Hi...newly registered but have been lurking and reading for awhile. Husband and I were a classic Mormon story (non-Utah, thank whoever) of RM marries licked cupcake in the temple and has beautiful future missionaries. We have evolved in the last two years and have decided together that we won't be raising our kids in this cult any longer.

I was talking to a family member who is a closet almost exmo. He attends the ward I grew up in, and apparently the good, concerned members there have been asking for months if we are "inactive" or "have WOW problems" because most of our social media pics show me in tank tops. (How tank tops became WOW issues I have no idea).

What really chapped my behind, however, was questions if we were "anti-church". None of these people from this ward or our former ward have contacted us in any form, so they have zero basis for this assumption. In curiosity, I went back through my Facebook posts and finally found what got their Gs in a wad: a meme I shared a few months back...

"It doesn't matter how many Sundays you sit in church or if you think you are saved. God sees what you do and how you treat people. That's all that really matters."

Apparently it REALLY offends the Mormies when people figure out they don't need them or their little grey envelopes.

The wicked take the truth to be hard.

Yes, give your money to the local zoo. They have much nicer animals.

LOL

Their immediate instinct is to look for character flaws they can blame in anyone who doesn't look or speak Mormon enough.


If someone leaves, they need to be assured that it was the PERSON to blame and not the church.


They saw cues that you are acting and thinking independently. The villainization of Ms. starbucks is on!


My advice at this point is for you to be thinking about how you want this to end. If you resign, you are making a statement that you rejected the church on your terms because it does not meet your standards. If you end up being excommunicated, that confirms to all the sheep that the problem was you not being able to keep their standards. Many do have success doing neither, but you will be watched and people will come to the conclusion that you are not able to be righteous and wish you could (eye roll).


My other advice is for you to take time to truly enjoy your family and follow your bliss in this big world beyond Mormonism. I once had a Mormon friend who traveled the world to attend Mormon temples. What a limited perception when everything is made into something about Mormonism. Enjoy a bigger perspective! Study and Live.


Welcome! This place is sure to frustrate, entertain, and get you thinking.

Although what you are experiencing is not real ugly, it could get that way. Suddenly folks you thought were friends or at best acquaintances, whose company you may of enjoyed on Sundays or at church functions, will turn on you. It happens to most of us. Congrats on getting out as a family. That has been a familiar post lately and is good news that more whole families are free.

Thanks for the welcome! No one in our ward ever said hi to the noobs. :)

There were no friends for us in the church, so no loss there. Our families are members, but we stopped caring what they think a long time back. We don't advertise that we stopped attending and they are too cowardly to ask hard questions directly to the source - they always just whisper about it to themselves and come to their own warped conclusions.

There's nothing they can ex us for. At this point, our only obvious "sin" is not attending church, and our current ward believes we are attending our former ward, and vice versa, which I find hysterical. We don't post anything on social media more damning than my aforementioned tank tops, and I have no intention of anyone finding the liquor cabinet. So they have no choice but to add us to the rest of the majority of LDS members on the inactives list.

Oddly enough, our former bishop's wife posting bikini pics on Facebook is A-OK, but tank tops....the shame!!!

I think it’s the injustice of it all that burns most people. You are punished for uncovering the truth. Thrown out like so much trash not for what you did, but for a mentality that they hang onto. It’s like they lay the trap and blame you for falling into it.

There are good parts of Mormonism, but the good doesn’t outweigh the bad. It doesn’t even come close, as you’ll discover as you escape the Mormon bubble. I like to compare Mormonism to a $50 cup of coffee. I’m talking regular coffee. If you like coffee, at least don’t overpay. Suddenly the scene from Austin Powers comes to mind.

The journey ends better than you can possibly imagine. Just hang in there.

As for TSCC, they can only hope there is no God because if there is, if there really is no escape from justice. Be careful about summoning Old Testament God. He might not be on your side. Joseph was a pervert in so many ways. To say that he was a fool is to miss the point. He knew exactly what he was doing and he did it anyway. It’s just who he was. The jaws of hell were wide open and all Joe could say was “come and get me”. Well they did, and good for them, but they let the real bad guy get away. The mad genius of dying to spread his poison can hardly be held against him. Hats off to such a mastermind.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2018 02:08PM by babyloncansuckit.

Good for you. Sounds like you might escape without a lot of consequence.

I studied my way out. It drives my relatives crazy that my family is happy and successful while God keeps giving them challenges. I guess they think in the next life God will reward them and punish me. What a weird way to justify defending the religion.


Life may not always be fair or easy, but living well is the best revenge.

But maybe escape isn’t enough. Muster the torches and burn it to the ground. My goodness Joseph. So clever.

Here’s the thing about knowing malevolence finding you. You are part of its thing. The perverse energy it feeds off of. You are there to end it. Letting it go to hurt other people is wrong. That you were hurt so deeply was the point. I’m with hie, let’s kill this monster. If you really want to slay dragons, I have the belly of the beast. What do you say we cut this bitch wide open?

Joseph, you messed with the wrong guy. Now I get the why. Yes, I get to be the kid with the matches. But I’m the grown up now. Sorry, the matches came to me. So TSCC, get with the program. Joseph was all about the fire, so burn baby burn. Burn in Hell, motherfuckers.

Note to the Uncle Ricos: I like metaphors. Not advocating arson.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/09/2018 10:37PM by babyloncansuckit.

Yes, and anyone who looks forward to God punishing me in the next life--that person is not my friend! Likewise, anyone who is hoping for me or my children to fail. People with those thoughts are my enemies. Liars are my enemies. I feel so strange and befuddled that I ever considered certain Mormons to be my friends, in the first place.

I agree with starbuck and this quote:

"...they always just whisper about it to themselves and come to their own warped conclusions."

Not one Mormon has looked me in the eye and asked me to tell them exactly WHY I left the cult. Lots of them have TOLD me why I left, and none of them have been right.

Welcome to RFM. It's nice to have someone HEAR you, and understand, isn't it! You have a good grasp on the situation, and you will do fine. In fact, look forward to enjoying life more.

Congratulations on keeping your family together, through all of this!

Like Dagney implies, throwing suspicion at you is how they justify not throwing suspicion at the Mormon church. And the Mormon church cannot hold up to scrutiny. And tho they would never admit that, they know it.

Making sure everyone who leaves is a weak disobedient sinner is how they assure themselves they are on the right track. They take the easy route, the Mormons, and *assume* you are a lost sheep. Speaks volumes about them and nothing about you.

I would take it as a compliment what they are doing. Really. It's kind of funny or will be to you someday?

So happy for you that you are getting out together and the kids too. Fantastic.

I believe every other general conference has a talk about how people leave when they are offended by a little thing or they feel embarrassed by their own sins. In my case there was no sin or offense from someone... I just wanted to get off the hampster wheel, and when I did I realized how better my life was without the TSCC.
It seems that most people on this site don't fit into the offended member or embarrassed sinner categories. I believe the TSCC purposefully perpetuates this misconception.
Blame the cult, not the sheep that are still in it. We all are former sheep.

“I believe the TSCC purposefully perpetuates this misconception.”

Maybe so, but I came to that conclusion on my own. That means there is an implicit subculture that automatically guides that conclusion. Mormonism is basically an institutionally imposed mental autoimmune disorder. Joseph set it up to be exactly that. It was no accident. Nobody has the foresight or insight to end it because only the truly mindfucked rise within the organization.

Notice how GBH went to extreme lengths to avoid meeting his maker. He woke up at the end, terrified of what awaited him. Such is the fate of all unwise stewards on this ship of fools.

Welcome. Pleased to have you as an RFM friend. As long as "the church" can blame and shame those who leave, they can avoid dealing with all the doctrinal, social and historical issues that cause thinking people to question the cult.

Wonderful that you have discovered the taste of freedom from the MormonCult.

I totally relate to members never asking you, only others, what is going on. Hmmm...why is that? If you "know" you have the truth, shouldn't you run to find out why someone you care about is seemingly struggling? When this happened to me, when I felt that I was being spied upon and reported to the bishop, I could not believe it. I felt like my home, my neighborhood, my family was violated.....what would they do next? Call the police?

Truly, I hope that you will discover with each passing moment, how amazing life is without being smothered in the silly rules, obligations, and time restraints of being Mormon, but mostly, you will discover what FREEDOM really is.

Well sure, they need to find a way to blame you somehow. Feeling superior and (self-)righteous is all they have left, after the cult takes all their time and money.

Well, perhaps you can coach your relative to respond, "Perhaps you should ask her." Or the traditional, "Why do you need to know?"

The Mormon church has traditionally taught that the three reasons people leave are that they are "lazy, offended, or wanting to sin." In other words, the church slanders those who leave. What type of organization does that?

Did you know that in mainstream Christianity a traditional reason for leaving a particular church is, "doctrinal differences"? Why is it that the Mormons need to slander those who differ from them?

summer Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well, perhaps you can coach your relative to
> respond, "Perhaps you should ask her." Or the
> traditional, "Why do you need to know?"
>
> The Mormon church has traditionally taught that
> the three reasons people leave are that they are
> "lazy, offended, or wanting to sin." In other
> words, the church slanders those who leave. What
> type of organization does that?
>
> Did you know that in mainstream Christianity a
> traditional reason for leaving a particular church
> is, "doctrinal differences"? Why is it that the
> Mormons need to slander those who differ from
> them?

Really good points. And why do the Mormons feel the need to slander those that leave? Because that's what the toxic partner in a relationship does when the victim finally gets the courage to leave. They have to make sure they aren't perceived as the bad guy, and as others pointed out, they need to feel justified in their cognitive dissonance that THEY ARE RIGHT.

“What type of organization does that?”

The mafia. Turncoats, stool pigeons, rat bastards, apostates. Wear it with pride.

Why? Because they are a cult. Google 10 top characteristics of a cult. Mormonism hits all the check boxes.

starbucks Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> (How tank tops became WOW issues I have no idea).

That's a great question. Back in former times sleeveless tops
were not taught against. There are Church-produced films from
the 50s that show Young Mormon women at church functions wearing
sleeveless tops.

However this aspect of fashion presented a problem. When a girl
got married and went through the Endowment ceremony she started
wearing garments which had sleeves on them. There was (and
still is) a strict "no tucking" policy regarding garmies, so
many of these girls suddenly found a large portion of their
wardrobe no longer wearable.

The Church wanted the young women to start wearing garment-
friendly clothing even before attending the Temple. But temple
stuff and garment stuff is that super "sacred not secret" stuff
that nobody talks about except indirectly in non-specific ways.

So the POWERS THAT BE at the COB got the brilliant idea of
making it about MODESTY. Yes, sleeveless tops are immodest!
They show of those oh-so-sexy shoulders that should be covered
and only seen by your husband. They put stories in THE FRIEND
about a little girl whose (obviously spiritually clueless) aunt
gets her a sunsuit for her birthday. But she feels a bad spirit
wearing it. So Mom gives her a T-shirt to wear under it and now
the "spirit" isn't making her feel bad any more.

Then it got weird. Since it was about basic modesty, it must
transcend just being a Mormon rule, right? So, since most of
the Public School officials in Utah are Mormon, the no-
sleeveless-top rule became a basic modesty rule in Utah schools.
This has lead to stories going nationwide about girls being
barred from attending their own high-school prom because they
showed up in a sleeveless dress.

So TSCC's dishonesty about why they're against sleeveless tops
spills over into church-state separation.

Gotta love those conniving Brethren.

Wow, baura, I had no idea.

That explains the completely idiotic outfits I saw at church where they bought an "indecent" dress and stuck a tshirt under it.

What's next? Those super sexy toes?

I contributed to an LDS column in Meridian several years ago where the columnist talked about a former bishop of hers claiming that showing toes was immodest and that nipples be covered in bandaids lest they show through fabric.

Someone had WAY too much sex on the mind, methinks.

Tank tops are the first step on a slippery slope leading to tattoos. Great to have you on board!

BYU Boner Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Tank tops are the first step on a slippery slope
> leading to tattoos. Great to have you on board!


Oops..too late.

...and everybody knows (don't they?) that everyone who has ever partaken in evil alcohol (a cold beer) was wearing a tank top. So, clearly, tank tops and beer go together...like Brooks Bros. suits and Cosmopolitans!

:)

The first question to ask someone is “If the church were false, would you want to know?” Surprisingly, the answer is often “No”. In that case, there’s no point.

Here’s a quick litmus test. What kind of prophet institutes polygamy? The real life results of it are always bad. You can go to any polygamous culture on the planet and see for yourself. Psychologists have studied it and written papers. There’s just no way Joseph could have been right about that.

Furthermore, what does that say about those who don’t denounce the old ways? They don’t practice polygamy now, but they would if they could. They believe it will be practiced in heaven. Joseph made this stuff stick. He was some piece of work.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/10/2018 10:41AM by babyloncansuckit.

>> "How tank tops became WOW issues I have no idea."

Women in tank tops drink booze, smoke cigarettes and pot, and get tattoo's.....every mormon knows that! And I've heard some don't eat meat sparingly too!

/s

Why are these people able to see you on social media?

Sillyrabbit Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Why are these people able to see you on social
> media?


Because we are trying to make a slow fading away, not a sudden defriending of everyone on social media. Our goal is to slowly be forgotten, and flick people off like fleas (errr....defriend them) one or two at a time. Since both wards believe we are attending the other, we are falling through the cracks right now and I would like to hold off the "concerned visits and phone calls" as long as possible.

There are already questions being asked because I left our ward and stake RS groups on Facebook.

On another note, I kinda want to stick around to see the asshattery that will ensue when all the Mormons decide that my husband and I are sinners or apostate. They have absolutely ZERO proof or knowledge of anything in our lives besides pics of me obviously not wearing Gs and our nonattendance and nonpayment of blood money (oops - tithing). I have a feeling they will make something up to fill in the blanks, and I'm going to get some popcorn, vodka, and allow them to cement my decision to leave all the hypocrisy behind.