I don't disagree (except that "Satan" is imaginary!).
Still, they're convenient, and they let me stash water in the fridge so it's cold, rather than the lukewarm water out of the tap (filtered or not).
At least at work, I use one bottle a day, but I drink 5-6 bottles of water. When the newly-opened one is empty, I fill it from the PUR-filtered tap, put it back in the fridge until it's cold...and repeat. One bottle a day is a little better than 5-6, right?
True. And in the creation story, the spirit (of God?) was moving over the face of the waters. So it's like a cool sci-fi flick with good and evil already preparing for war.
I think Satan is aligned with wind, too? A big wind storm took out Job's kids. For those who enjoy Lillith mythology, she is a demoness associated with a disease-bearing wind spirit. Also a screech owl.
There was a menacing, harassing 'wind demon' in the story of Solomon trying to get that temple built.
I remember thinking, "Ahh, now I get it!" when I learned that JS Jr. couldn't swim worth squat.
My ex couldn't swim either, and he refused to go on beach or other swimming excursions because he didn't want to be made fun of. If you can't DO it, avoid or prohibit it, so YOU won't be shown up.
I went swimming on a Sunday and I didn't drown or even have a close call. Apparently Stan's powers and priesthoods only apply to those who believe in him. I want my money back.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2018 02:04PM by jackman.
I live only a long golf drive to the ocean and I hadn't heard anything about Satan owning it until years after I became a mormon. Utter hogwash. I always would walk down to the beach to give my soul relief.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2018 01:06PM by rhgc.
I think that was the dumbest rule EVER for missionaries to follow. It made no sense then as it does now.
We (as mishies) actually had to show up for a ward swimming party because we not only had investigators that wanted to bring their kids for swimming, but we needed a lift. Our investigators were rightfully appalled that we were still dressed in white shirts and ties. So the family did the next best thing, they bought us lottery tickets (and I won 20 bucks~ Yes I kept my winnings).
At the ward party, the ward bishop acted as the literal gatekeeper to keep us missionaries from getting too close to the pool. So we acted like immature 19 and 20 years old and threw ice cubes at each other while running around the parking lot. When that became boring, we splashed (soaked to be truthful) the two sister missionaries (that were also barred from the pool area). Their blouses were drenched from the water that was hurled at them.
The bishop saw us too friendly and playful. He gave us time-out and we sat along the fence while baking in the sun. When the ward pool party was over, our investigators personally invited us to the beach on Sunday. Unfortunately, we declined.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/17/2018 01:16PM by messygoop.
Though highly frowned upon by our zone leader, while on my mission, my companion and I chose to attend the branch lake party. I took my shoes/socks off and waded into the lake knee deep and later that night, ended up getting bad chigger bites on my exposed legs.
I considered that God's curse to me for being disobedient.
It is funny that the MIssionary handbook states not to go swimming or on private boats. However, commercial boats such as ferries were not off limits. So, Satan is a respecter of the commercial water craft. There must be a law written in heaven that the great deceiver cannot would water craft that is operated by government or commercially.
And I have to ask. What did missionaries do in the 1800’s when They had to depart for their mission in some foreign land. They were obliged to travel by ship. However did they manage? Maybe they made Satan take a “time out” while they traveled
It's apocryphal, but I was told in the Pacific Ocean Island missions, the missionaries would go from island to island on the surfboards they had to buy for the mission, just like I had to buy a sombrero, a guitar and a sarape...
I had totally forgotten that Satan owns all the water! Thanks for the laugh guys. Although I do remember swimming on the mission at least a couple of times. How lucky am I to still be alive through that!
Remember that this was one of those revelations JS had to provide for his own convenience. He and his buddies got stuck up the creek (literally) and he didn't want to tire himself by rowing a canoe down the river like his buddies ended up doing. So he got this revelation- quelle surprise! that devolved into him getting to ride in a carriage back to his house.
Amazing how all these revelations happened to him and nobody else...
Recently the water at Bryce Canyon National Park was contaminated by prairie dogs pooping around the water source. Perhaps Satan has extended his dominion to prairie dogs.
On my mission, on a very warm day, three sisters and I wadded chest deep into a body of water and performed mock baptisms on each other. None perished.
Cleon Skousen said that in the Last Days, planes wouldn't be able to fly over the evil, Satanic ocean water and thus America would be isolated from other lands. I stupidly believed him, and thought I would see it in my lifetime.
Josephina Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > Cleon Skousen said that in the Last Days, planes > wouldn't be able to fly over the evil, Satanic > ocean water and thus America would be isolated > from other lands.
Cleon Skousen was a paranoid nutjob ... he actually was medically delusional. Very probably on the borderline of clinical insanity.
She has taken upon herself to check the chemical balance in our patio hot tub. She assured me today that she put in just the right chemical balance that was guaranteed to keep Stan out of our hot tub.
Must have done the trick. The knotted muscles in my back relaxed, and DH enjoyed a potent weed cigarette (heck, it's out on our patio, so there is plenty of air to waft the eau de weed away) and we had a very pleasant soak.
Apparently Stan doesn't concern himself with patio hot tubs.