Date: April 15, 2018 02:02PM
I think that planning is always a good thing! I planned for the good things that happened, after my divorces. Then, I worked hard, and never gave up. I did stay too long at one or two jobs that I hated, but I did move on, eventually.
I was in a muddle for a while, wondering what I really wanted to do with my life. Is this an ex-Mormon thing, after leaving the cult and all its enforced "goals"?
The tests weren't very helpful, in selecting an occupation. I liked science and the outdoors, and I tested in the 99 percentile in mechanical ability in all the standard college-entrance exams. So, the reports came back that I would be happy being a lumberjack or a sheep-shearer (outdoors with a chain saw or shears).
I tested high in other things, too, so that did sway my decision to go to college, which was a good thing. Forget what I said about the tests. After my first divorce, I went back to get my Master's, which, for me was a good thing. No matter what careers I pursued, an advanced degree leveled the playing field for me, a woman in a man's world. I was also able to comfortably relate to people of any socio-economic level.
A college degree, and beyond can still help you get a better job. It can give you more confidence, and can raise the ceiling for your aspirations.
I ended up in a career that was beyond my expectations, and a huge salary. I do like challenge, though. I had a great mentor, also! In the working world, a lot depends on dumb luck, and being in the right place at the right time.
When I was a very confused, new BYU grad, I signed up with a temporary employment agency, in order to try out various jobs, to see what I liked. The first job they gave me was working in an office attached to a warehouse, in an industrial area, a short distance from home, in Silicon Valley. It was not glamorous, but I was given a lot of responsibility, and an interesting variety of tasks on the job. I loved it! I liked the engineers and scientists I worked with. It was also social, because I was in charge of symposiums, and did the pre-interviews for hiring new people. The company grew, and I invested in it. These stocks will provide for part of my retirement!
When I got married the second time, moved to Utah, and had children, I went into real estate, with my husband, who had another job, too. I could work mostly at home, and make my own schedule. I had my own money, and made some wise, timely purchases. When my husband divorced me for another woman and hid all of his assets, and refused to pay alimony and child support, I had money of my own, and went into real estate sales, full-time. My broker was wonderful, and the market was booming. I never had to go from door to door, or hustle for clients. Real estate sales is harder now, but I have a huge client base.
All I ever wanted in life was to be a Mormon "Mother in Zion" and have children, and stay home and play with them and teach them. I didn't care that the hours were long and hard, and the work was 7 days a week--I loved it!
You can't plan for what other people do! One husband abused me, and the other cheated on me. The cult maligned me for being divorced. Mormonism depressed me. I had to leave the whole "mother in Zion" concept behind. I kept on being a mother, but my kids and I left Mormonism, and we have been doing well, ever since.
My family is my greatest joy in life! We all live in the same city in Utah.
I worked all my life, ever since I was old enough to babysit. When I retire, I plan to go back to my first job, of babysitting my grandchildren. I traveled extensively in high school, as an exchange student, and I took a year off from BYU (which I didn't like) to travel through Europe. I doubt that I will want to travel when I retire. I hope to leave a nice chunk of money to each of my children and grandchildren--and none to the Mormon cult or BYU, and no senior missions for me!