Date: April 20, 2018 12:51AM
JWs also have strict controls over who can get baptized. Unlike Mormons, as we know, who rush people into mo fonts before they know which way is up. First, (unless things have changed when I wasn't looking) JWs do not want you to be baptized before age 18. Second, they expect you to study their teachings and be able to answer dozens of questions about them correctly before they will give you permission to be baptized.
If they disfellowship (ex) you, only the elders (sr men in the congregation, also unlike Mormons to whom adolescent males are "elders") are allowed to contact you and even then only if you are interested in being reinstated. If not, if you want to leave, they will shun you forever. They don't want to drag you back kicking and screaming.
When knocking on doors, which it seems like they do far less often than previously, if a person states strongly that they are not interested, JWs are trained to just leave (if someone doesn't then they are going rogue on that). Their take on it is that they are now mostly only looking for those who are desirous of being part of their group, as far as I understand it last time I knew for sure what they were up to. That is why, I think, you see them standing quietly on the street with their magazine racks now and they may make eye contact and perhaps voice a greeting but they do not physically approach passersby and do not try to start conversations, as far as I have seen, and they are often in several of my favourite weekend haunts (weird! are they following me? ha!) so I would notice if any acted differently. It's definitely a different technique than previously. Maintain visibility, do not engage, it would seem.
I left the group quite a long time ago, after making it plain I had no interest in participating any longer. I had been in several congregations, and went back East for a year to be a missionary for them. So I knew a lot of JWs (and liked most of them). Even those I counted as good friends dropped me like a slimy rock once they heard about the big 'D'/ex. They are "not allowed" to even speak to a disfellowshipped person. They will get tainted, you see. And may find themselves also d'd for fraternizing with the enemy or something like that.
One friend back East (whom I had helped out of a giant pickle one time for which she was very grateful) did actually write to me once, which shocked me that she would "disobey" and contact me. She asked me why I left. I really appreciated that she reached out to me but for reasons I don't remember (likely procrastination, not knowing what to say, not wanting to get her into trouble) I never answered her. But my absolute best JW friend never kept in touch. That actually still hurts. I loved her absolutely. I was her bridesmaid. She was an exceptionally beautiful girl and I was beyond flattered that she would let me stand in her wedding photos! The best compliment I have ever received was when someone once thought we were sisters. (It was a little old lady with cataracts, ha).
So, the programming does run deep. It can override people's love, courtesy and natural inclinations to be a reasonable human being.
But I have been far more devastated and distraught during my Mo time. I found them way less friendly or inclusive than JWs. And etc.
Not to say, though, that JWs aren't judged and taught to judge in extreme ways.
They are just not "so much worse" than Mormons. I always marvel when I see exmos say that - which happens here quite often. It may seem that way from the outside looking in but I've been on the inside looking out of both groups and I say not true. I think there is a lot of misunderstanding of JW doctrine. It made a lot more sense to me, and is far simpler, than Mormon doctrine - an elusive beast to me at the best of times. Wait - there were no best of times for me in that organization. But my relatively rational experience with JWs made my Mormon interlude even more strange than it may otherwise have seemed. Like - it just never made any sense to me, plus was no fun, plus so much judgement.
Again, not saying JWs are so much better, especially when it comes to scare tactics and judgement, but they are not so much worse than Mormons.
I grant you it's largely in the eye of the beholder. But that's my experience.