The one us kids looked up to as the stalwart 'big' brother.

His heart gave out earlier today. He was life flighted to a regional hospital, but not in time.

He was a BIC TBM, RM, the whole nine yards.

Despite that, he was a good man and will be terribly missed. Especially by his family. He was the rock of his family. His wife depended on him heavily. I don't know what she's going to do now that he's gone.

I'm still in shock. As I need to begin preparations for going to the funeral to say my last goodbyes.

Damn. Just damn.

I am sorry for your loss. My only sibling, a younger sister, passed away 6 years ago. It is difficult.

I’m so sorry. We are here for you. ((((HUGS))))

Sorry to hear about this, Amyjo. My heart goes out to you and your family.

So sorry to hear that...sounds like you were fond of him. (((hugs)))

I am sorry for your loss, Amyjo--and for the loss to your family.

May his memory be a blessing to you all.

Sorry for your loss, Amyjo.

Losing a family member is always difficult.

My condolences.

I am sorry for your loss.

I offer my condolences.

Sorry to hear that.

(((Amyjo)))

We hope love helps!

I'm sorry, Amyjo.

((((Amyjo)))) so sorry for your loss. Love, Aquarius

Amyjo! I am so, so sorry! What a shock! You are such a friend to all of us here—-wish there were something we all could do!

So sorry!

So sorry for your loss. My best wishes to you and your loved ones.

I'm so sorry, Amyjo. Losing a sibling has to be tough.

My condolences.

sorry for your loss :(

Thank you for sharing that with all of us; these things transcend the arguments and other issues that arise in this "big dysfunctional family."

I wish you well.

...but please accept mine.

Be a good sister-in-law at this time. It will help you, too. Love you!

So sorry for your loss, AmyJo.

My condolences and thoughts are with you and your family.

Hugs.

Wishing you peace and strength for the days ahead.

Amyjo, may all your memories of your brother support and sustain you at this time, but be reassured that you have a large extended family here that will love, support and sustain you now and the days ahead.

So sad to hear that news, Amyjo. Sending love and deepest condolences to you and your family.

I know I am not alone in enjoying the compassion and eloquence of your posts. I hope that you can gain a modicum of comfort and strength from the love of your virtual RfM family. So sorry

Hugs, AmyJo.

May the smiles of warm memories cross your lips as the tears cross your cheeks.

<3 <3 <3

I am so sorry Amyjo. I hope you can find solice that his body is done with being in pain.

I'm sorry Amyjo
I feel for you.
I've been there
No words express.

M@t

My condolences Amyjo.

Oh Amyjo - I'm sorry. Hang in there honey.

So sorry for this pain.

All I can offer is prayer. God comfort, keep and bless you and your entire family.

Condolences. Whether the passing is expected or sudden it is never easy for family.

Amyjo, dear, I am SO sorry!

Coming from my Social Security background, I have to ask: is your SIL at least 60 years old? She may very well be eligible for Social Security benefits. If there are minor children still at home, or "disabled adult children" who have never married, they may be eligible as well.

Sending warmest thoughts and cyber-hugs to you from High Desert Country -

catnip

Hi Catnip,

SIL is a year younger than me, she has two years to go until she reaches 60.

She hasn't worked a day outside the home since the day she married my brother. He was 63. Though he hadn't retired yet. I kept asking him when he was going to. He just kept plugging away. Albeit on a modified schedule.

She'll probably move in with one of her children, and be able to collect SS benefits as his widow. I imagine they saved some. They own their home, but it's too big for her to take care of or live there by herself. Their youngest is or has recently graduated from high school. They raised a very large family: 13 children. Ten of them adopted. Brother and SIL recently celebrated their 40th anniversary.

My brother worked very hard to make a life for his family. Being a dad and husband mattered more to him than anything.

I'm still in shock. One of his daughters is having a difficult time coming to terms with it thus far. He just stopped breathing this morning. By the time paramedics got to where they live in the country, it was too late to save him.

My condolences AmyJo. May he rest in peace.

I am sorry - prayers for you and your family.

I am so sorry to hear this news, Amyjo. He sounds like the big brother that many of us wish we had. May you and your family grieve together and find comfort. May you be a stalwart for your sister-in-law and your nieces and nephews. Lots of hugs.

Thanks for all the loving messages.

It is comforting to read them here.

Today has been rough to get through. The funeral details won't be known for another day or two. It's a lot to process - he's my first sibling to die since we lost two siblings in early childhood.

Losing my parents was hard. It is no dress rehearsal for a sibling.

I'm sorry, Amyjo. *HUGS*

I was just thinking that losing a parent is so hard. Losing your contemporary, your sibling, would be so ... confusing. Like it's not supposed to happen. I'm sure it's devastating. :o(

My condolences to you sweet Amyjo.
I'm so sorry.


Wishing you love and strength.

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, Amyjo. Hugs and prayers to you.

I'm so sorry. May you have peace in your heart during this difficult time.

I’m so sorry Amyjo, the loss of a sibling is hard to bear. I hope you and your other siblings will draw strength from one another as you adjust to your loss. Sending you my deepest sympathy.

Amyjo, I am so sorry for your loss. I am sending you a virtual hug. My deepest sympathy.

Amyjo,

Hugs, love and positive thoughts to you and your family. Keep you chin up and remember all the good times.

I was able to make reservations this morning to be there.

It does feel surreal. How can this be happening? Death is a part of life. But why now? Why ever?

It's just the way things work. I'm sorry for your loss. I know that shell shocked feeling.You'll be in a fog for a while. My Dad died when I was 22. My Mom went to pieces and couldn't function. I had never ever been to a funeral and had to plan my Dad's. It sucked. Everyone deals with death differently and on different timelines. You take care of you. Do not let others try to dictate your mourning timeline. Hang in there.

I do so feel for you amyjo. I'm glad you can be there.

Condolences.

Words mean so little but you do have my heartfelt condolences.

Safe travels to the funeral.
And comforting thoughts for you and his family.

I have lost the actual Yiddish for this but in English it translates as

"Life is a mixture of raisins and almonds."

It is a mixture of the sweet and the bitter. The bitterness at his passing is mixed with the sweetness of having him in your life.

I hope in time the sweetness is what remains.

That is beautiful.

I wouldn't remember the Yiddish. I hope to remember this in English. It's a treasure.

Thank you all so much for your loving thoughts and well wishes.

It means a lot.

I am sorry about your loss. My mom died 50 years ago and I still miss her.

Dear Amyjo,
I'm so sorry for your grievous loss. I'm thinking of you and sending my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your dear big brother. Sending biggest hugs from this MexMom.

Amyjo, my own bother is catastrophicly ill. I dread being in your shoes so very soon with that horrible phone call.

On this forum, my favorite thing has been chances to brag about my big bro's heroics.

From knowing you here on RfM, I can only imagine a brother of yours being just as brilliant and special. At some future point, would you mind telling us about him?

We will listen.

I know it was very hard when my dear exmo sister died. I'll always miss her.

I'm so sorry for your loss.