third grader was sent home from school for her 'distracting' haircut — but her mom says there's more to the story

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/third-grader-sent-home-school-distracting-haircut-mom-says-theres-story-212829629.html

Her haircut is fine, in my opinion.

Your recent threads include the topics Toys-R-Us, a teenager who had an unruly party, a kid who was kicked out of class for disruption, and now a bad haircut.

Do you have anything to say about Mormonism?

This poster is one who has posted many times over the years about how Mormonism has affected their family. He/she also posts articles on the subject, as well as other ones of interest. Stop picking on our regular of around 20 years with your acerbic attitude. Those of us who know his/her background give him/her a lot of credit for his/her accomplishments, despite having an uphill battle in several areas.

Thank you for your comment, which includes relevant information and would be more impressive still if you'd had the courage to affix your actual moniker to it.

Excuse me! I have gone by the board name Topper for years. Long time posters, such as Elder Old Dog can vouch for that.

Your hubris is getting old.

No need to apologize.

Regarding your claims about my "hubris," I think you mean "pride" or "arrogance" or perhaps "acerbic writing." "Hubris" doesn't work in this context.

You find out the OP does have something to say about Mormonism and this is your response?

In life do you have a hard time being wrong?

I’m usually wrong two or three times before I get out of bed in the morning.

I am wrong all the time.

I have yet, however, to learn what this thread has to do with Mormonism. So there's that.

And Topper is the one who chose to quarrel with me. So I don't feel too bad about replying in kind.

I have no doubt that Anonymous 2 is a fine person. I also know that s/he gets pretty aggressive with the political posts, so I reckon s/he doesn't need protection by Topper or by you.

She'll make a fantastic sister missionary someday.

(Now we're back on topic, lol.)

A worthy effort, Caffiend.

This silly little episode demonstrates how little kids will imitate older kids (teens & young adults). Something to think about when we discuss religion, politics, alcohol and drugs, sexuality, and so on.

I must be missing something. The girl has been shaving her head or cutting shapes into her hair for years. Surely the fact that she saw a new style on TV and decided to imitate it is not very important. This was a kid who had been expressing her independence from societal norms from long before.

I agree with you about the broader point--religion, politics, sex, drugs, etc. But if we are going to take those topics seriously, it is important to distinguish the trivial from the profound. And hair style is, in my estimation, trivial.

Why is such a big deal made of a different haircut?

It's ridiculous... this society is so into looking the same , talking the same and acting the same. Originality is frowned
upon... its a shame that people can't just accept differences.
And just be original, authentic people... let them be who they
are and express themselves the way they want to.

This same thing happened to my son in jr High. He got a different
hair cut and was told to come back when his hair grew out. There wasn't anything wrong with it, it was just a different hair cut.
The funny part of the story is that right away every other kid
got the same haircut. All of a sudden it was ok to look like
my kid with the new haircut.

There are so many more serious and important things to focus on
and yet people are such unoriginal cows they try to look like
everyone else just to be accepted. Its lame and sad. Be who you
are people. !!!!!!!

Probably just "distracting" to the adults who didn't have enough maturity and self-control to ignore the hair and just get down to the business of teaching.

I've seen a lot worse. I personally would be inclined to let it pass.

Public schools do have the power to ban clothing and hairstyles that pose a distraction to the learning process. When a kid shows up to school with a look that says, "I am ready to party" it can lead to a playful attitude on the child's part and on the part of other students. I've had to have several discussions with some students over the last few days about how school is their JOB and they need to give it the same respectful attention that their parents give to their jobs. Being dressed and styled in a reasonably appropriate manner can help kids to realize that they are in school for the serious business of learning.

Things that I personally ban from my classroom include overly playful headbands (i.e. cat ears,) excessive jewelry or jewelry that is being played with (which is more often than not at the elementary level,) and any type of lip gloss or makeup (which again, to a young child is basically a toy.)

and the style of the color and plaid would have to be consistent, it would have to be observed consistently (ie not switching from one gang color to another etc. but if this child is sporting a gang color, ie laces on shoes, line and stripe on sneaker/tennis, color in plaid) then any district would enforce code or initiate some local neighborhood based clothing/hair style related individual contract with a student.

this could get a Mormon very confused. they could be scratching their head in Utah right now putting their own white bread style on this little girl saying good heck and being critical. Now that is not being respectful of the child's mothers protective stance and the child's mothers supportive stance meeting her daughter's needs in her own community. This child is receiving diligent nurturing caring communicative support from her family and this child's mother is going the distance to show she cares that her child receives support.

next since the child's public photo indicated some possibly gang related attire, just because someone in Sacramento or Los Angeles would recognize a plaid as their gang affiliate does not mean someone wearing it in Fresno meant it, it could be a chrismas gift (like Santa's colors you know) if that attire and style was consistent week to week and not worn intermittently mixed with OTHER gang's colors and styles (! yes! non gang affialiated children wear many differning color patterns all the time! so, you would have to see, over time, if the child's style was consistent and dressing in an established gang logo affiliation- which is frowned on usually by admin or campus police) so parents have no idea, sometimes, when their children wearing Christmas clothing gets tagged with a gang dress code contract- it shocks them! A lot. But they can see the need for safety - they might need to express their need for their child's safety and worry making them want to be sure their child and recognized by older students and strangers as part of a group so they would protect them, and if that is so, then they might need to tell the principal how worried they are. (instead of it being a adversarial thing where really what we want is the principal protecting our child.)

finally, someone, if there was a an established pattern of gang affiliated colors and clothing style, then, only then, would a local expert with local code "like a dialect" for "symbols" or "local connotation in a gang/group affiliate reigionally for a style- of jewelry or drawing or shape or a symbol of length of clothing or hair or anything- that contained local neighborhood state or regional gang affiliated connotation---
that person, would 'code' out of 'recognize' identified specifics which were violating 'public dress code' for a given organization.

in other words, someone would have to interpret the symbols, numbers of waves, numbers of hanging curls, numbers of razed lines, numbers of spots, names of local groups and logos, symbols drawn onto head -- this local connotation is what makes a violation requiring in house suspension (ie separation from rest of student body who need to be kept safe non intimidated non threatened so child is either in house or not on site.) any local symobls with neighborhood or regional connotation by showing hair or missing hair- by the older person doing the hair cut-- not the little child receiving it, who is so young they cannot draw on the side of their head with either a razor or a machine yet.

now if you think I'm over reacting on the side of admin- its about safety on site for all staff and students first. Including this little kid. No one no way anywhere needs to be placed sporting or carrying something as unsafe as being a tiny little gang flag alone away from home. Look at the fresno bee, go back 2 or 3 weeks look at abc channel 30 news, link Fresno and look at last month when the entire city was warned on series of gang hits retaliation spanning the south and central city up almost to River Park as cars chased one another shooting. These little children need to be safe in the secular multi ethnic environment in the public school, and so they need to comply with district policies and local rules.

further Fresno was blessed with one of the largest best most amazing Hmong and Laotian community ever on the planet here from South East Asia because of the Vietnam war. And everyone knows better than to distress or disrespect or be discourteous of a Hmong clan.

So if that is the case, then, if there is an insignia drawn which is a religions symbol from South East Asia, or a clan significance, a meaning from a cultural morality story or fable or great story from the past- then the school principal needs to be informed that the child is wearing a story or pictograms from a story which is sacred and holy and beautiful from their homeland, and it is culturally insensitive to denigrate or frighten the child over their culturally misguided lack of comprehension of this beautiful cultural story the child asked to have drawn on them. (& we've already learned tattoos aren't allowed this young so it could be a story they wanted.)

Finally- you know, school site staff can get confused there is so much stuff going on, I recall substitute teaching 1st grade, over 25 years ago and being amazed at the tiny little children in kindergarten in South HAnford coming to school wearing their families' prison gang colors, attire, hair stripes/ norteno flag whole deal. Kindergarten. I took a knife a blade, a knife as blade as long as the child's face, away from a first grader in a sand box, might have been kindergartener. So rules matter. Some don't believe that this matters, but groups are mixing, children need to be able to dress without inviting attack as a prison gang bulletin board or walking street sign prosylting a gang even in kindergarten, the little children dressed in prison gang attire trying to go to kindergarten were at risk of being attacked or hurt or mistreated by children from other rival gangs, yet dropped off 5 years old alone on the side walk or un escorted to the classroom.... so rules set community behaviors, and children aren't allowed to wear criminal affiliate clothing or carry weapons in elementary school. Districts got serious with dress code. teachers and school staff don't want someone getting hurt, shot at, or verbally attacked when they are just a little tiny strong elementary child, so they don't want them wearing neighborhood gang insignias away from home where they parents can protect them, and especially do not want a child to wear some wrong gang attire by ACCIDENT they don't understand but saw on u tube video- and the parent not know either (it happens.) Everyone wants to be safe /;

I recall being invited to take a job for suspended teens at a junior high 28 years ago that had shootings on the street and murders at its school crossing, my husband asked me not to take the position. And we stopped enjoying that part of the art community when we read the murder charts on the map of gang hits after that, (sigh) oh it was very disappointing becoming away strolling there was unsafe at night or even broad daylight. And it disappoints all the families- because Fresno is a beautiful place full of beautiful people and they make good art. You should see it. and music. everyone is disappointed and becomes protective showing reasons you shouldn't even try to hurt them when the news channel is telling of gang retaliation and gang shooting at church in daylight, even a beloved coach's kid. This is not calm safe city in parts of the community. So we need to understand that and put being safe, ways people posture to be safe, how others try to make us safe, in context, in order to understand this. LOVE IS.

anyways- beautiful student with a beautiful hair cut representing a beautiful family in a beautiful place sharing their cultural gifts letting strength grow and life flow.
the student, the child is phenomenal fabulous extraordinary probably gifted talented and I want them to receive the best of everything life brings glitter and glamor great cars lifes very best success to the child. And the mama god bless and care and keep and hold the mama safe and the community safe and strong lite let the mama be strong like a mama bear as her baby needs. I want the family to find the way to get their needs met.

surely the safety of the community has made many many many people feel ill at ease in every family. And so let the mama make her child safe and let the school be the safest placed, and let the child go and find life's best joy. Safe. beautiful. beloved. That's the language the mama is using on the video, she wants her child safe and cared for and respected, and she wants the admin and community to treat her and her child and her family with respect and treat her nice be nice to her and be nice to her child. for god's sake. already. obviously. I respect that mama and it is her right to fight for her child so they will both be strong. Isn't that all that really matters- being strong? teaching the child how to be strong? strong skills strong mind strong in every way? She is being a wonderful mother. She has the right, no the duty, to be strong, to be a strong person and show her daughter how to be strong in the world. That's how it is. Amen. (its not Mormon sunday school 'turn the other cheek' that is not how it is_)


LOVE IS

Painting, you make a good observation about the gang colors and styles. I didn't even think about that. I did work in one neighborhood where I avoided wearing gang colors.