I started a new job a few months ago. Today at a work-social, a coworker asked if I was mormon. I paused for too long and then said no. I didn't want to lie, but I do not want anyone to associate me with the church. I am still a member, but I find most aspects of the church to be embarrasing, disgusting, or just silly.

He said he noticed that I never drink coffee. Maybe I should start.

No need to start if you don't want to. I'm a Scandinavian Lutheran and I don't drink coffee. Talk about a habit that can get you kicked out of a church. Not drinking coffee is blasphemy, but they let me get away with it.

Just keep saying no and moving forward.

Witch!!! No coffee!!! It’s the Third Sacrament! Heresy!!! I’ll bet you weren’t properly catechized!! Peace be with you!

Hi LowPriest, if you don’t identify as LDS, than I don’t see this as a lie. When I travel, if people ask me where I’m from, I generally say California (which is true). Although I’ve lived in Utah a long time, I don’t identify as a Utahn and I'm sick and tired of trying to explain polygamy and Utah’s liquor laws in casual conversation.

BYU Boner Wrote:
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> Hi LowPriest, if you don’t identify as LDS, than
> I don’t see this as a lie. When I travel, if
> people ask me where I’m from, I generally say
> California (which is true). Although I’ve lived
> in Utah a long time, I don’t identify as a Utahn
> and I'm sick and tired of trying to explain
> polygamy and Utah’s liquor laws in casual
> conversation.

I never identified with being a mormon boner. I was always embarrassed to be a part of that group as a kid i just feared the wrath of my father. It's almost like i was born into the church to be a mole and then later take it down once the time was right as an adult or something. People will always make fun but no one has ever seen me healthy and recovered before, and that includes myself.

I played a card game today and it revolved around lying to win and i sucked at it. I am way too honest.

Badassadam1 Wrote:
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> no one has ever seen me healthy and recovered before, and that includes myself.

You’re getting there, Badass.

You might be on to something boner.

And also with you.

Yes I am a witch, but I can make a mean cup of spoon standing up in it coffee that others will drink. I just don't like the stuff.

Blame my Irish Catholic mother, she served tea.

The 11th commandment in the Lutheran Church is "Thou shalt drink a cup of coffee after the service"

You're not a mormon if you're not believing and active.
So you didn't lie :)

Wow! I had not considered that. By letting the LDS church set the process for my exit, I am still playing by their rules! I never realized how much they controlled me, even after I thought I had figured it out. Get out of my head mormons! You still have your hooks in me, but I WILL BE FREE!

If you do not believe you are a Mormon, you are not a Mormon. That is how the real world works. No other church requires some official resignation in order to no longer consider oneself a member.

This ^^^ is a great answer.

You did not lie.

You had a prefect right to say what you did. Don't worry about the coffee either. Only drink it, if you want to.

But do drink coffee if you ever have depression or need to avoid falling asleep while driving. I got my TR even when I admitted drinking coffee to stay awake.

Please explain how coffee cures depression.

Does this have to be an issue of religion? Are Mormons the only ones who are not a member of the coffee cult?

How about telling them you don't drink coffee because you don't like drugs, and it tastes bad, and makes a mess, and it and the associated equipment costs money and you like to think for yourself. Tell them you're not a herd animal.

My original point was actually this-

I would be willing to make changes just to stop being one of the usual suspects. People around here like to know if you are mormon or not because Mormons can be a pain in the ass. I know that may be an unfair generalization, but I think most people I meet would be relieved to know that I view them as equals and will not make friends with them just to sneak religion into their lives.

I agree with Cheryl. No need to feel guilty. You handled that inappropriate question well.

Is he a Mormon?

Do you live in a Mormon stronghold?

But yeah, if you don't believe in it and no longer go, there's no reason to pretend that you are one. On the other hand, whether you are or not, unless you felt comfortable disclosing that to someone you don't really know all that well is completely up to you.

I have not resigned and don't plan to. When I get asked if I'm a mormon, I respond that I am, but I don't believe in ghawd, so I am more properly a 'mormon-atheist.'

No one has ever pushed for further enlightenment. Which really hurts!!

I have never bothered to resign, but I’m not a Mormon.

In those rare occasions when I’m asked about religion, I say that was a very devout Mormon for most of my life, but now I’m a born-again agnostic.

How is it his business?

Especially since it is obviously something you weren't comfortable discussing. It wasn't any business of your coworker, and you don't need to give out any information you don't want to. And depending on what perspective you want to take, someday you will not consider yourself Mormon.

Maybe try tea instead. Baby steps. Less caffeine. Won't be as bitter, especially green. I hated coffee the first time I tried it, so, just to warn you.

Coffee is an acquired taste. That being said, I learned to drink it in my wild rebelling as a Mormon teen years.

My high school chums and I would sit at Denny's for hours when a cup of "all you could drink" coffee was only a quarter. I drank it with sugar and creamer back in the day.

Still like it sweetened only now with stevia and fat free creamer. :)

I'm a purist. I drink it black - at least five regular cups a day.

Are you a Mormon by

Birth?

Baptism as a child pleasing their family?

An event many years in the past shouldn't define you today.

If you don't believe and don't practice and are a member only because you were placed in the religion by family. Are you really a mormon?

Not a lie if you don't identify as Mormon.

Answers I've given when asked that question:

My family is from the Mormon culture. But don't hold that against me!
(They usually don't know if that means I'm inactive or what, but it tips them off that I understand the Mormon lingo.)

If I need to be. (Smile big. They will probably think you are a jack Mormon who they can joke with.)

Mormon? Been there, done that. (Smile big. This will make them suspect you got exed or went inactive.)

I do my own thing.

Questions like that can catch you off-guard. It's nice to have a few benign responses planned.

Good luck with your new job!

I don't think you should worry about telling lies about religion. Of all things, religion is festering with lies so you owe no honesty regarding it, IMO.

Mormon atheist??? WTF is that? You are either Mormon, or you are not. Stop with the guilt. ....really

Here's how I justify my mormon atheism label:

I grew up as a mormon. I observe the outward indicia, i.e., the word of wisdom, no earrings or tattoos, modest in my dress and appearance, etc. Tribal mormonism... If I were to see missionaries in trouble, I would go out of my way to help.

But I don't believe in a Supreme Being. ...Although I do believe in supreme beings, like Saucie...

So why do you bother following the other crap JS spouted out as gospel? It means nothing at all to follow it.

If "...cuz that's the way I grew up..." doesn't satisfy you, then we are at an impasse, about which neither one of us should give a darn.

I guess I can respect that. I really only lived like that for the 2 yrs on my mission and the 2 at BYUI. Before and after.....I did what I wanted. Damn following the crazy JS crap.

It's been almost 40 years since I identified as "Catholic", and yet a Catholic coworker assumed I was Catholic because I had a Catholic vibe...whatever that is.

I should go find him now and explain that the vibe he felt was my Catholic Atheism.

GregS Wrote:
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> It's been almost 40 years since I identified as
> "Catholic", and yet a Catholic coworker assumed I
> was Catholic because I had a Catholic
> vibe...whatever that is.
>
> I should go find him now and explain that the vibe
> he felt was my Catholic Atheism.



Yep. I have had people say I have the mormon glow. Not sure what that means.

Lying is a tool. You just use it very carefully.
The truth about you belong to you—nobody else!
It’s not theirs.
It’s not public domain.

The church is right about this one IMHO. I used to drink it, but it gave me sleep problems (even when I drank it in the morning), and increased my anxiety levels. It's also a possible carcinogen.

Coffee actually reduces certain prostrate cancer likelihood by up to 80%. The so-called carcinogens are very low and NO cancers are known to have been caused by the levels in coffee!

As for sleep problems, I can fall asleep with no trouble at all even if I drinks three cup before bedtime.

The people I have known who have a significant problems sleeping if they drink, have a tendency to Alheimer's.

For most people, coffee increases alertness. Coffee is also good for depression.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/10/2018 09:39AM by rhgc.

Some people can drink massive amounts of coffee with no bad affects. Others can't.

There are no dietary rules that fit everyone. We are individuals with individual needs.

One thing that drew me to the church was no coffee, no tea. My family inhaled both I thought thatthey both stank. If/when I leave the church I'll still have no problem not using them, and I won't owe anyone an appology.

I have never liked the taste of coffee. I came from a tea-drinking family, though, and I missed my iced/hot tea very much for the 17 years I was a Mormon.

The first iced tea as I was steering my way out was HEAVEN!! It took a while before I dared to order my first Margarita in ages, and it tasted wonderful! I come from a long line of alcoholics, so after going through a couple of horrific hangovers in college, I learned about moderation, and stick to the single-drink rule.

I think my DH was a little bit shocked at first. After a few years, he ordered something alcoholic once. I don't remember what it was, but he wasn't that impressed, and has not done so since then. I'm pretty sure that he backed off not because of the WoW, but because he genuinely did not enjoy the beverage. That's OK. Like me, he came from a long line of alcoholics. Neither of us needs that kind of craving.

While he remains a TBM at the core of his being, he has eased away from many of the sillier prohibitions. He no longer worries about watching an R-rated movie if he thinks it is worth seeing. He is inactive, and doesn't seem to miss the Mormon merry-go-round.

I think it was amazing for him to realize that you can "believe" without caving in to all of their silly little rules. When I took two months off back in 2006 to rampage through Europe, he was still working. Apparently, the church took that opportunity to love-bomb him half to death. They were so blatant in their effort to separate us that he was shocked, and he told them so. They backed off.

(I only heard about this in bits and pieces, after I came back home. I inherited some family money, and was already retired. I wanted to wait until he, too, was free to go, but he insisted, wisely, that I go without him. It was MY dream, Item One on my Bucket List, and had been, since my childhood. He pointed out that if I went by myself, my budget would stretch farther, and I could see more places. It was terrifying, at times, but a genuine dream-come-true.)

Already a "recovering Mormon" by then, I sampled marvelous local wines in France and Italy, saw all kinds of things that I had only read about in books - it was wonderful. I'm glad that I wasn't hamstrung by the WoW by then. One couple I became friendly with in Italy and Greece asked me what church I belonged to. I told them I was a recovering Mormon. They looked at each other and laughed. The wife said, "I guess that makes us 'recovering Catholics.' " They were finding their way out, too.