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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 11:06AM

As admins, we have begun a conversation on off topic posts as they are becoming a bit too frequent and far from the subject of Mormonism. A few are fine and add variety to the board. We just don't want the off topic posts to dominate the site. Our primary focus is to help folks recover from Mormonism. We hope to have a guideline shortly if we can figure out how to write it :-). As for now, try to limit the off topic subjects.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/16/2018 11:07AM by Eric K.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 11:23AM


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Posted by: RPackham ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 02:52PM

THANK YOU!!

I don't mind an occasional off-topic post, BUT

I find objectionable:
- links to items in the news headlines that we are going to see elsewhere that have nothing to do with Mormonism or religion (like reporting the death of some celebrity)

- questions about whether such-and-such movie is any good

- any large number of OT posts from certain posters who seem to post them several times a day (I'm sure you are aware who they are - maybe you could limit those posters to one OT post per week?)

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Posted by: carameldreams ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 07:39PM

RPackham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> THANK YOU!!
>
> I don't mind an occasional off-topic post, BUT
>
> I find objectionable:
> - links to items in the news headlines that we are
> going to see elsewhere that have nothing to do
> with Mormonism or religion (like reporting the
> death of some celebrity)
>
> - questions about whether such-and-such movie is
> any good
>
> - any large number of OT posts from certain
> posters who seem to post them several times a day
> (I'm sure you are aware who they are - maybe you
> could limit those posters to one OT post per
> week?)

You said it. Especially the celebrity deaths. Inane drivel.

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Posted by: matt ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 06:55PM

RPackham Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> THANK YOU!!
>
> I don't mind an occasional off-topic post, BUT
>
> I find objectionable:
> - links to items in the news headlines that we are
> going to see elsewhere that have nothing to do
> with Mormonism or religion (like reporting the
> death of some celebrity)
>
> - questions about whether such-and-such movie is
> any good
>
> - any large number of OT posts from certain
> posters who seem to post them several times a day
> (I'm sure you are aware who they are - maybe you
> could limit those posters to one OT post per
> week?)

The problem is that there are some posters on RFM for whom RFM is their family.

They are isolated from the TBMs and sometimes even their own family.

They share links about news stories because we are the only people they can share them with.

They ask for opinions on films/movies on RFM because they have no one else in their lives to approach for such information and opinions.

I can appreciate the point Eric K is making, however. Because too much of good thing is bad.

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Posted by: quidprostatusquo ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 03:23PM

Great idea. Here's my suggestion:

If you'd like to post a topic, keep it to the list:

A. Directly related to Mormonism (it's as obvious as pornography)
B. Indirectly related to Mormonism (build the bridge at your own risk)
C. A very timely and significant event that's not already posted by other users (volcanoes are never boring)

In all cases, please be sure not to always make everything about "you," and if you're going to use foul language, don't be a jerk about it.

One last thing: This site is anonymous. Check your ego at the door. There's no one to defend here.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 03:37PM

I don't mind off topic posts from those needing advice or support because of hardships in their lives.

Impersonal posts are a waste if they're about current news stories with no connection to anyone here and no relationship to mormonism. I especially dislike the ones attempting to sell a political agenda as the one true opinion on some topic that's covered excessively elsewhere.

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Posted by: deja vue ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 04:47PM

THANK YOU Eric! The board was/is starting to be dominated by 'off topic' posts. I no longer read the subject lines first. I read the posters name and go from there. Some seem notorious for contributing bits and pieces of junk that have nothing to do with the purpose of the BB.

Delete away.. Time to get back to the business at hand.

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Posted by: thedesertrat1 ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 04:47PM

It has been my observation for some time now that the entire site is drifting away from the main objective, that is, recovering from Mormonism. I appreciate that different people have different issues with which to deal. However I am completely in accord with ADMIN when it comes to sticking to the purpose of this site. INHO we should all be more selective in OT subjects.

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Posted by: Chicken N. Backpacks ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:20PM

In my opinion, it sounds like "Laurel", not "Yanny".


Wait. What? Off Topic?

:-) :-) :-)

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:24PM

I swear I heard 'Gary' ...!

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:34PM

I heard Yenny. Even Yanni thought it sounded like Yanni lol.

49% heard Yanni. 51% heard Laurel. :)

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Posted by: Soft Machine ( )
Date: May 17, 2018 04:25AM


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Posted by: Jonny the Smoke ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:44PM

I'd like to see no links to regular news items we can all find if we're interested enough to look....politics, celebrity deaths, etc.

Same with links to Church News, LDS Living articles, etc.....we all know where to find them if we are interested.

Also less self topping, replying to your own post, over and over, and over when no one else is interested enough to respond.

It would also be nice not see chat transcripts when people think its fun to harass the missionaries....we know how those types of chats end.

I typically skip these types of post, but I do feel its poor board etiquette and wastes bandwidth.

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:52PM

Seriously!! Is there anyone who logs onto RfM to check on the latest, breaking news? Staying up to date, with 'push' announcements (meaning the alerts are 'pushed' to you without you having to ask) simply requires signing up with the local or national news provider of your choice.

I signed up with the NYTimes and I've gotten four 'breaking news alerts' so far today. I absolutely do not need breaking news posted here on RfM, if it doesn't have any connection to mormonism or the hopeful demise of mormonism.

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Posted by: doyle18 ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 06:26PM

I agree, since sometimes you have to weed past the off topic posts that are frequently self topped by a sock puppet when people aren't responding quickly enough. Other than that, I don't mind some of the off topic stuff as there's more to life than just recovering from the cult.

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 05:45PM

I am posting here that I am saddened by the passing of Margot Kidder.

May she rest in peace.

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Posted by: Aquarius123 ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 06:25PM

What johnny the smoke said, and especially the self topping thing.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 06:26PM

Please continue to allow posts about archeology no matter where in the world they occur.

Same with DNA.

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Posted by: Badassadam1 ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 07:29PM

I am guilty of these so i will do my best to change. Don't have too many people to talk to in real life.

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Posted by: 6 iron ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 07:48PM

Only OT posts about hockey and hockey playoffs, and beer should be allowed.

After all, we want to cater to Canadian exmos, right, eh?

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Posted by: Brother Of Jerry ( )
Date: May 16, 2018 08:53PM

Hockey, schmockey. Curling. There is no greater training in humility than men with brooms, where the winners buy the beer.

Besides, curlers of both genders have really serious stones.

I hope it is kosher to put an off-topic post into a thread about off-topic posts. I think that is technically a meta hijack. :)

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Posted by: Mother Who Knows ( )
Date: May 17, 2018 05:23AM

Part of leaving the Mormon cult is losing most of your Mormon friends. I have great sympathy for those who have no one to talk to, or who have PTSD, or are sick and alone and scared.

Is not loneliness one of the things we have to deal with, in recovering from Mormonism?

Shunning, Mormon abuse, Mormon in-laws, Mormon con-artists, a Mormon spouse, how to help the children, how to deal with baptisms and weddings, what to say when a Mormon accuses us of being "offended." How to deal with Mormons harassing us in our own home, Mormons trying to ruin our Christmas, trying to ruin our happiness, trying to break up our families...this is a huge long list of social and psychological problems. Are these "off topic"?

I LOVE the science threads! Science is a weapon against cults!

Happiness and self-help are useful in recovery.

Books of all kinds give us answers and comfort. So do good, uplifting movies. Sometimes we need to escape, so I appreciate vacation suggestions and travelogs.

Yes to hockey and sports, archeology, DNA, and volcanoes!

When I first logged into RFM, the most dominant subject was masturbation. I'm glad those days are over.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: May 17, 2018 05:25AM

^^^Ditto this^^^^

:)

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Posted by: jay ( )
Date: May 17, 2018 08:09PM

Hope you enjoyed that . . . . :)

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Posted by: Badassadam1 ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 07:51PM

Mother Who Knows Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Part of leaving the Mormon cult is losing most of
> your Mormon friends. I have great sympathy for
> those who have no one to talk to, or who have
> PTSD, or are sick and alone and scared.
>
> Is not loneliness one of the things we have to
> deal with, in recovering from Mormonism?
>
> Shunning, Mormon abuse, Mormon in-laws, Mormon
> con-artists, a Mormon spouse, how to help the
> children, how to deal with baptisms and weddings,
> what to say when a Mormon accuses us of being
> "offended." How to deal with Mormons harassing us
> in our own home, Mormons trying to ruin our
> Christmas, trying to ruin our happiness, trying to
> break up our families...this is a huge long list
> of social and psychological problems. Are these
> "off topic"?
>
> I LOVE the science threads! Science is a weapon
> against cults!
>
> Happiness and self-help are useful in recovery.
>
> Books of all kinds give us answers and comfort.
> So do good, uplifting movies. Sometimes we need
> to escape, so I appreciate vacation suggestions
> and travelogs.
>
> Yes to hockey and sports, archeology, DNA, and
> volcanoes!
>
> When I first logged into RFM, the most dominant
> subject was masturbation. I'm glad those days are
> over.

I think that first paragraph should not be off topic. The main struggle from mormonism is the abuse we went through and the loneliness and ptsd we still have to go through everyday.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 17, 2018 11:08PM

An "Off Topic" section would be a welcome addition....

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Posted by: Jane Cannary ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 02:20PM

Yep a separate board for off topic subjects works well for all the other forums I frequent. They still prohibit politics even on the OT board.

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Posted by: Lethbridge Reprobate ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 02:50PM

Another forum I frequent has separate sub-sections for O/T, politics and several others. Just a thought. Maybe not possible budget wise on this forum but just a suggestion.

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Posted by: DaveinTX ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 01:43PM

Sounds like someone needs to reactivate EXMO-Social again for all the O/T conversations......

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Posted by: elderolddog ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 06:11PM

In such a setting, are the inmates allowed to call a spade a priesthood holder?

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Posted by: wondering ( )
Date: May 18, 2018 08:31PM

Although I agree with many posters that the off topic threads have been overdone, without some of them I would not be an exmo.

This site has many posters who are type A personalities and post strong opinions on their view of how to leave Mormonism. The last thing I wanted to listen to are those opinions. It is like being controlled by a tbm.

I pass over their threads still eight years later. My humble opinion is they are just as harmful and annoying as the off topic ones.

This being said, there are many reasons people come here. Some need someone like the priest holders to tell them how to think and what to believe because they haven't healed from it. Others don't want to experience those posts. There are as many stages of recovery and so many people to remove some lite posts might help. Why not limit each person to one off post a month and if they exceed that deal with that person. Even ziller posts off topic and no one complained about those. Ps I like zillers Thursday humor. Some days stupid humor keeps me sane.

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Posted by: catnip ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 01:43AM

It WAS related, however, because for a long time, various people have made reference to it, in connection with Mormonism, and as I had not seen it, I didn't understand the connection. That's why I asked. I wasn't fishing for a movie review.

Since I asked, I've gotten some answers, which were exactly what I was looking for. It wasn't really off-topic. I was LOOKING for the connection, and got some good explanations.

Granted, I DO occasionally wander off-topic, but I am trying to reform!!

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Posted by: Redneck Wonderland ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 02:38PM

Other non-religious forums I have been a member of the OT stuff was a benefit. Many friendships have lasted many years after we all lost interest in those hobbies.

The easiest solution to off topic threads is make a subforum for them. If a post gets made in the wrong location, move it to OT.

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Posted by: saucie ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 02:43PM

Redneck Wonderland Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Other non-religious forums I have been a member of
> the OT stuff was a benefit. Many friendships have
> lasted many years after we all lost interest in
> those hobbies.
>
> The easiest solution to off topic threads is make
> a subforum for them. If a post gets made in the
> wrong location, move it to OT.


a few years ago there was a sub forum for off topic topics... I think the name was exmo social or something like that. It was fun but I don't remember why it was done away with.

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Posted by: Eric K ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 03:22PM

We would need new additional admins for an off-topic board. If 2 or 3 volunteer we can do it. We are currently busy with our regular lives and adding another board is too much work for existing admins. I can set in up in a matter of minutes so it is not complex

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Posted by: Felix ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 04:20PM

Part of the reason OT posts show up here is people who have discovered the fraud and renounced Mormonism are in search of something to replace the old paradigm. They are in search of new beliefs, understanding and involvements to fill in the void left after Mormonism. Something new to give their lives purpose and meaning. Part of leaving the old behind is discovering a new way to look at things.

The concept "of one mind and one heart" is not a bad ideal to try to achieve but is very difficult for us here on this forum once we explore something outside of Mormonism. I believe it can be done though. A lot of insight and knowledge could be introduced here if people felt at liberty to share their opinions and information without being derided and ridiculed. I am open to any opinion and especially welcome those who differ with me. I like to think we are adults here and can maintain some level of civil discourse. Those who can't could be banned from discussions here.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 04:27PM

One aspect of having been a Mormon is how well rounded our interests were outside of Mormonism, reflecting back on my childhood and youth. Having a well developed sense of humor, loving and appreciating life, the arts, and the world around us was part of our growing up years and how we developed as children.

Once you exit Mormonism, there are other aspects to "Recovery from Mormonism," than some of the themes seen replayed here. Although it's new to the most recent person finding their way out, and RfM is designed for that, there are people who've been out for years longer who still find a respite of sorts here conversing with others who've experienced the downside of Mormonism and lived to tell about it.

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Posted by: Cheryl ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 04:48PM

No one should expect RfM to fill in for friends, family, social life, entertainment, education, professional training and dozens of other roles.

Recovery from mormonism means helping those who are leaving and recovering from the mormon cult. We can help with many aspects of developing personality beyond the bounds of church culture, but we can't do it all. Eventually, everyone must find their way within their own environment.

Admin can't come to our houses, buy our groceries, bring us soup and help us move. Asking them to do more than they do is unreasonable in my opinion since we're all smart competent and most of us are fully grown adults.

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: May 19, 2018 05:18PM

And yet there are many here who are never Mos, who came and stayed because of a sense of community they found here, not because they are themselves in recovery from Mormonism.

While it can't be everything to everyone, it does provide a place for people to kvetch about their problems they may be experiencing with any number of subjects. Not all of them are related to religion.

Many people have been the recipients of some very worthwhile advice, and help from others here who are able to proffer it. There is a sense of community regardless of our backgrounds.

People going through medical procedures, surgeries, etc. Bad breakups, family problems, deaths, what-have-you. One aspect of having been Mormon was it created irreparable harm to some of what should have been our closest relationships with loved ones. That has reverberations in every aspect of life for years to come.

Some of the damage Mormonism does is reversible. Some of the damage it causes is permanent.

If it wasn't there wouldn't be a need for recovery from Mormonism for years to come for ex-Mos. But from the participation here among those who've been out a long time, is proof there is.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/19/2018 05:21PM by Amyjo.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: May 22, 2018 10:02PM

Sending up to the top for those who might have missed this from Eric K (board owner).

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