Posted by:
Beth
(
)
Date: October 06, 2018 05:02PM
My grandmother would straighten my cousins' hair with a hot comb. While they were getting burned on their ears and the backs of their necks (you know, cooties in the kitchen), I'd watch wishing I could have it done, too. They'd be like, "Are you crazy?"
Since I've been an adult, almost every hair stylist has tried to get me to get one of those Brazilian hair treatments, and I'm like, "I can do that on my own with lye and not have to keep coming back."
Sometimes I look in the mirror and think, "Well, my hair decided to go full on ethnic today," and move on. :D <-- it took a long time to think that way.
You might like this book if you haven't read it: _No Telephone to Heaven_
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_Telephone_to_Heaven I took a class called "Language and Social Identity."
@ Done and Done: Thank you for the poem - I hadn't read it before, either. And thank you. I'm pretty certain that being accepted for who you are, fighting labels and struggling with identity is part of the human condition. What does it mean to be a man? A woman? An ex-Mormon? Who gets to choose the labels that have been and continue to be attached to me (us)? Labels from external forces have been internalized and compound my struggle with identity, an identity that will always evolve. I think that's true for all of us. It's immutable characteristics that seem to trip up this society. "What do you mean you're _______? You look _______." That's across the spectrum of race and gender when people don't conform to others' idea of what it means to be a woman or a man or ______________.
I think the Millenials have it right. You don't have to understand what it is to be ________ . It's impossible to do so. BUT if you want to listen and learn, if you're curious, and I hold myself to the same standard, that's what matters. When my kid was 15, he dyed his hair fire-engine red. It was damn near blinding, and my parents FREAKED. I told them, "Until someone holds you down and dyes your hair red, don't worry about it. He's in high school. It's unlikely he'll be able to do it as an adult. For all we know, he might go bald, so give him this, huh?"
/soapbox (Customary apologies for typos and such)
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/06/2018 05:03PM by Beth.