I weigh in at 128 at 5 ft 4 and I’d like to lose at least 20 lbs by the end of the year. I have a really hard time being self-motivated because of some issues with depression/social anxiety (partly because of my weight) but I’m determined to get myself healthy and under control. I’m looking for some sort of weight loss support group in the SL area that meets weekly and maybe even does exercise or meal plans together. Do you know of any? I’ve Googled around, but I can’t find what I’m looking for.

Your current Body Mass Index is 22, well within normal weight range. If you lost 20 pounds, you'd be bordering on underweight, and any more weight loss, and you'd definitely be underweight.

Muscle tone might be a problem, in which case join a fitness center. Body image might be a problem, in which case counseling. Perhaps others will have suggestions on how to find a counselor.

You are not overweight.

If you want to decrease your size, you can exercise more. Since muscle takes up less space than fat, you will shrink. Because muscle weighs more than fat, your weight won't change much.

I was your same height and weight (I'm female). I had just had a baby. I started dancing again, because I love to dance, and worked up to dancing 2 hours, 5 days a week. I went down 3 sizes! People commented on how great I looked, but my motive was only to dance. I did not eat less, because I needed energy for all that dancing. I didn't weigh myself, until 4 months later, thinking I must have lost at least 20 pounds. The scales showed that I had lost only 2 pounds. I was devastated, and started to cry, right there on the scales. One of the dance instructors came up to me, and said, "Why are you upset? Think of how you look! Think of what you can do, and how you feel! You are in great shape!"

Being in shape is what it's all about. How much you weigh, or how you look (I have wrinkles now) is not as important as having energy and good health.

Find something you love to do! People who try to go to the gym and sweat, and hate every minute of it, don't have as much success as people who enjoy their exercise and environment. I could never go to "Curves" in Holladay, for example, in that little, stinky room, and handle the machines that were covered with other people's sweat. It was boring and painful, but my cousin loves her's in Provo. This doesn't make me a bad person, or a lazy person. I just didn't like it.

When we moved away from the dance place, I would ski in the winter and hike and mountain bike in the summer, with my children, outdoors. I lived for this! Are you close to one of the canyons? Tanner park? Liberty, Sugar House, Red Butte--there are lots of nice parks in the SLC area. I like walking in the snow, but not when it's colder than 28 degrees. Steiner Aquatics by the U, Holladay Lion's Club, The Sports Mall in Murray, have water aerobics classes, arthritis classes, and adult lap-swimming, and these are nice, clean pools.

Find your own bliss! My busy daughter loves her elliptical machine, which is set up in the basement, in front of a TV, to keep her interest. It's quicker than going to the gym. She is lifting kids and bags of garden soil, doing heavy cleaning, walking the kids to and from school, so her activity is woven into her life.

If you keep physically fit, you can do whatever is required of you. A friend of mine does nothing but yoga (1/2 hour every day) and housework for exercise, yet she is able to run circles around her sedentary husband (the guy with the muscles) on vacations.

We are all looking for THE ONE complete answer. Businesses make money with pre-made Nutrisystem or Weight Watcher foods, instant "energy shakes", etc--all of which are not healthy. (I won't go into why, but it's true.)

If there's one ultimate answer is to have variety in your foods, variety in your exercise, and ENJOY it!

My advice to get started:

1. See a PROFESSIONAL nutritionist.

You need an individualized eating plan, because everyone is different. My daughter and I both had learning sessions with a nutritionist at St. Mark's hospital. Salt Lake Clinic has a Wellness program. Most hospitals have staff nutritionists. You will pay money for this (most health insurance doesn't cover it), but you will be getting the latest FACTS, and not a sales hype for the latest food-fad. Knowledge is power. You will be in control over what you put into your mouth. This helps people with eating disorders, too.

2) Find your own exercise "bliss."

Walking is the No.1 best exercise! Walking gives you the bonus of cheering you up! If you love nature and the outdoors, then get out there! I used to hike with my dog. My dog would pester me, and wouldn't allow me to be lazy and skip our daily walk. I love yoga. The stretches help keep my body fit for the strenuous sports activities. Yoga eases my anxiety. Try that stretching program (Esmonde?) on PBS.

If you want to join a gym join a gym that's airy and clean, and close by. Wear fun workout clothes. Let the music and the people energize you. Learn the weights, through training sessions. Weights don't bulk you up, if done right. Personal trainers are excellent in keeping you motivated, and they can help you with your low self-esteem. That costs money, but is worth it, and you only need occasional sessions, to tweak your workout as you get more and more fit.

Sorry to not give you a quick, one-size-fits-all answer. Variety (cross-training and eating a varied menu) is always a little more complicated, but it is more interesting, flexible, and successful.

3) Get a counselor or therapist, like Brother of Jerry suggests.
You write that you have depression and social anxiety. A good, not-Mormon therapist can help you with this. This is interconnected with your poor body-image. Some people overeat when they are sad and anxious. Depressed people are too depressed to exercise. They give up.

I have been where you are, and I know a lot of people who have been there, too. I've told you about some of the successes! You can succeed, with help, with knowledge, and on your own, and with the support of others. There is a group, "Overeaters Anonymous" that helped one of my friends, who thought she was a compulsive binge-eater. Personally, I found support groups to be depressing and time-consiming, and they didn't help at all. Some ex-Mormon friends hated the groups, because of their bad experiences with the Mormon church. They dreaded the weekly weigh-in's, and felt intimidated with having someone strictly monitor your eating. They also didn't like the weekly "testimonies" of people's eating experiences. The focus is too much on eating.

See why it's so individual? There are so many great choices. If you don't like one method, try another. Keep doing what's fun, and if it isn't, move on to something else. There is no "failure." See the up-side. You will make new friends, have new experiences, learn new things.

^^^^ I agree with everyone. There's no quick fix.

Have fun. Start with the exercise. Go out and walk, this evening, and enjoy the cool air and the sunset. Walking, and all exercising, helps with depression, social anxiety, and low self-esteem. Aerobic exercise that increases your heart rate releases endorphins, which are "feel-good chemicals"

Exercise also decreases your appetite, for an hour or two afterwards.

Exercise keeps your body in fat-burning mode for even longer afterwards, and even while you sleep. The more muscle tissue you have, the more fat you burn, so weight training is good to add to the aerobics. Women just to lighter weights and more reps than men. Men build bulk muscle mass because of their hormones, and women really don't have to worry about bulking up. (A lot of women body-builders take enhancing drugs and hormones, and spend many hours a day at the gym, tediously working on specific muscle groups.)

Exercise is a win-win.

You seem concerned with your appearance. Fit is the new sexy, and you really can just look at some people, and see that they exercise and eat right. This can't be faked. You really do have to do the work.

See a licenced nutrition expert! Good nutrition and whole foods and organic foods and vitamins have been overpowered by big business, and MLM scams. This is unfortunate, because healthy eating is not a hoax! Like the diet hoaxes, and like the Mormon hoax, you need to learn more, and distinguish the real from the scams. I went to the eye doctor for my annual eye exam, and he said my glasses are too strong for me, and that I don't need them anymore. My vision is the type that usually gets a little bit worse, over the years. I had been hooked on carrot juice for the last 3 years, and probably drink way too much of it, like Mormons drink soda pop, but it's tastier, and has less sugar than fruit juice. My eye doctor said that's probably the reason my eyesight has improved.

Take your vitamins. Most people in America are low in Vitamin D and also vitamin B12. Lack of these vitamins can cause depression. Really.