How many of you remember coming here to 'set some Anti-Mormons straight' when you were Mormon?
How many of you remember being "Devout"?

https://www.exmormon.org/phorum/read.php?2,2091696

I remember doing that waaay back at the very beginnings of RfM.
I always knew that world was out there and my (then) wife always warned me about becoming an anti-Mormon, like Ed Decker, Saints Alive, who's from our neck of the woods. So I kind of just ignored places like this as a Mormon.
But then my kids started asking serious questions about the faith we inherited. The asked about the racist scriptures and I never did buy the whole Curse of Cain myth and thought it was horrible. But I never really took it seriously, until I had to answer my own children's questions. My kids are part Native American. So am I. I was concerned about raising my Native American children to believe they were cursed with dark skin due to the sins of their forefathers. I finally gave up trying to counter the racist attitudes at church when my Bishop's wife was teaching my kids in Seminary about how Brigham Young said the punishment for mixing your blood with the seed of Cain was grounds for stoning to death. Always was and always will be.
My head almost exploded!
I was so GD pissed. But who was I going to tell, the Bishop, her husband?
When I complained to her, she told him I got on her case.
He told me it was fine for me to harbor these doubts about the gospel, but if I shared them with any other MOrmons he'd be forced to discipline me.
I asked, "Even My wife and kids?"
HE said, "Especially your wife and kids!" (3 of whom he'd delivered)
I gold him he'd have my resignation in his hand tomorrow.
And he did.
I got most of the information to fight against this abusive CULT's abuse of power over me and my family, from RfM and the crowd sourcing you guys provided for me to find my way out of it and onto something waaaay greater.

I was out years before RfM

Same here.

Still RfM has been the rescuing cavalry confirming "oh yeah! You were not wrong."

Me too. I used the library.

The first thing I read online was the complete issue of "The Expositor" by William Law.

I had read parts of it in books but not the whole thing.

When I first started seriously questioning the Church, I came here to RFM to gain some insights during my struggle to see the truth. I remember getting viciously ripped apart and my posts deleted if I said ANYTHING, and I mean ANYTHING positive about the Church while I was just barely hanging on by a thread.

RFM has come a long way since that viciousness I once encountered. Now it seems the posters here are much more willing to help others work through that confusing state of one foot in and one foot out of the Church. RFM has become a pretty good place for the disaffecting to learn from now.

But RFM did not wake me up exclusively. I'd been studying Church history, which brought me to RFM for help.

No. But it has been immensely educational.

*swearing*
Yes!!! I left the church when I moved out at 18. Just didn't want to be part of the tyrannical nature and abuse anymore. I went 'inactive'. At the time I knew nothing about the problems with the history, doctrine, etc. 3 years ago I realized my parents were trying to suck my daughter into the cult. I was googling how to get Mormon parents off my back and BAM! I found this website inadvertently. And oh man it rocked my world. I knew nothing about what went on in the temple until I found RFM. I felt like I was finally waking up from a horrible nightmare. I realized that when I was a child and my parents would hire a babysitter for us and go to the temple, they were doing the throat slashing and Pay Lay Ales. Holy fuck!! I was glued to this site for 2 solid weeks. The house of cards crashed hard. Mind blown. Everything I had cog dis about as a child and teenager finally made sense!!!!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/20/2018 10:54PM by bluebutterfly.

Before actively posting, I lurked for a long while and saw no point in getting into a volley of words between members of this forum.

I went to the archived content and devoured Steve Benson's writings. His thought processes were instrumental in drawing out a logical conclusion to leave the church. I remember the very last posting that cinched it for me. It was the posting on Mormon Royalty. I sent a link to a friend so he could read Steve's posting, so the moment is clear to me for when I was mentally out of the LDS church forever. Read here from pg. 5 of the PDF.

https://www.exmormon.org/Does-Mormon-Royalty-Get-Special-Treatment.pdf

. . . my first sinful sip of Royal Crown Cola.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/21/2018 07:22PM by steve benson.

Being hospitalized woke me up a little bit. Realized the religion would kill me if i didn't seek actual professional help.

In 1997, I was pretty fed up with church. Not so much an issue with history or doctrine, but just day-to-day stupidity and lack of inspiration, and programs that were busy-work and didn't work. And promises of happiness, but many depressed.

Anyway, wrote a long letter to send to headquarters in a last ditch effort for answers. Figured there might be some big picture I was missing that would explain all.

Anyway, I looked on the internet for their address and sent the letter. Found this site, and discovered the simple answer for the stupidity is the whole thing was BS. Bogus inspiration because there isn't any.

Sure a lot easier explanation than addressing each issue.


BTW, they sent my letter back to the Stake President, who told my wife, against my request to keep it confidential.

No that was pretty much my FOOL time MORmON mission, then my convert helping me along, then Gordon BS HincLIEy being such a LYIN ASSpostHOLE and his being involved with the Olympics and telling Larry King that polygamy was not doctUrinal. with all that I exit in sep 1998. ......but I certainly like RFM and what it has done even IF I was already out by the time RFM came along. Actually, IF I get a wish, I wish that I had exited the MORmON cult much sooner.

I found this place after I mentally checked out.

I believe it was sometime in 1997 when I first came to RfM. I was pretty much mentally out at the time. I had been told for years not to read anti-Mormon literature, so one night I typed “anti-Mormon” into Yahoo Search (Google wasn’t around yet) and it brought me here. More than anything I was fascinated that the people posting were saying things I had felt for years. I was like, “Wow…these folks here are just like me!!” All of a sudden I didn’t feel so alone.

I remember there were only around 50-60 bios. I stayed up all night reading everything. I really miss the old-time posters and the culture of the board from back then. I still bake the "Cream In Your Jeans Brownies" recipe that a poster named "Wags" shared once. Good times.

Not.

I just passed my three year anniversary mark for RfM though. It is good to know this site is here for people like us.

"... But I never really took it seriously, until I had to answer my own children's questions. My kids are part Native American. So am I. I was concerned about raising my Native American children to believe they were cursed with dark skin due to the sins of their forefathers."

You know...as a plain old white-dude, I originally read that and similar statements made re: people OTW (Other Than White), as...how completely illogical...how can anyone think/believe that??

But...you being part OTW (pls note the sarcasm, not the label..s/) as are your kids, that is a heavy statement of yours. I bet many others like you, thought the same thing but stuck it out because..."it is the one, true church.."

Good for you for teaching your kids that just because your not a wonder-bread white mormon...you still are a person, and an individual..

No. I was out long before RfM was even a twinkle in Eric's eye :)

I wish it had been around back then, though. I would have treasured it.

Yes! I was told I had a problem with polygamy because I didn't have faith. I found this site and realised I'd been lied to and gaslighted.

Thank you RfM!

No. But RfM helped put my life back into a clearer perspective. Some of the contributions of early posters were incredible. I know they have moved on but I miss many of them.

Yes for me totally. I was intrigued by the "recovery" title, wondering why anyone would need to recover from Mormonism. As I read many posts, and then many stories of why people left, I started to check out what exmo's were claiming.

It was 1999 and it was the DNA issue with the Book of Mormon. Once I read the evidence, and realized that Native Americans were not descendants of Lehi, it all crashed. I still remember the weight lifted off my shoulders when I figured out that Joseph Smith made it all up. Finally, everything made sense.

I listened to a local talk show host about changing your thoughts and re-wiring your thinking. So then, I read online the Tanner's book "The Changing World of Mormonism". That led me to reading other books and then I stumbled on RfM archives, and then on to this current board. I "lurked" for about a year just reading the posts before I dared to try to write my experiences or opinions because I felt intimidated by everyone's intelligence here. Yes RfM did help me so that I could step back and see the forest in spite of the trees.

No. But RFM helped me sort out the mess I was left with, couldn't compute, and had just buried all the way to China.

They say misery loves company, but I think exploration loves it even more.

as my marriage was falling apart. At the point I found RfM, I was emotionally OUT. I just was still afraid of things like not wearing garments. My exmo therapist told me about this site so I could read up on temple issues.

I've said it many times before, I didn't know most of the history. I'd heard things, but it had to be life experience for me. I could have known all the history and put it on a shelf. My experiences with lds leaders over the gay issue was ??? Can't think of a word.

My ex and I were talking about this thing with the girl missionary and the MTC mission president, Joseph Bishop, last night. I read the church's response to her. It brought up a lot of my past trauma dealing with the leaders. The history was just icing on the cake.

But I never was much of a person to talk about my beliefs to anyone. I didn't bear my testimony and I would never have read anything anti-mormon. It scared me too much. I had to be ready to read it all and I was when I came here in 2005 for the first time.

I had been reading posts on here for about a year before I ever posted something myself. In that year some of the things I read were absolutely instrumental in helping with my enlightenment.

Would I be leaving regardless of rfm? Absolutely.

Would I feel as safe? No

Would I have gone about it in a better way? Probably not. Probably would have taken longer, too.

#grateful

I had some distant family members that were Mormon. I never
really thought much about it. Then I met a person who became
a close friend over like 15 years. He was a Mormon and I
saw how deeply troubled he was with his life and marriage and
kids and grandkids.

I was truly his best Non Mormon friend. He confided many
things over time and my heart broke for him and his past
Mormon life. The dreams. The expectations. The failures.

Mormonism sucked the life out of him and his existence. He
passed away and I went to the Ward for his funeral celebration
or whatever it was? It was too weird for me to comprehend
it all. I knew for SURE that day, what I had suspected all
along was that it was a crazy cult of people that really had
no clue about what they believed or what life was all about.

Oh how tears of joy can flood our hearts in having trust that not a single person would ever consider thinking of leaving the Church because of "RfM having anything to do with a person waking up from a so-called Mormon delusion" thanks to having an atmosphere in the Church of off the charts honesty and transparency. When members, from cradle to death, are strongly encouraged to study up everything thoroughly and see how hard and diligently the leaders/members work to answer any/all questions then the overwhelming abundance of honest/transparency is just so breathtakingly awesome :)

Now if anyone were to ever be able to demonstrate that at any point in Church history/present that the leadership wasn't completely honest/transparent then it would rightfully cause them to have a Doubt form about the truthfulness of the Church. Nevertheless even if they ever did something dishonest or teach contradictory doctrines then of course they'd repent super quickly, presuming they are a true Church :)

I presume that when people read what I write and they say to themselves "gosh that Honest TBM is so non-delusional about this super honest transparent Church" then they might consider taking the next step towards reinvestigating the Church. Now I am well aware that my credibility here has really taken a huge hit :( I'm supposed to produce those links at lds.org showing the very recent summary Church financial statements which anyone honest would expect to be up there for people to more easily see how true the Church is. But I've been slothful on this. Perhaps kept too busy by the glorious middlemen who have been called at our local level to keep us so super busy doing numerous callings, assignments such as cleaning the chapel toilets, and just too worn out to get everything done? You evil apostates are sure missing out on all this beloved busywork we have in the Church as you have to now find other things to do to keep busy instead of having the incredible blessing of having these beloved leaders controlling your lives. What a pity for you in not having this blessing.

Honest TBM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Now I am well aware that my credibility here has really
> taken a huge hit :( I'm supposed to produce those
> links at lds.org showing the very recent summary
> Church financial statements which anyone honest
> would expect to be up there for people to more
> easily see how true the Church is. But I've been
> slothful on this. Perhaps kept too busy by the
> glorious middlemen who have been called at our
> local level to keep us so super busy doing
> numerous callings, assignments such as cleaning
> the chapel toilets, and just too worn out to get
> everything done?

LOL! This is what helps me never return to the one true church. Praise be to the Honest TBM!

Absolutely! It was and is the reason I now call myself a gentile. When I was approached by the BP to take missionary discussions, I did a search on that topic to see what I could expect and this site came up. I spent months reading the stories and the postings. Within the year, I was mentally out even though they say I am still a member. I guess I am waiting for my parents to be gone before I send in the form and resign.

I left the church prior to finding RFM. When I got here it was so

helpful in identifying all the feelings I'd had as a member

and the reasons for the anger I felt. I got here, made

new exmo friends had tons of fun and learned so much. RFM

was the perfect place to be in terms of recovery from

mormonism and it still is. I'm so grateful it's here.

I was desperate, not devout, and
RFM got me out.

Topper Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I was desperate, not devout, and
> RFM got me out.
This sounds like a good slogan :-D

Thanks. It just kind of popped out of my brain.

Yes, RfM was a lifesaver for me and my son.
Absolute support from posters who were struggling as we were, and also support from those educated in LDS history without the whitewash. Incredible help. We hope RfM continues to tell the truth so those who need assurance can find it.

It is a continual struggle against the indoctrination since birth.

Thank goodness for RfM.

Yes RFM had everything to do with me leaving the cult. I read Martha Beck's book, "Leaving The Saints" and then that lead me here. I read everything on here for at least 2 weeks of obsessive reading. I laughed and cried, but mostly laughed at all the funny great healing people here. It was such a relief to know it was all made up. It was so amazing to find all the support and affirmation here. I will be forever grateful to Eric and RFM for being here 16 years ago when I needed them.

I left in 1968 about the time I went to college. I had had doubts for several years before. No, the internet and RFM had nothing to do with it as they didnt exist at that time.

No. I just imagined what my life would be like in a million years if mormonism were true. I didn't like the path I was on.

So I decided to forge my own path.

The main thing RfM did was let me know that I could resign from the cult, not just go completely inactive. Other than that, it helped confirm my suspicions that I had joined a cult.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/21/2018 10:44PM by doyle18.

Yes, it did do that. I resigned officially about 10 years ago even though I have been out for years.

RfM definitely helped me!! It made me realize I'm not crazy and there are others out there who aren't having the typical fast and testimony meeting experience (you know where people bear their puffed up testimony where they do all the things the church teaches and life is just freaking amazing). I grew up very much in love with Mormonism -- served a mission, married in the temple -- I loved everything about it as a youth and early adult. Long story short, I did not have a great experience there with my own kids -- they didn't fit the Mormon mold and leaders and other parents were often critical of them. I found Mormonism to be nothing but a drain -- a whole lot of tedious work where I would give and give and not get anything back. Paying tithing, fasting, praying, nothing seemed to help our family experience and being at church on Sunday just made me feel less about myself and kids. I felt like either there was no God, or if there was, he sure didn't give a damn about me or my kids. To take a quote from Joseph Smith "I learned for myself that Mormonism is not true". Unwinding Mormonism from my being and brain was very hard and sometimes I felt like I was going crazy -- RfM helped me realize I wasn't insane or less worthy in my efforts -- many others were also having a negative experience. It took about a decade from the first inklings of doubt, but I and my wife and kids have been out for about 8 years now and couldn't be happier and well adjusted. Life is soooo much more beautiful now!!

I came here after the South Park Episode aired back in 2003 and read for about 10 minutes.

I was so shocked at how evil everyone seemed I didn't visit another site critical of the church for 10 years. :/

Rfm had a lot to do with my leaving. Thanks to RandyJ, Deconstructor, Susie Q#1, Cheryl, SLCabbie, Deanie the Dreaded Single Adult, and many others. Began here, I think in 2000 and still TBM. It was a place I saw others having the same experiences and feelings I had. I thought I was alone until this sight. Now I am out and so much happier.

No. I left at the end of the 90s. I felt guilty for about 5 years until the wife finally asked if I ever planned to return. That's when I decided for sure that the whole facade was over forever and I did my part to run off every rescue mission from the church. I stumbled across this site and realized that there are many folks with similar stories and experiences to my own.

Yes, it was part of my study process.

Most of my study was on scientific matters, life prior to 6k years ago, evolution, DNA etc. However RFM was influential to me, both the discussions, and the archived content. Particularly, the Steve Benson and Bob McCue articles.

Thanks Eric, RFM

Yes! I had doubted the church for years, but gamely kept on going. Many here know how that goes. Whilst looking for a date that I knew had been altered by the church from their transition from the Book of Commandments to the Doctrine and Covenants, I discovered RfM. I had also discovered some others, the URLs of which I'm not allowed to post here. And they contained articles and discussions by and about Bob McCue, Simon Southerland, Steve Benson, and others. That was beginning/mid-2007. By the end of 2007, I had written a letter to my friends and relatives telling them of my plans to resign my membership. I was posted overseas, and constantly hobnobbing with the local mission president and his staff, so did not want to rock things until I returned in May 2008. Then I informed DW, bishop, and family, and New Year Day 2009 I resigned. It was actually pretty smooth and seamless, when compared to how it went for others. Since then, three of my kids have left, although only one of them formally resigned. He only had to do it because the church kept looking him up and sending people to him and his nevermo wife. Two kids are very active, and one is married to an LDS military chaplain, but for me there is minimal complication. Of five grandchildren, one is nevermo, and the other four show fantastic signs that they will someday leave the church. One of them is gay, so I fear a bit for how he'll be treated.

I could not have done this with out RfM and all of Eric's work and that of his staff, and the constant lively banter and discussion we find here here. It did not work as well on another, much tamer post-Mormon website. I needed the spirited arguing, for some reason, with people who were not afraid to be open, and even rude at times.

I began researching tithing on the internet to find out the history of tithing and to determine whether paying on the gross was necessary. I found the gross basis comprised 25 percent of my take home pay.

I first found my way to NOM, then Mormon think then RFM. RFMers seemed so anti mormon and angry. However my google searches for information always led to RfM. This research occured while City Creek Mall was being built and there were many postings about the use of tithing, in addition to the "translation process of BoM" and the many versions of the first vision.

I would stay up until 2 in the morning reading. One of those mornings, it all of a sudden hit me the church was not true.

Maybe it has.

What had burst my "mormon bubble" was reading the history books that the church tries to hide from their members. A study of 1 Nephi 13 in a single adult FHE put a lot in perspective for me.
But I was hurting discovering TSCC was not what I was taught to believe it was. There was hurt, anger, despair and fear. Coming to RfM helped me as in the town that I lived in, all I knew were mormons, my roommates at the time are hardcore Utah mormons (as they describe themselves) so I didn't know who to talk to.
RfM allowed me unleash my anger, and some posts made me laugh, helping know that I will be okay.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 03/24/2018 08:07PM by severedpuppetstrings.

I was already awake, but finding RfM was like being hauled aboard a rescue ship.

Thanks, Eric and all.

I was restless and uncomfortable, like having my shoes on the wrong feet, but couldn't quite pinpoint WHY, until I found RfM.

The posters here, including many mentioned by allegro, put into words the discomfort I was feeling. It felt so liberating, when somebody posted here that going to the temple was weird, not spiritual. That is exactly how I felt, but didn't feel free to say that to anybody.

RfM validated my feelings, and showed me how to find the "EXIT" sign. I will always be grateful for the support and compassion shown here.