Anyone here remember going either as a daughter or father to one of the church sponsored Daddy Daughter dates during the 1960's or 70's?

I don't know when it was scrapped as an annual program. But do remember fondly the date night my dad and I shared when I was in Primary.

Don't recall they had an equivalent for the moms and sons ... if TSCC did, would like to know..

I do remember if there was more than one daughter, or no father, it was fairly common for a grandpa or uncle to attend the young lady in lieu of a father figure.

Nothing good can come of this.

So you didn't participate. Do you recall your ward having them ?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2018 11:32AM by Amyjo.

Lots of organizations had father-daughter kinds of events, but did not call them dates.

My Jobs Daughters Bethel had father-daughter dinner in the fall. It was at the lodge, we cooked under the direction of our Mom’s and our dads came to eat. Then they attended our meeting while the moms cleaned up and we all went home. An offsetting mother-daughter event happened in the spring with the dads supervising and cleaning up.


My sorority had Dad’s Day in the fall, we all went to football. Mom’s Day in the spring was more formal and usually was a cultural event. Allowed our parents to get to know the parents of our friends.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2018 12:21PM by sbg.

You remind me we did a couple mother-daughter events in Primary and later in MIA (before it became Young Women.)

I remember (and think I have a photo somewhere) of my daughter and me, when she was 13, IIRC, and her mother dressed her up in the 50's high school girl look for a Daddy Daughter Date in the church gym, the kind that had carpet on the floor.

That would have been about 1995-96--she was born in 1982.

I remember them well. I went to two that I recall. It was about dressing up, dancing, and spending time with daddy. It seemed innocent at the time.

It was really assigned time for dads to spend time with daughters and early conditioning for dating behavior.

It was the LDS precursor to what some Christians do with the Purity Balls where the daughter dresses up and dances with daddy- with the added creep factor that they pledge chastity in front of their dads.

Add this to fathers "giving away" their daughters at marriage.

It all feels like girls are property. Calling time with fathers a "date" is creepy in hindsight. Children don't go on "dates" with parents. With the polygamist history of marrying each others young daughters, it carries a darker association to me.

One time I had to go with my grandfather because my father was working. Looking back, he was uncomfortable and bored. He didn't know anyone there. It was clearly an obligation the church placed on our family.

It may have been opposition to it and more young girls being products of single parent homes that resulted in it being tabled.

Women/girls were historically treated as property/chattel. It is disturbing when put in that context.

Never exposed my children to the cult.

I took my girls to the children's museum in Salt Lake. Was that a date ?

No parenting

My dad wasnt a member and didnt like the church,not to mention dressing up. I either didnt go or went alone.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2018 04:33PM by bona dea.

I don't know why, but I did. My sister and I were 17 months apart and so our grandpa went with us.

They had one of those things that you put your face through the hole at one of the DDD I had a picture taken with my grandpa (I have to mention that his name is Romeo and he was one of the nicest people). I was afraid it was lost. My mother was good at saving everything, but she has been dead almost 10 years. I was cleaning out my cedar chest (does anyone remember those????) and there was that Polaroid picture of my grandpa and I. I was THRILLED to find it.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 08/12/2018 01:48PM by cl2.

I didn't own a "Hope" chest when I was a young TBM. So finally, when my children were growing up, I bought one for myself (most of the young women I knew either inherited them from their TBM relatives, or were gifted them by their parents.)

You should've seen me driving with my cedar chest (it was the last one in a 100 mile radius that Costco was selling/clearing out.) I drove all the way to a New Jersey store to buy it and they strapped it to the top of my mission fleet Chevy automobile I'd purchased from the LDS mission home a couple years prior. Driving home on the thruway with a cedar chest strapped to the top of my car. Now that took real dedication.

Still own it. The cedar still preserves linens in it as good as ever.

A picture is worth ten thousand words. To find that photo of you with your grandfather is priceless.

driving with that cedar chest on top of your car!!!

I still have mine. My mother had one and it is still in their home. My brother lives in their home.

Yes, I'm so happy about finding that picture. I never would have found it if I had tried to find it at my parents' home.

It was pretty dare devil on my part. In retrospect I wouldn't go to such lengths again to procure a piece of furniture no matter how badly I wanted something. :D

When I move back west am planning to downsize majorly.

The cedar chest may be something I part with. But am still undecided.

It's old now. Well seasoned guess you could say. :)

Yes, I remember these. The church was insensitive to girls that did not have a father in the home and how these type of events made the child feel. The church did a great job of making those who came from single parent homes feel bad.

As a single mom myself I know how much I was shunned and so were my children by virtue of my being a divorcee. I was good enough to lead the Sacrament music for five straight years in a row. Hardly missed a Sunday when my children were toddlers. And yet ... because I worked outside the home, and my children were in daycare before and after school until I picked them up from work. I was treated as less than sub-standard.

It came to a head when my children and I attended the ward Christmas party one year. Was told my children were left out of the Christmas program because I was a working mom, and didn't have time to make their costumes (no one had even bothered to ask me in the first place.) We showed up, before realizing only my children, and a little Latino boy whose mother was a stay-at-home mom and f/t TBM was also excluded. Was his on account of his race?

That was our last Christmas in that ward. My kids and I left early the next spring. In a subsequent church where we went to my son played Joseph in the Christmas pageant the following year. And my daughter participated as a lamb in the manger. Note: that church didn't know what had transpired at the Mormon church. But actions spoke so much louder than words. It was true religion in action.

the events except that picture! But my best friend's dad wasn't active and he would come to them. Weren't as many single mothers when I was growing up.

BUT staying active as a mormon as a single mother is a hell I wouldn't wish on anyone. I had friends at work who were single mothers before I even got married. I also was in the singles' ward until age 27. There is no way in hell they could have dragged me back to church during the years I still believed. I knew what my kids would be in for, let alone what I would be in for.

I went on a mother son breakfast one time. I was 11. Last year of primary.

They had every other combination under the sun, but never a Mom-and-Son activity. I thought I was the only mom who was upset about this.

Cub Scouts made up for it: they had a "Mom-n-Me" camping weekend. We had a blast. He is 42 now, and we STILL have fond memories of that weekend.

Yes, I remember going on the "Daddy-Daughter Date." 1960s in Southern California. It was held at the church and all of us little girls, about 10 yrs old went on "dates" with our dad.

I think I was ten when we had ours at the local ward. :)

I remember the Daddy-Daughter Dates not only for me back when dinosaurs roamed the earth, but also with each one of our daughters. There were different themes and decorations and my husband and our daughters would dress according to what the theme was. We still have pictures that were taken there.

Oh sweet. :)

I would not have liked this one bit.

Yes, creepy. As others noted above, other churches have these too, for a variety of reasons, but primarily it seems to teach the girls how to be respected, etc. I model how my girls should expect to be treated by a man by treating their mom the way a woman should be treated by a man. Sons can learn the same way. Seeing a father and daughter get all dolled up to go out on a "date" is creepy.

Just what I was thinking, this sounds really creepy.

I remember them, but not being either a daddy or a daughter when I was "in," I never participated.

I did photos for a local girl-scout "daddy daughter ball" a few years ago. It was mostly innocent, but there was an absolutely creepy vibe with some of the "couples." Dads treating their daughters like ACTUAL "dates" and such. Dads making comments (while photos were being taken) about how they'd be hot to date their daughters if they were younger and such.

It seriously creeped me out.

My ward did these well into the 2000s. My dad was an exmo by that point and wasn’t willing to take me so I got to be the pity project and had to sit with someone else’s family. Instead of feeling sorry for myself for my dad being a ‘bad mormon’, I wish I had been brave enough to realize how awful and toxic the church really was.

I can't imagine the heartache you might have felt going to one of those alone.

It was very much a social event, but with so much fanfare as I recall.

It was the year before that (I was ten when the dance event happened,) that my parents had separated for what seemed like a few weeks.

Finally, out of the blue, my dad showed up (returned) one early morning, with a change of heart to get back with my mom. It was one of several separations they had during my childhood. It caused me a great deal of anxiety I'm pretty sure most of the other girls my age had not been subjected to. I suffered from separation anxiety.

The dance social seemed more like a competition to me of sorts. As much as I loved being there with my dad, the whole thing made me feel uncomfortable. But treated like a rite of passage I was expected to attend.

A good thing for you that your dad woke up to the fabrication of TSCC while you were still growing up. He broke the cycle in your family of being a generational Mormon.

My father was a movie-star handsome, university-professor intelligent man in a business suit and tie. I loved and respected him so much, that all he had to do is give me a disappointed look, and I would be heartbroken. I could ask him any question, and he knew the answer. (This was before Al Gore invented the internet) Dad was a teacher at heart, and taught many skills. He was a serious man, and not into anything as unsophisticated as cookies and crepe paper in a church gym. He was very undemonstrative, and those who didn't know him thought he was intimidating.

Just like everything else in the Mormon church, one size does NOT fit all. Yes, my father was bored and uncomfortable, and one time we were on our way to the Daddy daughter dance, and he said, "Let's go get an ice cream soda, instead," and we walked around the University campus, afterwards, and he showed me his office and classrooms. That was very special.

Every year, our wards had the Daddy-daughter night, and the Scout Mother-son banquet, and the father-son campout. I don't know if they dropped the daddy-daughter night after correlation.

My children's school had a mother-son and a daddy-daughter dinner, every other year. They had to rename the "daddy" to "special guy," because of all the divorces in the district. The mother-son dinner remained the same.

When I got divorced, my father substituted for "daddy," and joined in with my kids. He was an incredible grandpa, and taught my children all the things he taught me. My children, now adults, said that he was more like their REAL father.

Your dad sounds awesome.

Some of the public middle schools (7-9 grade) in the area have Father/Daughter dances as an annual event.

We have a beautiful picture of our son-in-law and our granddaughter at last years dance.

The sparkle and love in our granddaughter's eyes is priceless.

That sounds nice.

Also from a single mother home. I was in the Camp Fire Girls org and they had a father/daughter dinner & dance.
Mother moved the living room furniture to teach us some ballroom dancing and my oldest brother took me. I think I was 8 and he was 16. He was tall, 6'3". So, I danced with his knees. lol

I don't remember them being called "dates", they were called

"Daddy Daughter Dances".

I remember our ward having one of these but that was in the mid-90s. We only had the one here and they shifted the focus to fater and son activities. No mother daughter and no more cross gender after that.

I recall when my daughter was attending some youth events through the local ward at some ward members homes ... that year they were under instructions from SLC to not hold them anymore at members houses - due to liability issues.

After that they stopped them, unless they were held at the church building.