BICs with pioneer ancestry often stay forever, but I see these Teen and Adult converts as marked. How long can they rationalize or ignore the negative information?
I was following one such convert last year because I loved her married name (it was so sunshiney!) and her blog. Then she became enlightened, and actually ended up divorcing her BIC husband - and her blogs took a different, more somber (but more honest) turn. She retained her married name which is still the kind of name that makes you think of sunshine and warm skies. She wasn't giving her name up! She did discover about TSCC. Sadly, it cost her her marriage to her TBM BIC.
Her married name is one of my Mormon pioneer ancestors. It's possible I'm related to her now ex-husband. It is apparent it is she who is the enlightened one out of her ex-in-laws. It was after her father died (a never Mo,) that the change occurred. Life happens when we're making other plans ...
I'm glad if she got out while still young. I am watching someone on YouTube now who is a convert married to a BIC of many generations. She has learned of the bad information, but keeps finding ways to rationalize it. I did lots of rationalizing at first, too. She seems to realize that if she becomes an unbeliever, she will most likely lose her husband. She acts desperate to keep him, but I wonder what will happen years down the road.
My mom was a convert, years into her marriage to my dad. She never gave it up. Remained devoted til she died. Never mind she didn't feel worthy because she lived with my stepdad for years before they finally married in Nevada. Or her tobacco habit following dad's and her divorce that kept her from setting foot back inside a Mormon chapel. My dad was BIC, it was he who was more a skeptic of Moism than my Mama was capable of.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2018 09:28PM by Amyjo.
She died in 2000. I doubt it would have mattered one way or other to her beliefs. She grew up Methodist in Utah. Spent her life longing for family and connection. Both her parents were orphans, so mom grew up without an extended family. TSCC gave her a sense of identity and connection she craved. She'd been doing genealogy since she was 10 yrs old, searching for missing relatives. She was a shoe-in to TSCC. One of dad's uncle's told mom when they were newlyweds that she would convert, it was only a matter of time. He got that right. She did after one of my brother's died of early childhood cancer. That was a wake-up call for her and dad to quit boozing and smoking. That lasted until their divorce, 12 years later. They went pretty straight for a while. I'm glad they did if only to make the second hand smoke go away. After their divorce they fell back into old habits. They were at least more authentic then. She never doubted Mormonism. She didn't question it either. My dad had a more healthy skepticism. He recommended to me after I left with my children, to try a Congregational church like he used to go to when he lived in Massachusetts. He also thought I'd like Judaism. Which is what I am presently. My dad was a wise sage for a BIC 5th generation Mormon. He had an open mind, and was not dogmatic.
Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 09/22/2018 09:51PM by Amyjo.
In 2000, the information wasn't viral yet. I was still a True Blue in 2000. Convinced that I would be loyal to the faith no matter what. I didn't run into shocking information until about 2005 or 2006. I rationalized it until about 2007, when I ran into things that absolutely terrified me! Oh no, I thought, the church isn't true. But I ran to Jeff Lindsay for help and his work truly pacified me. More bad news later--went to Terryl Givens. So I bounced for apologetic comfort until 2014, when I seriously questioned how many crazy things I could continue holding up. The shelf was seriously cracking! Finally in 2015, I left the church.
Bless your heart, it took me along time too before my shelf finally broke for good. I see sawed a little at first, though was pretty sure from things going on at church that "all was not well in Zion."
Resigned officially by 2005. Left first when my children were grade schoolers in '94. Out of nostalgia returned following parents death in 2000, two months apart. (around 2001-2004 I went back but was much more discerning and questioning leading up to resignation.)
My mom would've hung on no matter what the evidence said. She also thought OJ was innocent.
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 09/23/2018 12:30AM by Amyjo.
I wish I had gotten out in 2005 instead of waiting all the way until 2015. I could have better changed my life around. Lucky Eric K got out much sooner, starting this place in 1995. I would love to have known way back then. I didn't have access to the internet until almost 1999. Not permanently until 2000.
Josephina Wrote: ------------------------------------------------------- > I wish I had gotten out in 2005 instead of waiting > all the way until 2015. I could have better > changed my life around.
Hindsight is 20/20, isn't it?! What we don't know can and does sometime hurt us. I found out taking the long way myself. Better late than never. I've always been a late bloomer anyway.
Lucky Eric K got out much > sooner, starting this place in 1995. I would love > to have known way back then. I didn't have access > to the internet until almost 1999. Not permanently > until 2000.
I found RfM by chance encounter. I'd been out years before learning about ex-Mormon sites online. There are several others. This one has a likable format and a comprehensive list of materials that are helpful if you need to research something. It's perhaps the most user friendly one I know of online.
BIC's may stay in because of family pressures. But converts also may stay in to save face. After all, they can't blame parents for their stupidity - they chose to accept the fraud all on their own.
My convert dad is much more devoted than my pioneer descendant mom.
My convert mother would have stayed faithful had I not taught her, little by little, the truths of Mormonism. She wasn't looking to be devout, TBM, or any manner of strong Mormon. She always believed she had just joined another Christian church with nice people. She was in no way a church scholar. Her only Christian belief was that she should simply believe in Christ and try to be a good person. The deep doctrine and heavy indoctrination of Mormonism kind of went way over her head. I'm really only glad I got her out so she would use the rather large sums of money she gave to LDS, Inc. for more charitable purposes. She was grateful to learn the truth and now picks more transparent and well researched, reputable charities.