My ex is still active in this congregation. My problem started back in 2008 when he began breaking into my house carrying on various acts. We share a son. He broke into my house and dropped grapes, one at a time, down the walk way, through my kitchen, into the dining room, into the bedroom. On the bed stand was a copy of the Grapes of Wrath and he ran a line to bed stand. I had been reading it for geography class. I dealt with several of these break in incidences and just always avoided him.

I went to leave the state, and the stalking incidences with him repeated. He is actively Mormon. This time he broke into my Facebook account and began misconstruing events in my life and retelling them around his congregation. The main offense was that I didn't vote for Trump and went to a domestic violence shelter when I lived with my ex. He claimed this endangered my son and I was a horrible person for having dated my ex and going to a DV shelter.It is grossly unethical. This, he claimed, I caused to happen to myself or some other idiocy when I had a #MeToo hashtag on my Facebook. He was slut shaming me for dating an abuser, and not shaming the abuser. ALRIGHT... He found this out STALKING my Facebook that I had removed him from years ago after he posted that it was a mistake to give women the right to vote, and that is where all the things in the relationship between men and women went wrong. Well, he got on it and started doxxing from political views he didn't like such as watching a Martin Luther King, Jr video, watching a video on feminism, and so on. After he did that, I got stalked by his congregation.

At one point they informed me that the problem was my jealous nature and this had to do with not getting on with another one of their members who seeming had a hard time handling that my husband wasn't going to talk to her. She was friends with a man who was constantly hitting on me and giving me his number when he was married, and his teenage son was trying to get nude photos of me from my window at night. The kid was showing photos of my room that he had snapped and the the adults--these two witnesses-- I swear--would constantly give unsolicited parenting advice to me even though their kids had drug issues and a humorous crush problem that wasn't legal. (I understand he is just a kid and doesn't know it is a crime, but this was the level of utter nonsense). They are all LDS. I am not kidding. I accidentally called the cops on him because I did not know it was this teen, and he was attempting to open my window and stick his camera in it to catch me undressing. The female who spread these story all around her church threw a tantrum on me over looks when I took my son swimming. She refused to take all the kids swimming. I didn't care for her comments--so we waited 4 hours for her to leave to pool. She went swimming twice and started throwing a tantrum at the pool, and accused me of not caring about my kid because I read books at the pool, and desiring to look like her because she knew she must be prettier. She started hyper ventilating. She turned her butt to me and claimed I must just want to look like her, it was so amazing--I am not trying to be mean--but it wasn't, and I left with my kid. She went around LDS church claiming I had a jealous nature because I didn't like her after that incident and many when she constantly ran around with abusers in the neighborhood. At the time, she was with a guy whose wife was in a DV shelter, and she was bragging that guys loved her more and the guy she was with also gave me his number; I tossed it out because he was married. Another time this same individual claimed I was judgmental and mean because I did not get on with yet another LDS member who turned on hardcore pornography in the night and open his windows and masturbated in front of me the first day that I moved to the neighborhood. I DO NOT LIE. I was moving my belongings in my house and he played sex videos to me deliberately and was masterbating without the other person's consent.He did not ask if I wanted to be involved with this; I did not even know him.(It is illegal). He looked at me and pulled this stunt on me at night apparently marking out that this is how he treats women and I should be fine with it. I'm supposed to just be cool with it. BLEH>...disgusting! Stated again, we are a married couple and he played hardcore porn to another man's wife and then blamed her for not liking him! All of them LDS....Apparently, they told these stories to their bishop, and the bishop never bothered to follow up and ask why I had no serious relationship with any of them and actively avoided several of them. I honestly couldn't stand living with them because they would make sexual advances at the same time that they were emotionally abusing me. My day was terrible lots of days, which they claimed was proof I am mean! The church authority just simply didn't ask. (If people don't get along, generally speaking, you ask if you are interested, but it is also none of your business why I don't like someone or maybe I just avoid you and don't have a vendetta.) He let the guy breaking into my house character witness his own victim, then he allowed the guy trying to cheat on his wife character witness himself, and so on. It was so hypocritical that it deserved an award.

Well, they start shunning me claiming that I was just jealous.The argument went that the problem was not abusive men or men who cheat or anyone who cheats, but jealous spouses who are upset when they are cheated on. They repeated this idiotic nonsense to me for two years every so often. Always defending their members when they hadn't been accused of anything, and claiming that their members needed to be defended over and over. The members technically were committing crimes at the time, most. They showed up in my mother's driveway threatening me on one occasion.

Regardless, they have been showing up at my work place, my house, following my car, spreading stories around for years. I have filed multiple police reports in different places that I have lived in the last two years over having their downright unethical and abusive members show up "punishing me" while defending this kind of immoral, sexually abusive, crap. Honestly, it was just flat out sexual abuse, and the abusers were permitted over and over again to gain a church support network without ever having anyone in a position of authority contact the victim. They were just allowing them to go in there and tell one sided stories, arguable immoral from the get go, and they weren't correcting them in any fashion whatsoever with this church. They were claiming that the problem isn't sexually abusing people and victims getting angry, but it is people who aren't sweet enough to the sexual abusers or otherwise. JUST RIDICULOUS. Needless to say, but wrath is a sin (stalking I would consider wrath). Adultery is a sin. Lust is a sin. Vanity is a sin. Christianity earnestly does not teach that you can you stalk and sexually abuse people and blame them. At one point, they claimed I caused it to happen to myself because of a car radio--when they were stalking my car I used to pay the radio on the way to get my daughter or to the supermarket, and they claimed it was seducing men for attention. AGAIN RIDICULOUS.

Has anyone else had this kind of problem, and what did you do to get rid of them? When I deal with them defending these people, I feel disgust. I've spent days utterly disgusted and violated, but beyond that, they stick like glue.I didn't go out of my house for much of a year because they show up where I am and the completely lunacy continues; they merely make up any fiction and abuse claiming they are superior without a shred of evidence to prove superior anything. I have been trying to get rid of them for years because who could freaking stand another minute of the ridiculous stupidity, immorality, emotionally abusive nonsense that you can do anything you feel like because you feel like it rubbish, and I have not succeeded with them in any regard.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 06/21/2018 07:45PM by raven.

I read it all.

I am speechless/writeless...

Have you tried to get a police restraining order on these "people" who are following you around, and showing up to harass you?

The police might have some good advice for you.

I was a single divorced woman in the Mormon church for many years, and I believe every work you write! I lived in a "good" neighborhood and ward. Men thought they were "God's gift to women", and treaded is singles, and some married friends (and probably many more women who never told about it) like their personal herd of victims. The stake president's counselor was a respected MD, and he was one of the worst offenders. Another was our bishop, and his ugly pervert son. The father hit on a married neighbor, and on me. He was a repulsive little weasel, and I told him so. He spread gossip about me in the ward. My morals were impecable, BTW, and I needed my good reputation for my friendships, for the school board, and for my career. The sleasy bishop is not a Seventies. I could fill pages of stories, of what happened to me, from the time my husband went inactive, and left me with those wolves, without a husband there to protect me, through our divorce, which seemed like a license for Mormon men to hit on me. Non mormon men, such as work colleagues and fellow volunteers in the schools, did NOT accost me. They had respect for me and for my children.

As long as you think of these thugs as a "gang", you will be too frightened and intimidated to help yourself. Mormon bullies are just as cowardly as any bullies. They hang out in groups of two or three or more. I had groups bang on my door late at night, when my lights were out, and they would keep on banging, until I shouted at them through the door, that I was calling the police. They knew I lived all alone at the time.

Make a list of each individual, and take them on, one at a time. In my case, some were worse than others. The worst bully would break into our house, while I was at church playing the organ, and throw my son out of bed, kick him on the floor, shove him around the room, force him to get dressed, and drag him to church. I did research on this man, and he was involved in several people being killed, because he was negligent in his work, which was dangerous. Is this crook in jail? No, he was made a mission president.

Never count on the church or church leaders to help you face down a Mormon male criminal! Rely on the police, or take care of them yourself. Be careful, though.

Report sexual misconduct. It's your civic duty. I'll bet your neighbor has done that to many, many other women.

On your list will be some individuals that can't be stopped. Some are too wealthy to sue, as they can pay attorneys to draw out lawsuits, indefinitely. One high tithe=payer in my ward was a proven pedophile, and was molesting kids in the Primary. Some other mothers and I got together, and showed the bishop a newspaper article about the guy, and told the childrens' stories to the bishop. My story was how he would put little kids over his knee, pull down their pants, and spank them, in his Primary class. Enough kids told me, and I believed them. The bishop released the pedophile, but the next bishop let him teach Primary again. My friends had him released, but when I resigned, he was back teaching again, with yet another new bishop.

I was particularly afraid of one very large man, that was particularly dishonest, and behaved like a Mafia goon. He beat his children. I caught this thug in the act of carrying my son out of our house! He didn't know I was home. I told him to stop, he argued with me, and would not put my son down. My son was crying. I screamed at him, that he was trespassing, and he was abusing my child (he was 12), and that if he didn't leave immediately, I was calling the police. He ran out of there like a coward. I had no idea that he already had a police record! He is still around, and he and his wife shun me, and look past me, like I'm not even there. They tried to spread gossip, but I have a high-profile job, a lot of relatives in the community, and people know I'm a good person. Now, I'm safer, because my sons and sons-in-law live a block away, and are strong and athletic. One is an attorney.

Even if you can't find some kind of "clout", you can get an attorney, and threaten to sue everyone's ass, legally! It's fun to see grown Mormon men scurry like rats into the nearest hole!

You must resign! Quitting the cult, completely, put me into a different group of people. I no longer cared about them. They couldn't manipulate me. They couldn't get into my life. They couldn't even have a conversation with me. I have nothing to do with them. It does hurt me and make me angry to see them continue to abuse others--but at least my children and I aren't their victims, anymore.

Keep a copy of your letter of resignation by the door. My letter explains exactly why I left the cult, and tells about how the BOM and the Book of Abraham have been disproven, and a lot of other Truths. I even gave a copy to the deacons, who still insisted on coming to try to collect fast offerings.

Put up a "NO SOLICITORS" sign.

Some people on RFM have had restraining orders for ALL Mormons--I don't know if this is possible, but it is worth looking into.

An ex-Mormon friend of mine who lives alone had a surveillance system installed, with a camera at her front door. She said it was not expensive, in the perspective of how much tithing money she had paid to the Mormon cult.

My sons were in their early teens when we went inactive, and my daughters were still little girls. My sons had to throw Mormon men out of our house--twice! The other time, it was three men in the stake presidency, who didn't like the fact that I was too sick to continue playing the organ for the ward and the stake. I had asked for a leave of absence from my calling, while I underwent some painful hospital treatments. They told me to continue, even thought I was very ill, and that God would make me well enough to do it. Then, they threatened that if I quit, God would make me SICKER. They also said that my children would fail in life, if I didn't attend and set a good example. My baby nephew was in my arms, and he started to cry loudly, and my oldest son said, "The baby senses the presence of EVIL! We did not invite you men here. You must leave, right now!"

Two neighbors trying to recuit for a "gospel essentials class for inactives", maligned me and lied about me, right in front of my children. My younger son said, "This conversation is over." I was crying, and was speechless, and nobody else knew what to say, either. We all stood up and walked to the front door, and opened it. The men smiled started to say, "Well, if you change your mind or if there's anything you need...." I said, "You need to GO, and not come back."

Sorry to write so much, but I hope these examples have helped you. It is OK to be assertive. There are books written on how to be assertive. I had to take assertiveness classes in business school.

The Mormons have no authority over you. They have no authority from God. Would Jesus behave this way? Would anyone who took Jesus seriously act this way? Mormonism is an evil cult. My son was right.

This type of harassment did not stop, until I formally resigned, and included my minor children in the resignation, also. Resigning got the bullies out of our life!

Thank you for replying. It sounds like you have had a similar ordeal. I think I will take your suggestion about installing a camera. I've filed police reports. At first, they were resigned that a congregation would do it, but after enough with this group, they have been much more supportive. I am hoping for a restraining order because it has gone on for years and doesn't seem like they retire the offense. This is so sad that people should have to experience this. When they try to save anyone, they take anyone, and the problem is some of these members have serious criminal psychology. I wish they would understand a better screening process for these sexual abusers and child abusers. It is certainly a cult. Sexual abuse is such a violation that no one, regardless, should experience it. To see this trauma happen to young children too is really horrendous. They have a process of removing intellectuals and/or just general people who study and retaining these members with these ethics issues. It makes no sense!

When I was in, I had the impression that cult members were perfect. After reading this, I have a new perspective. Thank you.

I lived 13 years in Utah and did not know it was a cult. I had gone to services with people and never recognized the entire area was a cult until the abuse started. I thought it was religion with a few odd beliefs that were in the past. Then I thought it seemed to have issues with women's rights and some fascist teachings that were not very good. Time went on and I realized there was so much abuse and thought it was limited to the male orientation. 10 years later, I started realizing that something was seriously wrong when the physical and sexual abuse started mixing with an unwillingness to listen to victims and a pride in that people could get away with it. The males around me started getting very arrogant and bragging that they could get away anything (sexual and physical), and women kept getting shot around my area, and I knew at that point that this was a serious problem. It always went about to decide not if it happened, but if the woman was "worthwhile," and it was a dead give away that this was corruption and not logical. It took me 10 years to understand it was a cult; that sounds bad because many go in and they understand that it is a cult from the start, but some of my friends and family are Mormon, and it would never have occurred to me that that could be because the people who I lived with were in that church and you love your family, friends, and the people who you live with. If some of my family had not been involved in it, I would have picked it up faster that that was the case. We had so many incidences in the neighborhood, it became inescapable. We had one incident and the little girls from on of the houses down came running into my house, and the father had pulled a gun on them and he was holding it to the mother's head. It was just like "Okay, this is Friday! On Saturday, there will be some other chaos just like this! Everyday something!"



Edited 6 time(s). Last edit at 06/22/2018 01:17PM by raven.

My story is much like the others here. I divorced my abusive tbm ex, and I can tell you, it is like open season for divorced women. Many church men and women act like they effing own you.And they will side with the abusive ex, because he is tbm and you're inactive by this time, so you would have to be evil and have to be jerked around by them. One time when I had a van full of missionaries and tbms honking and screaming at me to open the gate, and I called 911. The cops came and obviously had a come to Jesus talk with them. They did not return, but I was not hanging around for anyone to start again. I moved 45 minutes away and was bothered no more. (All this after strange things happened like an ice pick in my car radiator, electricity line cut which ruined all the food I had in a big freezer in storage outside, the light bulb for my porch painted black (wouldn't it have been easier to take the bulb out?), so on and on.It had to be them because that harassment stopped abruptly after law enforcement was involved. How are they "worthy" people? The police can work wonders in cases like this.

Yeah, the bizarre behavior is so disturbing. Thank goodness it stopped for you. We have relocated a few times and had problems with them. They have a tenacity about them which is surprising considering that it supposed to be a Christian doctrine, but their members don't reflect Jesus' poise.

Luke 6:27
But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,


1 Thessalonians 5:15
Make sure that no one repays evil for evil. Always pursue what is good for one another and for all people.

It is very interesting because it is not doctrinal. Their behaviors are rogue in any conceivable way. There is much to dispute in the Bible in terms of human rights and the likelihood of some of the myths, but these people don't follow Christian ethics. Christian ethics is the viable part that is worth retaining; they don't follow the good part. If you don't follow the good part, what is left?

Aquarius, that harassment is really terrible. I'm glad that you finally got away from them.

summer Wrote:
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> Aquarius, that harassment is really terrible. I'm
> glad that you finally got away from them.


Summer, and that was back in 98!! And, after calling in the po-po, then resigning, many years of not being bothered by them at all. Wow! I just wonder how that type of thing could ever "bring anyone back to the fold." Idiots.

If you can move once again, I would do so. Move to a place where Mormons are few in number.

If you can't, continue to file police reports where you really need to, but other than that, I would just "ghost" the people who are following you. Pretend that they are not there, that you don't notice them at all, or better yet, that you do not remember them at all.

Turn your attention instead to the many nice people in this world. Smile at them and engage with them. Converse with them, tell jokes, and laugh.

When your nervous system has been wired to identify and respond to high conflict/high drama situations, people who are far better for you might be right under your nose and you won't see it. Those friendly people might seem boring to you at first. Seek out those low conflict/low drama people. They will help to bring you peace.

That is good advice. Much of the problem that I had was in being alarmed by run ins by them. It is true that there are so many good people in the world and better things to set your mind towards. Thank you for responding.

And Raven, if you haven't already resigned from the church (along with your minor children,) I would do so right away. That might help.

These stories are really eye opening. I have had somewhat similar experiences that fell on deaf ears. I hate my family.

I have family problems due to religion too and other reasons. My mother didn't agree with religion, but she didn't want to make a fuss about it because it wasn't helpful to her agenda, so she would just fake it and go to services occasionally when it suited her. In my family, my problems didn't matter in terms of how I felt about anything. What mattered was if I could be helpful in some way to an agenda. I avoid being too involved because I have learned that it turns to chaos. It is sad when you don't have a support system and you go through this though. I understand that. It is another pain. I don't understand how families can shun or disown their kids because something looks bad for them or whatever but people do what they do. If you have a family like that, it is because you are in the role to do something for them so they see you as obligated to make them look good in society and your needs are not the essential factor. I learned not to go to my family for emotional support in anyway because I was raised to be successful and that meant personal failure was not an option. It was good in the sense that I never failed academically or in any endeavor that I personally undertook, but it was impersonal. It was not about feelings in any way whatsoever and my family abuses if I express illness, needs, or anything other than accomplishing. For me that turned to trouble because I learned to repress everything and accomplish and then I ended up being an accomplished female in an LDS neighborhood that didn't think women should out accomplish men, so that didn't help me feel good about myself. LOL

But I understand that you feel like you hate your family because I felt like that some days. These cults intentionally turn family members against each other. Mormonism, in my experience, teaches that you have to obey the church regardless. It becomes forcing people to fit into a particular box and if you don't, you get abused. If you dress differently, you think a little different, ect, you can end up having a problem if you are too open minded or you question too much. Particularly, if you question things. If someone who out ranks you tells you to do something, you do it regardless of whether it has any merit. I found this impossible as a female because any old bum out ranks you because he is male. Minors catcalling out ranked me as a woman. The more education you accomplish the less impressive the system becomes because the authorities about you are of a less scholastic nature (*cough*). It is so fear oriented too that the church giving your family a hard time pressures them to not support their kids; they don't want their stuff getting broke. My family was not so much in agreement with religion so much as they did not want to be bothered with religious people causing problems, so if bad things were happening in relation to this, it was going to hassle them so that was what mattered. My mother would downright plot wicked punishments if she thought something was going to reflect badly on her. Heaven help you; you would need serious help by the time you got out of all traps. LOL A lot of the abuse here overlaps with narcissistic abuse. I found those materials helpful if you have a family similar.

Truly, your education exceeds the boundaries that you are allowed to fit into, and the people around you don't change for your personal growth. The people around me didn't understand what I was talking about, and they related it back to what they understood. What they understood was so base, it was frightening. If you have an institution that doesn't communicate properly with people based on silliness (someone isn't going to church, someone said something in the gossip network, someone wore the wrong shirt) this is the kind of thing that happens because they essentially have trials without law degrees and juries and therapy without anyone having a license to practice.

It is LDS court. The judge is the bishop who never bothered to talk to you because you are sexually unrepentant AND it is all your fault. The law is another story told by Dieter Uchtdorf, which was humorously not true when he told it. You, the defendant, are missing and you get no say in your own defense. In your place is some ninny recounting more things you never said. And the witness is the guy who jumped through your window at mid-night with his pants down and is furious at your shock and rebuff. Your mother is on their side because her prices at the local market may go up. And the punishment is until you grovel and tell the church authority they are right about everything and you are just a hopeless atheist ruining perfection again because you hate men or goodness or something wonderful. Expect your things to constantly be broken like the bird house on your lawn, ect, since you are being punished for being the problem.

For days these bishops practiced therapeutics on me without a license to correct "my bad behavior" that they learned about via the perverts gossip express. They aren't qualified to intervene because they often don't have the education to handle family problems, sexual abuse problems, ect, and they give advice that is outrageous. The advice that I routinely got was that the problem was women who were not grateful that men were catcalling them. Some of these male members would come around me and try to condition me in the correct appreciative way to handle catcalling and they were teaching girls that if a man comes on to you, you say "thank you!" You smile! Dieter told a story about two sisters: one glad and one sad. When I was a child, I could tell him one. I did not know how to say "no" because I was a pleaser and I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings. That is terrible advice to just be glad and one is always sad. (One sister became concerned sir). When I was 16, a man in my apartment complex attempted to rape and murder me by dragging me into his unit; my older brother stopped him. When I was 16, my boss undressed in front of me. When I was 24, I was raped in college. (I could fill pages with these types of incidents. Literally it would go on for pages: age 12, 13,16,16,19,22, 24,25,ect...) Telling women to just appreciate men is ridiculous therapy. It comes from not having a proper background before they make decisions, and, truly, they should not be practicing behavioral therapy on people in the community without consent and they do. The LDS Church practices behavioral therapy on everyone in the community and that "is" the basis of the entire problem.

The ultimate issue that I have with this outside of being tested on without consent is that I am cast in a role, and so is everyone else experiencing this, without consent. Umm...I don't speak to the Devil. It is ridiculous. I am not the Devil's consort. I do not do bad deeds. I do not have a sexual libido problem. I do not agree with doing bad deeds and these members chase my car, come where I am, hassle my work place, bother my kids, ect. Look, I never agreed to play Hester Prynne. They tell their members that you are a sinner and to shun you and that employs you in this shenanigans. If they are going to make decisions like that they should just directly make them without hiding behind brainwashed members, and you don't have the right to take people leaving or whatever and use us for this agenda where some people are saved and some people aren't. Who gives you the right to pronounce that you know about the state of someone's soul and then start punishing them? I have never had a conversation with the Devil; he does not talk to me, and I am no a conductor for evil in the universe. Evil is not welcome around me.



Edited 9 time(s). Last edit at 06/23/2018 04:19PM by raven.