I never had a "testimony" of The Book of Mormon. I had a strong testimony that Joseph Smith Jr. was a true Prophet of God, so I "hung" my BOM testmony on that. But, I was told in the MTC that I needed to have a "testimony" of the BOM.

First of all, reading the BOM for me was like Chinese water torture. It was actually painful. The BOM is just so completely boring, repetitive, it would NOT put me to sleep. It would give me a headache. A migraine. If I read "And it came to pass" one more time, I'm gonna scream!

Parts of it were just so ridiculous, like the Jaredites and their barges with magic stones. Moroni quoted from Paul's epistles to the Corinthians and Galatians. Some dude in the BOM had some sexy girl dance for him, and he promised her half his kingdom, just like King Antiochus did in the Gospel of Matthew. I got the strong feeling that what I was reading was fiction, and I JUST COULD NOT SHAKE IT.

I was hoping on my mission I would "gain" a testimony of the BOM, but I never did. So, I would ask members, and other missionaries, "How do you know the Church is true?" and the male members would say:

"Oh, I have a beautiful wife. Great kids. A successful business/career. Why could God give me all these blessings if the Church was not true?"

And I'd ask his wife and she's say, "Oh, well, I support my husband!"

I wasn't asking the wives if they supported their husbands. I was asking them about their testimonies. They all said: "Oh, well, I support my husband."

After I got off my mission, I KNEW something was wrong with the Church, especially after the Mark Hofmann fiasco. So, I visited the polygamist groups:

*Apostolic United Brethren ("All Us Boys")
*FLDS Church
*Second Ward (Centennial Park, AZ)

I never got around to visiting Colonia LeBaron or the Church of the Lamb of God (which, at that time, was busy murdering people). I didn't visit the Kingston Group (Latter-day Church of Christ). Was planning to, but they asked me if I had any single daughters, and I said I had no children and was not married, and they never spoke to me again.

I would ask the men how they knew their group which they called "The Work" was of God. They all told me:

"Oh, well. Look at my beautiful wives and children! My business/career is thriving. Why would God give all these blessings, if the Work was not true?"

And I'd then ask their wives how THEY knew the Work was true, and all of them, without exception would say to me: "Oh, well, I support my husband!"

So, I never got a "burning in the bosom" after reading and praying about the BOM. Never. I would just get migraines, and the overwhelming feeling I was reading fiction. I convinced myself I was not "spiritual enough" and that if I only got more spiritual, the "burning in the bosom" would come. It never did.

When I asked other Mormon missionaries, they'd just roll their eyes, shake their heads, and kept walking and ignored me. Usually. I think on one occasion another missionary said: "I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon is the Word of God. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen." Then he walked away.

Yes, I did meet Warren Jeffs and his senile father in Salt Lake City, at their compound they used to have there. The father Jeffs talked about some "legal" court crap they were having with the Second Ward (Centennial Arizona) for FOUR HOURS non-stop. Warren sat there like his father was Moses on Mount Sinai. Papa Jeffs was half-senile.

Father Jeffs (forgot his first name) told me that at the second coming the FLDS faithful would gather on top of a mountain next to Short Creek (Colorado City AZ/Hillsdale UT) and Jesus would take them up into the sky and then Jesus would destroy all the Gentiles, all cities and nations would be destroyed, then Jesus would let down the Short Creekers back on the mountain, and they Short Creekers would descend and then establish the Kingdom of God on Earth. Basically, the white Short Creekers would rule over slave-Lamanites that would come up from the Yucatan penninsula. Where he "got" all this crap from I have no idea.

I said, "What about the blacks, what will happen to them?"

Papa Jeffs said: "Oh, the Negroes, I don't know what will happen to them."

Warren said: "Well, if there are any Negroes left after the Tribulation, they'll be our servants."

The fanaticism and IGNORANCE of these men was appauling.

I NOW realize that I could never get a testimony of the BOM was because the my B.S. meter went off every time I read from it. I had a "testimony" of Joseph Smith, because I wanted to believe he was a Prophet. I wanted to believe he was a Prophet because I didn't want to believe that billions were going to burn in an eternal Hell for all eternity (which is actually what the BOM teaches).

I didn't have a testimony of the Church based upon the promise of eternal banging young sexy women and girls, like most Mormon males. I didn't want to believe in an unending eternal HELL, and I thought I had to be a Mormon in order to not believe in Hell. I didn't know that many religions don't have an unending Hell in their doctrine. I was a young, idealistic, naive-as-Hell young man, who didn't understand human nature. Now I do.

Yea, I gotta say believing JS was a prophet put u off to a bad start.

Yep. Joseph Smith was always presented to me as a near-sinless heroric figure, the most honest/honorable/God-like man who ever lived save Jesus only. I swallowed the B.S. for a decade, as a convert. Like I said, I was very naive and gullible. I thought everybody was honest, like me. I came to discover, some men are evil, and Joseph Smith was NOT the most evil of men. He wasn't a Josef Stalin. He was a con-man and tail-chasing womanizing theiving lying charlatan. That's all.


jthomas Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yea, I gotta say believing JS was a prophet put u
> off to a bad start.

Yep, JS married 11 women that were already married, and many of his followers very young daughters. I am SUPER surprised he wasn't shot and thrown out a window years earlier. If he would have tried that with me,.....I woulda done worse.

Womanizers were often tarred and feathered in those days, and in 1832 the Johnson brothers got a doctor to agree to castrate him, after they found out JS was banging their teen sister, but the doctor chickened out; which is unfortunate. Joe Smith was always a womanizer, and, according to one witness, he even secretly "married" one of his own sisters (the sexiest one to be sure).


jthomas Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Yep, JS married 11 women that were already
> married, and many of his followers very young
> daughters. I am SUPER surprised he wasn't shot and
> thrown out a window years earlier. If he would
> have tried that with me,.....I woulda done worse.

My wife is dyslexic, so after we married she thought that having me read the BoM to her would be a win-win; me fulfilling my promise to read it, and her having it read to her faster than she could read it herself.

The only problem was that I could only read a few paragraphs without laughing out loud, particularly when I could see my wife out of the corner of my eye listening with rapt attention as though I were reading the very words of God.

Somewhere along the line, she concluded that my urge to laugh at the church and its proclamations were actually how I feel the Holy Ghost telling me something is true.

Therefore, my laughter is proof that the BoM is true and Joseph Smith was a prophet.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/15/2018 02:10PM by GregS.

I never really viewed the BOM as "funny". To me, reading it was about as funny as getting a tooth drilled without anesthetic. I do remember thinking "this is ABSURD" such as when Shiz got his head lopped off and he was still able to function, or the magic Jaredite stones. But, I always attributed my "rational" evaluations of the BOM as "lack of spirituality". If I was "just more spiritual" I would "get it" but unfortunately, or fortunately, I never did.


GregS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My wife is dyslexic, so after we married she
> thought that having me read the BoM to her would
> be a win-win; me fulfilling my promise to read it,
> and her having it read to her faster than she
> could read it herself.
>
> The only problem was that I could only read a few
> paragraphs without laughing out loud, particularly
> when I could see my wife out of the corner of my
> eye listening with rapt attention as though I were
> reading the very words of God.
>
> Somewhere along the line, she concluded that my
> urge to laugh at the church and its proclamations
> were actually how I feel the Holy Ghost telling me
> something is true.
>
> Therefore, my laughter is proof that the BoM is
> true and Joseph Smith was a prophet.

I definitely don't think the BoM is funny, either. My reaction to the BoM could probably be better described as a chuckle or a snicker. ;)

Regarding your "lack of spirituality", I am reminded of how inadequate I used to feel when my schoolmates in Catholic school and catechisms appeared to be so much more spiritual and believing than I was. In that environment, I was made to feel that there was something wrong with me, as opposed to what I was told to believe.

It wasn't until I was older, more exposure to a broader world, and with access to more resources that I realized that the grief I experienced was a natural reaction (from myself as well as from friends, family, and clergy) to my negative reaction to religious indoctrination.

I got as far as where it said to compare these verses to Isiah.

I think for a lot of Mormons the important thing about the Book of Mormon is its value as a cultural identifier. If you want to be explosive: it's an idol. They don't really care about the content being true, correct or accurate. On an emotional level the testimony of the Book of Mormon is a testimony about their way of life and more importantly the superiority of their tribe.

A lot of Christians are this way about the Bible. They will thump that book to no end, but have never considered the troublesome passages in a serious way.

Personally, I think its important to have a tribe--though I prefer tribes that are outward oriented in their thinking and better yet actions. So, this is a widespread human need to belong to something larger than yourself. But, it is also true that we need to mind how much power we give our tribe over our individuality.

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Book of Mormon is
TRUE!

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Joseph Smith was a true
prophet of God.

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that Russell M. Nelson is
God's true prophet on earth today.

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that as a sovereign citizen I
do not need a drivers license to "travel" in my car, . . . er, .
. my private property, on public highways.

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that the earth is flat and
the "globe-earth" theory is a lie invented by NASA.

I KNOW, beyond a shadow of a doubt that 2 + 2 = 5. And that's
how I WOULD do the math on my income-tax return, but as a
sovereign citizen I don't have to pay income taxes--just ask
Wesley Snipes!

mormons should call it a "questimony" because they are on a perpetual quest to find it, and a perpetual quest to keep it intact, and a perpetual quest to share it.

A testimony is an elusive thing for mormons you know, requires a lot of effort.