Date: April 17, 2018 02:15AM
"Tell her to check out a single adult dance down there in Utah VAlley and see what there is out there."
That's the best advice yet!
Been there done that. I never would have had anything to do with the dances, except I was a faithful TBM, and my calling was with the stake single adults, and we had to take our turn hosting the regional dances (which was mostly police work.)
IMO, Mormons are more crazy and defective than other people. Your wife is not likely to find a doctor or a professional man, who is single. Mormons are gold-diggers (just like JS) at heart, and men with money can take their pick--hey, that's YOU! Only, you're not a Mormon, so you will have more normal, sane single women to choose from. Your prospects look better, going out and finding new happiness, rather than beating the dead horse of Mormonism.
I know what it's like, looking into vacant eyes. I know how it is being married to someone who just doesn't care. One ex beat me, and the other cheated on me. I didn't know about the cheating, but I did know he was never there for me and our children. As the years passed, he became more and more passive-aggressive and verbally abusive. The children were afraid of him, and regarded him as a stranger. He never went to their ball games or school performances--he just didn't give a damn. He didn't help around the house, didn't listen to the kids, never had a conversation. He would eat the dinners I made every night, invite his friends and family over to our house, because it was nice, and would go on vacations with us, which I paid for. He told me that he liked having me as a geisha-girl and live-in maid, babysitter, cook, and maid. He treated his children as though they were "things" or pets, and not real people, at all. I went into therapy (he would not) and got help in how to include him in the positive aspects of being a parent, and he did enjoy the fun times. He never picked out a gift for anyone, never paid a compliment, no matter how great his children were.
I would not wish that kind of marriage on my siblings or my children, or my self. I am so much happier single.
Your unhappiness is UNNECESSARY! Just like most of the cult boredom, busywork, expenses, and abuse is UNNECESSARY. There is no God who is telling you to stay in this marriage. God has nothing to do with your wife's delusions and selfish, mean behavior. Cut your losses, and move on:
While you are still young.
Before you have children.
Before your wife finds someone else
Before she runs out of manipulative tactics and resorts to abuse.
Before she finds someone else, and leaves you, anyway.
She will always be looking for that perfect, Mormon eternal companion. All she needs to do is run into a man who can pretend to be all those things, and she will choose him over you.
You need to LISTEN to her and talk honestly to her. What does your wife really want? Does she just cry, and not talk to you at all? Try leaving Mormonism out of it, and find out what she wants of her real life in the real world. Ask her flat-out if she loves you.
Face the facts!
The Truth is, we deserve better than the cult. Most good human beings deserve to be loved. We want to give love, to take care of others, bring happiness into people's lives, to help others--and have just a tiny bit of it reciprocated.
Your wife is violating the marriage vows, and she is violating your human rights, when she treats you like dirt. All of this (and also withholding of sex) is grounds for divorce--even without the "issue" of religion.
Let her know that she needs to stop crying and carrying on like a spoiled child who isn't getting 100% of everything she wants. This is real life. Her children won't be perfect, either, so probably she won't love them as she should, either.
I think you know all of this, and want out of the marriage. Don't feel guilty! Half of all married couples end up getting divorced. Divorce literally saved my life, twice.