Ok everytime I visited my grandpa I would be pulled back into the church of Christ cult again! Everything I did was wrong and a sin! I couldn't drink soda, I ate to much, I didn't wear dresses, I refused to take communion, I challenged the elders

I love Hollywood movies! I still struggle with guilt and fear from this cult! Like I feel like I am always wrong! I walked away from the cult but family members are still in! And try so hard to pull you back or you will go to hell! Yep that is what I got told a lot!

I was told I was going to hell a lot, too, by my Mormon mother, who's father was a GA high-up fat-cat. My answer to that was this:

"So, you are telling me that I'm going to Hell. If I don't go to Hell, then I'm proving you wrong. You don't want to be wrong. So, that means you WANT me to go to Hell. Someone who wants me to go to Hell is not my friend."

I still have that attitude with Mormons who try to pull me back in back in, by telling me they love me, and they miss seeing me in meetings, and they miss the good old days and the fun we had together as friends. They act like I've been on some long journey somewhere, away from all communication. I look them in the eye, and see them as liars and manipulators. They have ulterior motives--to get my money, to get my children's money, to capture my grandchildren, to get their faithful organist back (the ward has had trouble with that).

I answer those people, by saying, "I'm still here, in the same house as always, with the same phone number. If you really missed me, or cared, you could easily have called me, or said hello at the grocery store, instead of turning away."

The idea of "reactivating the inactive" is lame, because we already see through the phoniness. It just reinforces our decision to leave.

My side leaves me alone. My husband's side is more vocal, but just a few of them. Luckily we don't live close by.

They've left me alone pretty much.

No. Don't know if any of them that are still TBM know I'm out...and I could tell them to fuck off if they got pushy.

Yes, many times. The frequency goes up and down. When the leaders push for their lost sheep it goes up and when they lay off it goes down.

Always, but the numbers are fewer and fewer.

On the GA side of the family, a few cousins tried, and I was polite and didn't say much. Most of them went straight to shunning mode. When my children and I officially resigned, even the die-hards went into shunning mode. I had these cousins for a lifetime--LOL--and we spent our summers together at our grandparents' cabin, and they said they loved me. I loved them, too. I looked up to them, as they were athletic, intelligent, friendly, and accomplished, and though I was younger, I could keep up with them. My uncle performed my wedding ceremony, in the temple, and one was my maid of honor. Now, none of them speak to me, and we live only a few blocks away. Our grandchildren go to the same schools, and they are strangers.

On the other TBM side of my family, half of the cousins have left the cult, and we are close. The other half gets along, because they do NOT try to pull us back.

No. At least not since my initial spilling of the beans that I didn't believe and would likely resign. After I did resign, there wasn't much effort on that front from my relatives.

That surprised me to some extent, but I think they also realized how mad I was about having been spoon fed Mormonism since birth and coming to understand that it was all a fabricated lie. Trying to do that more would just further alienate me from the family.

So, to preserve the relationship religion is something we only discuss in superficial ways (i.e. so and so is going on a mission, something funny happened with the kids in our primary class etc.)

I think that's a happy equilibrium that works about as well as it can with such a wide chasm when it comes to some basic beliefs and values.

Our oldest daughter and her husband are still TBM's; we have an eggshell treaty that we won't talk about the truth to them and they won't talk about the church with us. We went to our granddaughter's baptism and we gave her a neutral gift of a bracelet that had her birthstone on it. I really want to have an all out discussion with them about how the church is a fraud, but the time isn't right yet.

valkyriequeen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I really want to have an all out discussion with
> them about how the church is a fraud, but the time
> isn't right yet.

Funny how a series of events, a change or heart, a scrutiny of logic all have to happen for some. It takes years for many people, myself included and then the spark that ignites the shelf and it collapses. For me it was seeing the founder as a predator. For my brother it was his son being gay and supporting him. It is many things until one thing torches the pile.

They have learned not to even try. They know it will lead to a long discussion about things they don't want to talk about or even know about.

Mom is crazy-level devout and in the early days of my resignation would condemn me for it. She's lightened up on it, but still will try once in a while.

Dad, a jack-Mormon and undiagnosed narcissist, will occasionally give a long lecture on how wrong I am to leave, how superior he is for never leaving, how great he is for all he's done (which consists of working, watching TV, yelling at Mom, and being an all around tosser). Thankfully his lectures are usually by phone now, so he can't see me mouthing his words while pantomiming masturbation.

And they wonder why I don't go to college in Utah.

Right up until I cut them off. Right to the second.