People Aren’t Having Kids Because It’s Way Too Expensive

https://www.yahoo.com/lifestyle/people-aren-t-having-kids-221221862.html

Couldn't this affect the morg !??

No, because ghawd would not send you more kids than you could afford to raise.

If you do run into financial difficulty, it's because of sin.

Most of the younger members don't think like this. They aren't having as many kids and they are getting married later.

Most active LDS aren't idiots, despite what the leaders hope.

Very true, To go along with this, I read an article that says that 70% of millennials in New England have not been married. Trends are changing.

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/for-many-millennials-marriage-can-wait_us_58594a53e4b0630a254235b6

“It’s become more and more difficult for young adults to make a living, especially for less-educated men. This makes marriage a risky proposition,”

This would be my circumstance, white trash, in blue collar, easily replaced. The hidden prejudice where I live is that girls want white collar management guys I guess? It's a safer bet for future offspring...

Blue collar means we are sinners and less equipped with intelligence. The dominant religion writes off lower wage earners. I can't think of a single GA who is blue/pink collar (non lawyer types).

Can't answer for the Mormon church since I'm no longer a member for many years but it's affecting other areas of our life. I have 3 in the 20s. Only one grandchild, and it looks like it might be my only one. Everybody works to pay off school loans and this has really been a noose over their necks. I watch my granddaughter everyday since her parents work long hours. Basically, I'm her mom figure. But daycare was upwards of $600 part time with long waiting lists. They swear they will not have another one. She was definitely not a planned pregnancy.

My sister has four kids, two grandkids. Each couple says this will be their only child. Not planned pregnancies either. My sister watches both kids too. Daycare is a huge expense.

My husband's family lives in Wash DC area. Again, most have no children or just one child in the family. Except my nephew - he ended up with triplets! Not planned but definitely thrilled all the grandparents. Two grandmas again team up to babysit the triplets daily as their mother and father work long hours.

Sounds like a pattern. Moms and Dads have to work long hours just to survive. Babies are a luxury few can afford nowadays. Being a grandparent is a joy beyond measure but I guess it's going to be one for me for the time being.

Yep, sweets, your situation is much like mine. I watch my only grandbaby, too. She will likely be my only grandchild. Both my children are up to their eyebrows in student debt. I don't blame them for being reluctant about the child thing.

I agree with you that school loans are a huge issue. They have gotten to be truly oppressive. Young parents are also thinking ahead to the cost of educating their offspring.

I feel blessed to have one grand-niece. For a long time I feared that our family would stop with the millennial generation. But now we have one and who knows, perhaps another might come along.

Some, I know, say it's a terrible, bad world and they refuse to bring children into it. When was it ever not a terrible, bad world?

Yes. Children are very expensive. Plan on a two decade commitment.

Seems to be more expensive, now days. Somehow we got by having children in the middle 60s and middle 70s. Different times. Good insurance at a reasonable price. Even without insurance, medical was reasonable. No required seat belts or required car seats. No "toys are us" and ads enticing the kids either. All those things came in after my kids were preteens.

Before nuclear weapons with the capacity of ending life on the planet in 45 minutes?

Before global warming with the capacity of ending life as we know it on this planet, in more than 45 minutes assuredly, but ultimately, the same outcome?

I have one child, and money definitely factors into my decision not to have more.

I had insurance, a "Silver" plan. However, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes, and I quickly found out how much wasn't covered by insurance. Insulin wasn't covered ($400/month). Needles weren't covered. I had to have an ultrasound every week while I was on insulin ($600 each) for 10 weeks and none of those were covered. When I got my final bill, after insurance, it was over $12,000. At the time I was working for an attorney as a legal secretary, and when my boss found out how much my bill was, he very generously paid it for me. For that I am forever grateful to him, because otherwise it would have been a financial burden for me. He also gave me 12 weeks PAID leave. This was a small office. Just me and him. He didn't have to do any of that for me. Many women are not so lucky.

for others these days? I'm sure there are others who do, but that is amazing!

I had really good insurance for $.95 a pay check when I had my twins 32-1/2 years ago. My ex had good insurance, too. What one insurance didn't pay, the other did, and I paid zilch for my twins or that $.95 a month. My sister had all her kids without insurance in the 1970s and they were able to pay off the bill quickly.

Things have CERTAINLY CHANGED.

For those talking about grandchildren above, I have zero grandchildren. My twins are 32. My son is divorced. Luckily (and by plan) he didn't have any children with either of his long-term relationships. My daughter pretty much runs from marriage. I just turned 61. I was a single mother, so I'm not in any hurry to be a grandmother and I know that if I became one, I would be the babysitter, too. Besides, I wouldn't want my grandkids in day care. I didn't put my kids in it either. My mom went to work for a very short time and I remember day care well. I'd never do that to my kids. I was probably 4 years old.

This is a good post, Anonymous 2. Very important.

There is an alternative way to put the problem: for over three decades the incomes of middle- and lower-class people have been stagnant while the cost of living, and particularly of college, has continued to rise. It is without doubt tougher to deliver to one's children the lifestyle that everyone wants.

This is part of a broader problem of stagnant wages. People all over the country, and across much of Europe, are angry that their prospects have dimmed. Political elites have failed to acknowledge, let alone remedy, that problem.

The danger is that the reaction against the establishment may be counter-productive, contributing to a worsening of economic conditions rather than their amelioration. But the problem is very real and families and children are the ones who suffer.

Millennials are reacting rationally.

And hip hop hooray!

You said "amelioration"... It's actually "ameliaearhart"...

You're welcome!

Gil Amelio

Somewhere a 12-year-old boy is sticking his tongue out at you, Mr. Dawg.

I see him in the mirror!!!!

For some reason this makes me think of the Clive Owen movie “Children of Men”.

If I ever have a child through IF, it'd be my only child. I am not ready for one yet and I'm 25. From an old Church movie "The Single's Ward", there is a line which I find hilarious "If you're 25, and unmarried (in th church), you're a menace to society."

I am gay AND unmarried

I hope that the dearth of childbearing DOES affect the Morg. But if a couple takes the risk and has a child they can't afford and can't make ends meet, do you think TSCC wants to step in and rescue them with their "Lord's Way" welfare program? Or will they turn to Trump's America for help? More and more couples will choose not to take the risk.

Just be like my mom her siblings, have way too many kids because THE (MORmON) church says to, and then have feelings of bitter resentment toward the children who have ZERO fault in the matter through out their upbringing instead of nurturing them.
THE church will help out by keeping a person BROKE with their NEVER ending demands for MOReMONey and keeping a person so busy with church callings so that the children will be very neglected.


When the children recognize those feelings of bitter parental resentment and point them out, THEN do what THE church does -DENY DENY LIE AND DENY. Then make claims that you were the best parent ever as a counter to reality.

I clearly had more kids than I could handle because of TSCC. But I put the blame on the church, not on the kids. I tend to tell my kids that I wish I had been a better parent. None of them follows Mormonism, so I must have done something right.

My mom had me because of the cult she obviously hated being a mom she would tell me every day almost how she made SO many sacrafices for me and she had to feed me and take me places and how I ruined her body during child birth and how everything was MY fault basically and she would go on and on and ON about all the sacrifices she made to bring me here I'm like well that's nice but since I had no say WHATSOEVER in my existence you have ABSOLUTELY no right to sit and squack to me about it. If you didn't want the responsibility of raising kids then it was ENTIRELY up to YOU to make that NOT happen and if I was an oopsies she always had other options she did not HAVE to have children she just very obviously did it for the cult. She would talk about how not having kids is so selfish and actually it is absolutely NOT selfish to not have kids however it is VERY selfish to have kids you don't even want because your the religion your finatical about told you too and then blame them for it when the kid obviously had NO SAY WHATSOEVER in it! Its freaking rediculous to blame them! She passed down some bad genetic crap to me too that I get to deal with for the rest of my life so thank you mommy dear! NOT!

Its one thing to complain about your kids every once in a while but she did it like every day almost then she got up in freaking testimony meeting and said to the congragation how the greatest joy in life is being a mom and she over dramatically mouthed the words I love you to me. Ugh GAG took all my strength not to give her two middle fingers up!!!! I ALMOST did!!! But I didn't want to cause drama then almost everyone in the ward told me how "lucky" I was yaaaaaa about that! She has now left the church and our relationship is still not perfect I'm still very annoyed by her choice to have a kid she never even wanted and all the blame she put on me however she is a MUCH better person today far less abusive and FAR less judgemental then she used to be how sad is it that a religion can make someone so mentally abusive and hard to be around? I'm not saying ALL Mormons are abusive but it certainly doesn't help some people! And ya it drives me NUTS when people have kids who don't even want them just cause the cult told them to I know quite a few Mormons who do that and its like grr stop!!! Only have kids if you actually WANT them peoples its so unfair to the kid!

Joe the man, it hurts my heart that you were treated that way. My mother was not a mormon, but she reminded me every day how she did not want me and blamed me for all her problems. So, I do understand your pain. I hope you are dealing with it well as in knowing you are innocent, and she is just a major a**h****.
Hats off to those who are responsible enough to only have children they want and truly welcome them into the world. Or when wisely choose to not have children at all. It's not for everybody.

Aquarius123 thank you for the kind words I really appriciate it!!! I'm so sorry you had to deal with that as well!!! :( and yes! Big hats off to people who are responsible with reproduction!

When I was at BYU some 25 years ago, I had a roommate who had been told by her gyno that she would not be able to get pregnant, or if she did, she would definitely not be able to carry a fetus. I remember feeling very jealous of her, wishing I too could be diagnosed as infertile.

Finally, I realized I didn't have to have kids if I didn't want to, so I made sure I never did. It felt a lot like realizing I didn't have to believe in Mormonism if I didn't want to. I use to make up excuses, though, like not enough money, or living in an apartment, or not the right time. The truth was I never wanted that. I thought making up "legitimate" excuses would take the heat off of me from those who hounded me to start having kids.

So my point is, I gotta wonder how many people just don't really want to have kids but feel the need to make up some excuse to justify it to others who don't want to accept their decision not to have any. Kids being too expensive is a get out of jail for free card that a lot of people will buy. Very true on the outside, but maybe not truly the heart of the matter.

I've heard people (nevermos), say that it's selfish to not have children. When I ask them why, they never have an answer.

Folks, MYOB.

Hasn't stopped my sister with eight kids and counting. Or any other Mormon couple probably. When it comes to making kids they aren't swayed by anything it seems.

Like a Navy SEAL pumping out push-ups. Of course, some people just love kids. No price is too great. It sucks for them if it’s religiously motivated.

Yep, sad part is I don't even know all their names she's having them so fast. Next time I see her she'll probably have ten. It has to be a status thing in the church the more kids you have.

My kids are grown and gone, and not following Mormonism. They don't want to have children. They grew up in a town where many parents were very well off, even trust-funded. Their classmates' parents and grandparents SHOWERED them with big, very expensive presents every Christmas and birthday and likely in between. They had the best clothes to wear for school and of course looked down their noses at the lower income kids. My kids were very hurt by this, but we could not move to a more humble town or do home-schooling (I was ill with Multiple Sclerosis). My husband worked hard, but we had to scrimp to provide for our children's needs. We bought them presents for Christmas and birthday too, but we could not afford the glitzy expensive things the rich kids were getting. And--horror of all horrors--WE WERE PAYING TITHING! My kids got their basic needs met, but we couldn't pay for things like music lessons or vacations because, TITHING. My kids felt inferior and don't want to have kids just to see them also feel hurt and inferior.

That's such a sad situation.

Luckily, I had the opposite experience. I went to high school in a wealthy area. My family was poor at the time (my father had just died, and I was sent to live with my brother who was in grad school.) Looking for a good school district for me, he managed to find an apartment on the furthest fringe of town.

And happily, the kids in that town were a kind lot. I wore the same pair of patched jeans to school every day, and never got a look or a comment for doing so. I was fully welcomed and accepted, and found a nice, supportive group of friends. High school was a peaceful experience for me.

There are large apartment complexes going up all over Salt Lake County, and they are still not keeping up with demand. These are the sorts of places that typically singles or childless couples move in to. They're too big (too many units) and expensive to be very attractive for young parents.

Large construction companies pay very close attention to demographic trends. They're expecting lots of delayed marriage and delayed childbearing or no children in their prospective customers, even in Utah.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 07/07/2018 09:20AM by Brother Of Jerry.

I knew at 18 I was never going to have kids. Just seeing the way they act and all the work that goes into them, forget it. We as a society need to stop having kids, and start caring about ourselves for future generations.

The Church plays a big role in family size. I once heard Bruce McConkie at a stake conference say "we fail to understand why anyone would want to limit the size of their family".

I grew up in a rural area dominated by Mormons. A woman I knew once said the "Celestial Family" in our community was 7 kids but in the nearby town (12,000) the "Celestial family" was 5 kids.

People vary a lot in their ability to manage financial resources and I agree with Avocet that other reasons often dictate family size but people use finances as justification for limiting kids.

The trend in western society is for fewer kids and Mormons are a part of that. Do a little genealogy and see how many kids people had in the 19th century. Of course there were other factors such as no modern birth control and the likelihood you would lose one or more to disease.

My wife and I have 5 children and 3 grandchildren. A cousin the same age has 7 children and 35 grandchildren.