High Council Sunday and we were taught from the pulpit, that you have to ask "Inspired Questions" to get honest answers. I kid you not. For 70 years I have been asking questions to get inspiration. I have been doing it wrong. 14 years schooling after high school.Thousands of hours in post graduate work and training. How would I have known, I was not being taught how to ask the right questions.

Does anyone know in their right mind how to ask inspired questions? I do not have a clue and no ideas were given.

As an aside the 40 people Elders Group dynamics is not going well. Everyone sitting in a circle. Same few speaking and one of the members tried to get the members to share what is happening in their lives. He said he doesn't always say daily prayers or read scriptures daily and then wanted others to share their stories. Went over like a lead balloon. Left him high and dry and now we know what he is not doing!!!!

I stayed because Pres Nelson is coming to town in three weeks and I wanted to get a ticket to attend in person. You had to get to clerks office right after 3 hour block as each ward was not assigned enough tickets. I did get a ticket. Now I want to see him and his wife talk and will report back. Probably pay your tithing!!!!! I am more interested to see how Wendy Nelson presents herself. Everyone is excited she is coming because she is from Alberta.

I'll give you $20 (American!) to hold up a sign during Nelson's speech that says, "$Follow the Profit$!"

No, really, I will! :)

Heck, I'll send you some pocket change to "seed" the tip cup. $25 more if you ask him if he plans to tithe the tip cup proceeds.

Regular question: Is the book of mormon true?

Regular answer: thinking to themselves....."I'm getting nothing here, nope, not a thing. Better ask again tomorrow."

Inspired question: Why do I need the book of mormon to be true?

Inspired answer: I don't! I don't need a sign from god, therefore it must be true! Thank god!

I'll hold a sign that says "i paid tithing and i got more poor."

Inspired question:

"My wife has orgasms from the vibration of the power mower handle. Is it OK for me to let her keep mowing the lawn?"

That would liven up the meeting. It would probably end the meeting too.


See Garfunkel and Oates song Go Kart Racing
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMKyKS2LGyI

Of course, the individual has to ask the “Inspired Questions.” How else can the church deflect sincere, legitimate, common questions folks have about Mormonism?

Why did Joseph Smith fool around with other men’s wives? “No, Boner, that’s not inspired, it makes Joseph look bad!”

How can the Book of Mormon be a literal New World History? “Boner, that’s not inspired, it sounds anti-Mormon.”

Okay, just exactly what is anti-Mormon literature? “Boner, you’re a wanker! Anti-Mormon literature is not inspired. It transpires to steal testimonies—ergo—tithing money. An inspired question would be, ‘how do we supress and control information that is damaging to the church?’ Now, that’s inspired!”

Inspired questions:

Isn't it marvelous how inspired President Nelson is?

Wasn't Joseph Smith noble and heroic in the face of adversity?

Why does paying a full tithe bring so many blessings that we stand all amazed?

How did Brigham find the amazing strength he had to lead the saints to Utah?




So basically, you ask the questions in a way that makes the church sound wonderful. It only takes a smattering or inspiration to pull it off though. Being sycophantic, as so many Mormons are, helps immensely.

"What exactly are Book of Mormon reel-in-tents?"

"Can I get them at Wal-Mart?"

Hey, all you underlings, we know how to be inspired. You do not.

That's why my life turned out so great. I listened to them.

I have inspired (i.e. approved) questions:

How can I be more obedient to my leaders?

Am I correct in assuming that unanswered questions are uninspired questions?

Please tell me what to do next, I beg you

Any question for which a Magic 8 Ball gives a valid answer.

Some questions are just not useful. Thus they are not inspired.

You should know this without having to have someone tell you this. This shows that you have sinned and aren't worthy.

Inspired questions are questions that get more people into the church and paying tithing.

An uninspired question goes like this: How did all those animals and people live in those submarines for a whole year without anyone being killed or pooped on.

Because it doesn't ask-
Mormons don't ask-
The CORRECT questions.

Even if it (they do) does
It won't/ can't admit it
Because it doesn't know the difference between inspiration, revelation, emotions, feelings, thoughts, doubt, gout, the steal small voice...

It's so happy to share the FALSE-(new found) "truth" [about nonsense] with EVERYBODY - but NOBODY (will listen) - that they forget what it {LIFE} is all about.

Jesus Christ - LOVE

So . . . the Mormon God knows everything, including what's in your heart, but if you don't ask the right question in the right way, you are on your own. He's playing a game that requires you to figure out how to ask just right, or He just won't answer. What a charming guy.

I tried praying for answers, sincerely from my teen years until I left the church in my 30s. I even tried starving (fasting), and tried to do everything He wanted me to do. It didn't work. Still nothing. I guess I didn't play the mind game correctly.

On the other hand, Google does a pretty good job of predicting my questions before I even have a chance to type them out. And then it takes seconds to provide answers. LOTS of answers.

So which God will my put my trust in? I'll go with the one who can answer my question before I even have a chance to finish typing it.
;)



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/24/2018 01:34AM by imaworkinonit.

My brother and i were having a discussion about this yesterday. He believes that sometimes the holy ghost(derp) just decides not to provide the confirmation of the spirit.

icanseethelight Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My brother and i were having a discussion about
> this yesterday. He believes that sometimes the
> holy ghost(derp) just decides not to provide the
> confirmation of the spirit.

Fickle, arbitrary Holy Spirits.
How nice.

The MormonCult's what to think,say and do list (and not a Honey list) is so damn long and so changeable and so full of half-truths and outright lies that only the BofM is its rival.

One day a member needs long-john garments, next day you better trim them down, one day a member needs at least three wives to be respectable, next day you better be on your way to Mexico, one day ole Joey is the big boss in town, even running for President of the United States, next day he is in jail for treason because he didn't like what a certain printing press printed.......

and on and on it goes. Today's correct Mormon answers???.....well, don't put your money on them being recognizable tomorrow.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 05/27/2018 01:33PM by presleynfactsrock.