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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 12:46AM

Has anyone else noticed that the more recent prophets seem to be avoiding the "R" word as much as possible whenever they issue guidance and instruction to the flock?

Joseph Smith could get direct revelation whenever it suited him. At the drop of a hat or at the dropping of his pants.

Emma giving him backtalk and misery just because he's getting some action on the side? No problem. "Hey, god, how about a revelation? Yeah, this one is needed quick cuz on account of trouble with the missus. I have it all written out already. You just need to confirm that it's a real revelation. Great! Confirmation received. Catch you later, alligator."

Of course people like Kimball, Hincklemeister, Monsonator and Nelsonotronic are all "called" and "sustained" as "REVELATORS". But for some reason, they seem to choke on the word revelation. They just can't quite make themselves declare their own words as being revelation.

The old-school guys did it all the time, without hesitation. I have no doubt that Brigham Young would have called one of his own farts a revelation, without even blinking. "And with that rather noisy and pungent fart, I do declare that God has revealed to me that this meeting must be adjourned."

Not so for the modern guys. They get "impressions." We're in the age of Mormon Impressionism.

Objectively speaking, their pronouncements are not very impressive as impressions go, but these guys do seem to be quite impressed by their own thoughts...so much so that they do go so far as to say that it's God who's doing the impressing. That's impressive self-deception. Considering how banal their instructions and guidance are, I'm quite impressed! "The Lard has impressed upon my mind that our men should wear white shirts." Wow! That's why we needed the restoration. No doubt about it.

The Lord is now impressing upon my mind that I should cut down on desserts. But the Devil is impressing upon my mind that one big slice of chocolate cake with vanilla ice cream on top is a good way to celebrate the beginning of a new era of not eating desserts.

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Posted by: chipace ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 01:06AM

#needs_to_do_more_prophet_sh!t

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Posted by: Wally Prince ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 04:44AM

#time_to_dust_off_the_peepstone_and_turn_it_on

and

#just_check_the_batteries

and

#it_worked_before_try_banging_on_it

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Posted by: alsd ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 03:04AM

This has to be one of the best posts ever!

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Posted by: donbagley ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 03:19AM

Ha ha! Very good.

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Posted by: readwrite-now ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 04:59AM

Any impulse is repressive

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Posted by: Dave the Atheist ( )
Date: October 11, 2018 10:33AM

But ... but ... but they're profits !!!

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