Date: July 09, 2018 10:58PM
Yep. Newbies: If you are looking for “recovery” and someone to lift you as you sort through the biggest loss of your life wanting those who once loved the church and their church family to help you let go without sinking into despair ,and you are not ready for talk of drinking, burning the place down, challenging your thoughts, correcting your research etc. ,this may not be the forum you need at this period of time. You know where you are and what you need for healing. This forum like others changes from time to time as to focus of helpfulness and fact based knowledge of church discussion to venting and debate. When you are ready to deal with that,as well, it is a great place to be. However, it can get tedious and childish. One coming here after a shelf is splintering and crashing on his head is hurting too much to develop a thick skin having had it just peeled and torn from Mormonism exposing all the nerves ,bruising the muscles and tissues. When you have to watch every word you say as someone is ready to point out the error of your thinking, you are not safe to heal . I have developed a thick skin now , somewhat ,so nothing bothers me. Don’t really give a rats arse. I look at topics and decide if they suit the mood I am in for the day and read ,but if not , I don’t . If there is something that I feel I want to say, I will ,but the main thing is, I do and say what I want and when I want. That took time and safety. Don’t care if some person corrects my grammatical errors or challenges . Don’t care if they take issue and call names. I have learned to calm the hell down. I am recovered. First time I posted, I had some people not like my screen name and wanted me to choose another. It had taken everything in me to post anything because that meant I no longer believed ,and I needed to feel there were sane people out there who also didn’t believe, but had made it out alright. Really? Who cares what screen name a person has? I was dying and looking for anyone to say I would come out the other side with my heart intact because they had done so. They would give me hope .They hadn’t lost their soul or their heart. They remained a person of honor. For any newbies, you will be okay and happy. If your skin is still thin and you feel wounded, protect it. It will take time before it is free from wounds and even longer to become thick so barbs don’t reopen wounds. You will come out the other side and whatever values you have as an individual will remain.Some will change but only if you see things differently. You will not lose yourself to ugly bitterness unless you choose that route. You are still you. You are now free to truly seek and believe what rings true. Nobody can tell you what to believe anymore unless they still feel the need to make you a robot, to make you fit their mold. From such, turn away. You will be at peace as long as you remain true to yourself. I am at peace.