Date: June 13, 2018 01:05AM
Since it’s been a while since the first presidency came out with something truly prophetic, I have an idea for a new loyalty test. Something that solves the problem of the temple ceremony being all over the Internet. Since any schmuck with a smart phone can sneak past the sentinels, there should be an extra test. This is where temple anal bleaching comes in.
It’s drastic enough to be a sacrifice and circumcision is already taken, but it’s plenty prophetic enough. Plus, Mormons already know their shit doesn’t stink so they would appreciate the confirmation. What would Joseph have seen if Moroni had turned around? A shining bung hole, of course. Brighter than the noon day sun.
So, I propose adding the sign of the moon, to be presented to the lord through the veil, as a final test to enter the Celestial Kingdom.