My cousins 18 years old son has depression and is working with his bishop that he can go on his mission soon. About 2 years ago the 17 year old son of my young womens president who had depression commited suicide while he was preparing to go on a mission.
A bishop has no mental health training how is he suppose to know when cousins son is ready to go on a mission? The 18 year old forgets to eat and is very underweight. There was a time when he would lock himslef in his bedroom make it all dark for days and he would only come out for meals if that. He is a little better now he hold a part time job and went back to college. Things are looking up for him but now they put mission pressure on him.
I have heard that quite a few missionaries came home due to depression. Does anyone know of an lds article I can show my cousin that mental health goes above serving a mission?
Cousin knows that I have resigned a few years ago from the church and our relationship has been strained since. Thanks for your help.

subeamnotlogedin Wrote:
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> A bishop has no mental health training how is he
> suppose to know when cousins son is ready to go on
> a mission?

The "spirit" will tell him.

You know, the same "spirit" that tells him when people are lying to him about their sex lives.
And the same "spirit" that tells him which people are just perfect for which calling.

That "spirit."

Who needs medical professionals when you have the "spirit?"

subeamnotlogedin Wrote:
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> I have heard that quite a few missionaries came
> home due to depression. Does anyone know of an lds
> article I can show my cousin that mental health
> goes above serving a mission?

I believe Mormon thinking is that mental health issues are CURED by going on a mission. Particularly if the depressed missionary works super-duper hard.

If the depressed person is not cured by their mission, then it was because they masturbated, or some other excuse that prevented God working his curing miracle on them.

My other cousin (her brother) had a back problem and the physician said that he would be able to serve a mission but that he was not allowed to ride a bike. Well the church sent him to a mission with cars and after 6 months of mission service he was sent to a bike mission. The bike mission jaked up his back even further. Now 18 years past his mission he still regrets that he wrote a bike on his mission. The problem is the cousins brother is also not active anymore so his example would not help his sister see the danger of a mission to someones health.

has 2 nephews. The first one went on a mission and went to a nice area not state side, but many people would love to go where he went.

He had a tough time dealing with how missions are run and leadership. He fell into a deep depression. The mission president put him in the mission home so he could watch him. FINALLY, they took him to a nonmormon psychiatrist and the psychiatrist said, "This kid needs to go home NOW." They finally sent him home. He has been home over a year now. Seems to be doing somewhat better at BYU, but at least at BYU he doesn't have his parents taking him to the temple all the time.

The second son it took a long time for him to get his call. All his friends had their call and they couldn't figure out why it was taking so long. Decided it must be his older brother's situation. This boy went within driving distance for the family.

They thought it was okay to send my disabled brother on a mission, too. He has never been the same and he is 52. He said he used to try to get hurt so he could go home. The other missionaries were brutal to him. Most of them called him gay and he did have one gay companion who tried to convince him he was gay. He came home thinking he was. My mother didn't tell me or anyone else for 2 years. My brother talked to the bishop all the time. No help at all. My parents didn't know yet that my husband is gay. Once I heard what was going on, I told her which therapist to take him to. He went twice and he never has thought he is gay again. And not that it would be a bad thing if he were gay, but he wasn't and I knew it, but he was SO CONFUSED.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/15/2018 12:06PM by cl2.

I had a friend with depression due to his family and what was expected of him. He was going to the Philippines. I talked to him told him the worst part of the mission was the MTC. To survive that when he gets to the Philippines just think of it as a 2 year vacation. I served there married a girl from the Philippines. 6 months after he got there he has the most asshole companion ever. Some guy from Ogden. I went to visit him as he was just 1 hour form where my wife's family was at the time. I went to take them out to lunch when this other elder said no that it was against the rules. My friend broke down crying borrowed a members phone crying to me telling me he couldn't handle the mission any more. he really was so down. Next day I was at there door that other elder be dammed. I took him out to eat and hung out all day as just a friend. We did that a few more times. He was assigned where wife lived for his last 6 months I think that really helped him over come his depression. Having people that cared about him and being a normal person. his life after his mission he was able to stand up to his family. Transferred from BYU to Utah. After a year went to a college in California and has never looked back on his family. And yes he is now dating a pinay nurse that we works with. and is no longer active in the church

I know there are church written articles about mental health that aren't completely awful, but I certainly don't feel like searching for them.

My youngest brother had attempted suicide and been in the psych ward, but he was doing well at the time they called him to serve a stateside mission.

He came home five months later and attempted again.

He has a decent life now, but he's never been well and won't ever be well.

A smidge of inspiration could have avoided that mission mess.

There is no inspiration, just ego driven men bumbling about.

My oldest brother has Bipolar disorder. We come from a GA family, on both our father's side and our mother's side--Double Mormon Royalty. My parents and my brother wanted the mission, in order for him to feel good about himself, and for the family to be proud of him. I don't think it was a coincidence that he was called to a mission only one day's drive away, and that the mission president was a relative from my mother's GA side of the family.

My brother was/is too out-spoken and overly emotional, and he was mercilessly bullied and hated on his mission. He cried for the president to send him home. Instead, the president assigned him to the mission home, to do office work for the rest of his mission. Unfortunately, another relative even worse than my brother was on that mission, too, and this other relative made my brother's life a living Hell, as his companion. My brother returned from his mission suicidal, and threatened to kill himself almost daily, for several years after that, until he left the cult, and joined in with his non-Mormon friends, who were all good people. My parents were kind and patient, and didn't push the temple or church attendance onto my brother.

My brother converted and baptized only one person on his mission--a lovely woman doctor--and they are friends to this day, and he says that friendship was the only good thing to come out of his mission.

It sounds to me as if there is a life at stake.

I would tell your cousin that a mission is a high-pressure environment that can only accelerate clinical depression. If your young relative is doing reasonably well with his current schedule, there is no reason to change it.

If you can talk with the young man, I think that would be a good idea as well. Tell him that President Monson did not serve a mission, and that a number of other church leaders did not serve missions as well. Tell him that it is okay to say "no" -- that sometimes it is entirely appropriate to put your own needs ahead of other people's needs.

I treated my mission as a two year vacation an so was able to survive.

I suffered depression since I was a kid...went on a mission and it got worse. I was depressed every day. I contemplated jumping in front of a train. Stayed the whole time but it took its toll. I’ve been on antidepressants for close to 20 years now. I 62 and at least once a week I have a recurring nightmare that I’m back on the mission at my present age, and can’t leave. PTSD.

That young man should NOT be going on a mission!
He needs to see a therapist so S/he can tell his parents and the bishop where to put their mission.