Date: June 10, 2018 02:56PM
My last aunt and last family member of that generation, besides my mother, died on May 31st so the subject came up with my mother about her memorial when her time comes. I'm her executor so I told her that when we have her memorial (no funeral) it will be difficult to be near my niece who is very rude and dismissive towards me at every family function. When Mom dies I'm going to be very sad and tender and don't want to even see this niece.
My mom is so great! She said, "Don't tell them I died. They don't come to see me. They don't care anything about me except when they will be getting their inheritance. I don't even care about a memorial. Those that care about me have been visiting me now, while I'm alive. Just bury me and go on a vacation." She has one Mormon friend who visits her regularly and she would like me to tell her but that's the only person she has directed to tell that she has died.
Knowing Mom's wishes makes this easier but it will be the death knoll on any remaining family relationship with my sister and her brood. There isn't much of a relationship now but my sister will love playing the victim.
I'm thinking of just putting the statement "no memorial as per her request" in her obit and releasing it to the newspapers as I drive out of town on my vacation.
Is this feasible/appropriate?