Date: May 15, 2018 07:29PM
When I was little, especially in summertime, I had only one goal each day: to get the BLEEP out of the house and beat feet to the home of one of my friends, so we could play.
My mother stationed herself at a place where she could do surveillance on both the front and back doors. Every time she caught me trying to get out, she would call me back, and tell me to do the dishes, scrub the bathtub, fold the laundry, or whatever tiresome thing she could think of at the moment. Meanwhile, she was busy polluting the house with cigarette smoke.
Frantic to escape, I taught myself how to take the window screen off my bedroom window, being careful to hide the screen in my closet, slithering out through the window, (leaving my bedroom door locked, which was also forbidden) and closing the window behind me.
Once my parents were pounding on my door, demanding that I unlock it. I wasn't even there. My father threatened to take the door off the hinges if I didn't respond. That's what he eventually did.
Hunger eventually forced me to return, well after dark. It wasn't a pleasant reunion, and I had to live for several months without a bedroom door. I dragged my desk, chair, and bookcase to block the door so they would at least be slowed down if they tried to enter, giving me time to escape.
Even though I was constantly told that I was "bad," I didn't believe that. I was a good kid at school, got excellent grades, made friends, and when I was able to get outside the house, I led a relatively normal life.
I think that my poor father, who was essentially a gentle and loving soul, sometimes felt trapped between two tsunami-like personalities - Mother, and me. I'm told that my first word was not "ma-ma" or "da-da." It was "NO!"
I don't believe that my mother was capable of loving anyone but my father, and she was devastated to the core when he died at 42. She was 50. She began drinking heavily, making her absolute Hell on wheels to live with, and her drinking eventually cost her her job.
Is it any wonder that I chose an "away" university when I had the chance? Those years were VERY happy ones.