The Church of Christ w/o all that bothersome Christianity. We have been able to reduce the Bible to a mere 3 pages, leaving only the most positive of messages. Why be burdened with all those negative doctrines? We have reduced those nasty 1500 pages to a message of hope and spirituality. Don’t be concerned we have been able to double space and uses 20 point type for ease of reading and still only use three pages that will even keep people with real short attention spans interested. Come join us this Sunday and buy our book. The cost is donation and a reasonable fee of $100. This book has taken our scholars weeks to accumulate the most positive and salient points. It is a steal at twice the price.

The Church of the Smorgasbord God. Pick any 5 characteristics of our 100 Godly characteristics. You can build a God that suites your needs. See our smorgasbord of characteristics and select any 5 characteristics for $50. You’ll be surprised what a wonderful experience you can have with your smorgasbord God.

The Church of the Rebound. Having been rejected and finding your present faith untrue or lacking, the very next week you can find yourself in a congregation of fellow believers. Simply, in 50 words or less define your beliefs. Then, with the payment of a modest fee of $250, our highly trained ministers will enter your specifications into our computerized, religious algorithms. Not only will we furnish a minister that will teach doctrines compatible with your declaration of belief but will also match you with congregants that closely parallel your beliefs allowing you to be in a congregation of at least 50 similarly inclined devotees.

I'm sensing a theme there...:)

Should have included the Church of the Gullible and Naïve - we'll cry with you and pray with you for a small fee of $100 a month.

Almost forgot. The Church of the All Powerful God - He can perform any miracle - raise the dead, make mules speak English or possibly Hebrew, depending on the circumstances, make virgins have babies, turn water to bad wine, create worlds, etc. He does, however have one limitation - the inability to finance his own organization. Join today and help God be God. For a $1,000 a month you can help God with his one disability.

maybe cheaper than Tile?

Or for free you can go to beliefnet.com and work through the belief-o-matic quiz and it will tell you what religion your true beliefs are closest to. There is this caveat however, "WARNING: Belief-O-Matic® assumes no legal liability for the ultimate fate of your soul." And I only suggest it if you're looking for a faith community. If you have no need of one, that's great.

When I worked through it in 2001 and it told me I was 98% Unitarian Universalist, I couldn't believe I was a Moonie. I worked through it again being very careful to move the slider according to how important things were or were not. Next time it came out that I was 99% UU. So I figured there was something about the Moonies I didn't know. Of course, the first thing that popped up in my Google search was "Some people confuse the name with Rev. Sun Yung Moon's Unification church." Oh, oops. Anyway, I'm still a very involved UU and have been involved in no mass marriages. Although we did host a mass wedding reception for couples who got married when marriage equality became legal.