I did a three-month rotation on a Psych ward in nursing school. I had thought I'd like it much more in comparison to bedside nursing which was challenging for me due to my amazingly severe squeamishness. All those grisly sights. Dressings, drainage, fluids, expulsions. Ugh. Thanks for the memories, I don't think.

Well, I didn't like Psych. Long story. Not relevant.

But, obviously, we did learn to use diagnostic terms to refer to mental health issues and people living with them.

Somebody here asked the other day why some posts contain derogatory language re mental health. I had noticed the same thing. Seems to be an uptick of careless wording and negative comments about it lately.

"Schizophrenia" being used as an insult, for example. Or someone who carries a mental health diagnosis being referred to as "wacko", etc. Among the worst is referring to suicide lightheartedly or with insulting or slang words. Incorrect information, stereotypes and lack of compassion also don't help.

I know it's frowned on to tell others how to post. I'm not trying to do that. Just saying this particular style of commentary is wincey. And maybe it's something to think about in a community that's called "Recovery" when we know (1) Mormonism has been known to cause mental health challenges; (2) Fellow exmos struggle with these challenges; (3) We have lost posters to suicide and that still hurts no matter how much time goes by.

Careless or heartless words can wound deeply, as many of us know. Choice ones can heal.

Healing/Recovery. Name of the game around here, no? At least in this regard. You'd hope.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2018 01:10AM by Nightingale.

It's a shame there is so much derogatory slang around mental health diagnoses. It's also a great concern that many are not treated well, even when they are being treated. It's true in prisons also.
The same applies to the aging and elderly. I've been called all kinds of derogatory names because I'm a senior.
Most of the derogatory name-calling comes from a lack of maturity, compassion and understanding.

I'm sorry that happens to you, SQ. Turnabout is fair play and maybe as people get older and/or infirm themselves they will think back and go yikes, I didn't know and I'm sorry.

Life is definitely an ongoing learning process for us all.

I took an elderly relative to a medical appointment recently. Although she certainly had serious health concerns, we were lighthearted and joking and laughing quietly with each other while the MD reviewed her file. I instinctively held her hand as we chatted in the corner waiting for him. I noticed him staring at our hands. At the end of the interview and exam he said how incredible it was that we had good rapport and that my relative had so much support. It made me sad because I thought from his reaction that he must see a lot of elderly folks who don't have that. It's not necessarily a commentary on them as people at all. More that life is busy and stressful and people have to work and deal with competing demands and quiet, elderly relatives are way down on the list to spend time with and value. Both sides miss out. I did it myself with elderly relatives in the UK. Didn't correspond with grandparents as much as I should have. Of course I regret it now that they're gone. I can only hope they didn't think I didn't care about them.

Thanks Nightingale. Abusive or insulting language has no place here. Unfortunately we are hearing it in the political realm and it seems to be affecting us in other areas of our lives. Abusive language is the last resort of one who cannot come up with a coherent argument or a cogent point in a discussion. Kindness is what is changes peoples minds. A cudgel rarely affects someone's worldview. There are many great folks here who are passionate about helping others. It is a small minority who cause disruptions.

Without rehashing a thread that has already been closed, and some posts redacted, I would only like to add to this that it doesn't help to blame the victim/s in an apparent suicide / attempted homicide such as the one that occurred when the Payson, Utah man drove his company plane into his domicile with the intent to murder his wife.

I was defending her to a different poster who decided she was an adulteress, and deserved the wrath her husband was doling out on her. He then told me interlaced with other insults that I was off my meds. So I retorted he is schizophrenic. Both posts were removed. No, what I said wasn't called for. It was a response to someone flaming me. For my own behavior I apologize.

Nor should anyone minimize suicide. It's a tragedy, made less so by the lives that were spared.

Nor do I believe in victim shaming. That woman, now widow, will be living with survivor's guilt the rest of her life, and PTSD. Her husband did have a choice to make and obviously he went with his gut reaction which was to maim and destroy. Whatever his mental health issues were, he was a violent person who will be remembered as such.

Where was intervention for him that day? It just didn't happen. Even his being arrested earlier for assaulting his wife only seemed to make him more determined to follow through with what he'd started earlier. She is very lucky to have survived the ordeal.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2018 10:21AM by Amyjo.

Nice rehash!!!

Can I take you and Amyjo to lunch?

Hahahaha!

Booked into an appropriate venue, you could make a good buck!

No.

General comments or suggestions mentioning no one in particular doesn't seem offensive to me. No one needs to take these comments seriously unless they feel encouraged to change.

The rules for posting are available at the top of the page.

About mental health terms, I agree we need to be somewhat sensitive and accurate if possible. I certainly don't like being called by inappropriate medical terms and I don't think others would like it either. Anyone with mental health concerns likely needs support and encouragement and I would hope they could find it on RfM.

I'm less concerned about comments about those who don't read here than those who post and see when someone calls them by terms which are not appropriate.

Everything you said.

Hoping people find support and understanding here. Or at least not disparaging comments that they feel are directed at them, even if not meant that way. We can say it's "just" a discussion board or not meant to be personal. But it can feel that way if we're careless with labels and attitudes.

Question

Is there a difference between a personality disorder, and mental illness?

Not that I'm an expert on either subject.

I'm not a doctor, but due to issues in my family, I've had to do a lot of research. With that being said, I think Cheryl is correct. So called "personality disorders" are a type, or subset of mental health disorders.

Also, people who are given the label of having a "personality disorder" have nothing wrong with their actual personality. It's often that they have difficulty processing emotions or other issues. There's a lot of stigma around it.

The literature generally differentiates between personality disorders and mental illness.

Personality disorders are considered mental disorders, meaning problematic mental and behavioral patterns, but not mental illnesses--which are generally more organic.

After being on suicide watch for a month, and then three more months of staying home recuperating, I just came back to work this week. If I hear "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" one more time, I'm going to scream. A co-worker I really like was the last one to say it. I explained to her that when you have been in deep emotional pain for years and there is no end to it in sight, it is not a "temporary problem".

This trite phrase might make someone else feel better, or superior, but it minimizes what the person who tried to leave, or did leave, was dealing with, and is usually wrong.

Please, stop saying this.

I am sorry for what you have been going through, Heidi GWOTR, and I am very glad you are back.

I will be thinking of you, for sure.

Thank you. I really do appreciate it.

Thank you, Heidi, for helping us gain insight. I'm sorry to read of your struggles.

It's amazing how uninformed we can be about situations we haven't personally experienced and how it easily leads to being insensitive, clueless, hurtful.

It's all too easy to think our experience is one common to all. Failing to realize or accept that this is not the case leads to a lot of the misunderstandings that abound between people, I feel. I was reading yesterday about challenges in our health care system here in Canada. As an example, someone said how difficult it is to find a family physician (an increasingly common frustration in our overloaded system as the practices of many GPs are full and we have a shortage of MDs). Someone else piped up to say "That's ridiculous. My GP retired and I found a new one in 30 minutes". OK. So that's *his* experience. Obviously, he didn't hear the part about all the people who are currently without a regular family doctor.

I thought it was a good example of how oblivious we can be to the realities of others even though on the surface they may seem to inhabit the same sphere as we do. Easy enough for me to say "life's great" while I'm lying in the sunshine at the ocean's edge during my six weeks of paid vacation from a job I love (in my dreams!). Well, maybe not so great for someone else without those benefits, and with unseen struggles, even though on the surface we're "the same".

It's a learning curve, steeper for some.

It really helps for people to share their reality with us. I appreciate it.

Careless platitudes can especially irk others, as you indicate. So easy to spout. But even a moment's thought may prevent us from doing so. I'm glad to say I've never uttered that particular one about a temporary problem. It seems obviously superficial and bound to be most unhelpful. I have learned, at long last, that it's OK to indicate that I don't know what to say at times.

I appreciated the thought from a minister I heard after the recent tragedy in Canada of four innocent people being shot to death, including two police officers. He was planning a vigil the day after and when asked what his address would be about he said the event was more about being together and not at all about him giving a sermon. He said it's a time of support when being there for each other was far more important than words.

I am reminded too of a new neighbour who is from a strife-ridden country at war. One morning when I happened to go over to visit she had just received word that a young nephew had been killed and his brother grievously wounded. She even showed me photos, which I wasn't expecting and they hit me upside the head. I could barely cope with it. (Talk of not using words - she showed me the pics because we don't share a common language - quickest way to communicate what was going on but oh, so tough to see, especially with no warning). There was nothing to say and I found it difficult to maintain composure. My eyes let me down as I teared up despite my best efforts. (Nurse's training always kicks in: stifle emotion - not necessary in social settings but ingrained). Gently she said "thank you", as if I had spoken. She knew I cared, without a word being needed, because of my silence and tears. That taught me a lot. As the minister after the shooting indicated, being there for each other is the primary thing, words not so much, at least in the immediate.

All the best to you, Heidi. I always notice your posts. I hope being back at work is helpful.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 08/16/2018 03:27PM by Nightingale.

I'm pleased you are better. Please know that I'm sending you my best good wishes.

Same here. Best of wishes on your health and recovery.

After I fell down the rabbit hole, I thought maybe I was going crazy. RfM helped convince me that I wasn’t crazy.

That’s right, folks. It’s not you, it’s them. It’s them. That’s just how cults work.