I didn’t even know any action initiated by my ex (we were divorced in 2009) was in the works...I thought they had to notify you/get a response from you? Is it because I am the female? I haven’t gone to church in a couple of years and don’t believe but I was still hurt. Has the policy changed on this?

I thought the purpose of the temple was to allow a guy to marry as many women as he wanted. That’s what Joseph used it for, secret marriages to teenage brides, women who were already married, etc. so it doesn’t make sense that you would get a letter unless the new Mrs Dweeb insisted on it. Maybe she doesn’t want you tagging along in the CK.

babyloncansuckit Wrote:
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> I thought the purpose of the temple was to allow a
> guy to marry as many women as he wanted. That’s
> what Joseph used it for, secret marriages to
> teenage brides, women who were already married,
> etc. so it doesn’t make sense that you would get
> a letter unless the new Mrs Dweeb insisted on it.
> Maybe she doesn’t want you tagging along in the
> CK.

You definitely hit the nail in the head with this....she wants to be the only wife and is probably refusing to be fake sister-wives in the best heaven with me. He isn’t exactly a doer of things he doesn’t have to do so no way was this his idea. It doesn’t even matter so I don’t know why I am upset lol...this is just a testament to the lifelong brainwashing (of me) rearing it’s ugly head again.

Temple marriage is the highest ordinance in the temple. The ordinance is only valid if you keep your temple covenants.

If you aren't wearing your garments, paying your tithing, attending your church meetings, and magnifying your church calling (which you don't have because you aren't active in the church), you forfeit your temple sealing.

So even if you still believed in it. You end being sealed by not being active in the church. At least the letter let's you know the church now considers your sealing dissolved.

Oh the mind games we play. You either believe it or you don't.

Temple marriage is the second-highest ordinance in the temple.

Yep.
Don't think you can get the second anointing without it, either. Based on what "anointed one" shared, it would be impossible, in fact

Yes.

When my TBM mom wanted to re-marry a new TBM suitor after her and my inactive dad divorced, she had to get his permission for a temple cancellation ("temple divorce").

I suspect they did it without asking you because you're the woman.

Which is stupid, but isn't at all out of character for the church.

Are you feeling OK about it?

My Mom got one. I'm thinking it was because the man who wanted

to marry her then was friends with one of the twelve apostles.

she didn't have to jump through any hoops and everyone lived

happily ever after. It pays to be friends with the Big Guys

in the mormon church, trust me.

I am ok-just kind of sad and I don’t know what the source is yet.

I know I am already divorced but it’s like getting notification that you are divorced via a letter but you didn’t even know it was happening. My ex is obvs to blame for being such a weenie that he couldn’t even tell me and obviously the church had my address since I got this letter. I just can’t help but notice the disparity between the hoops I had to jump through when I had to seek a temple cancellation (no, sadly this isn’t my first rodeo) from my first ex and how easy this seemed for my ex.

I hear that you are sad but I encourage you to reframe it, for your sake.

It is really nice when people show themselves for who they are. You and your temple marriage were in the way of your ex. They needed to get rid of you, so to speak.

Thankfully, there are SO many awesome people on the planet and there is every chance you will meet at least one or two of them, probably more. More of a chance of meeting great people who are REAL than the off chance you will meet more religious assholes.

Unless you go to church. But you say you have not attended in a couple years so to that I say, keep doing what works!

carameldreams Wrote:
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> I hear that you are sad but I encourage you to
> reframe it, for your sake

I completely agree....thank you so much for this. I have a lot of friends outside of church and a very full life. I need to allow this to roll off

I'm glad you posted here because that is part of the process, imo! Maybe putting in on paper, if you will, and getting affirmation helps to let it go.

It (letter) is meaningless and cannot take anything away from what you have now. That was a shallow life, yes? These games, rituals, Simon Says...so it isn't rejection NOW and you do not want that life anyway.

I used to get really offended by baptism for the dead, for example. But I had to get right with myself and remember, 'It is meaningless except for the meaning I am giving it right now!' How could I be pissed off by something that isn't even real? I kept reminding myself of that until it didn't bother me anymore to hear of temple work.

You suffered enough! Wish the ex and his soon to be temple bride well in your mind as bitterness causes trouble in our lives and we don't need that! You are free and even the church says so. Ha! Guess they finally got up to speed with what you already know.

You made a great point. It's real if we choose it to be real. The power of the illusion is in our own minds.

The hardest part of leaving the church for me was dealing with family who still believed. Fortunately more of my family have left the church and it's the ones I would least expect.

Life is interesting.

Saucie is right! I tried for 30 years to get a "Cancellation of Sealing"/"Temple Divorce"/"Temple Clearance" for remarriage in the temple/or whatever they called it during whatever year it was that I was re-applying.... The rules kept changing, but never in a woman's favor. My temple husband assaulted me, and almost killed me, but the Mormons don't care about things like spousal abuse, and he was allowed two other temple wives. I was good and faithful and attended and wore the underwear and paid the tithing, and I had a worthy Mormon husband wanting to marry me in the temple, and our own children ready to be sealed to us. Finally, after 30 years of the run-around, I stumbled onto the truth, and got my own "temple cancellation"--by resigning, with my husband and children.

Also, the Mormon cult leaders all agreed that my children by my second husband would all be sealed to the thug TEMPLE husband, as his possessions though they were born years later, and never even met him. My thug ex and his family stalked me for a while, claiming there was still a connection. Mormons have no respect for the LAW, and LEGAL DIVORCE!

If you get married someday, be grateful that your Mormon temple ex husband can not lay claim to your children! Celebrate your freedom!

I'm a female, and my old GA connections are long deceased.

In the middle of all my turmoil, my hairdresser, in her 20's got married in the temple, but she and her husband decided a few years later, that they "didn't want to be married to each other anymore," so her Daddy got her a temple divorce. Daddy was high up in the Mormon cult, and was a close personal friend of President Hinckley. She complained that it took so long--over three months--to go through.

Sowhatnow--It wouldn't make any difference if you agreed to the cancellation or not--you are the woman. I have had friends that just did not respond at all to such a letter. Yes, it is absolutely all about the future "Mrs. Dweeb" wanting him all to herself. It's all a bunch of man-made idiocy, to keep women in subjugation. Ugh.

You know what her life will be like, being temple-married to your ex. Congratulations on your divorce. Live happily ever after!

If you are a woman in the church, things like temple divorce,

or needing a bishops help because your TBM husband is beating you

and your children, and you need money to get away and hide from

him, good luck. Those instances are when the misogny of the

church rears its ugly head in favor of the man. I've seen it

happen much too often with the woman suffering simply because

she is the wrong sex. I pity mormon women. They will suffer

alone unless they have a good family.

exminion Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> Also, the Mormon cult leaders all agreed that my
> children by my second husband would all be sealed
> to the thug TEMPLE husband, as his possessions
> though they were born years later, and never even
> met him.

So does this mean I am now officially sealed to my ex-wife's new daughter by her second husband? Neither of us have officially resigned/been excommunicated. I have adopted my new wife's daughters, but as we are not really active, have not been sealed. But the idea of church believing that I am not sealed to my daughters but somehow am sealed to my ex-wife's daughter is completely messed up.

Double post



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/11/2018 08:07PM by carameldreams.

That IS odd. I got a letter telling me my TBM ex wife wanted a sealing cancelation, and I had already resigned!!
It asked for my input, not sure it would have mattered, but theoretically I could have fought it.
Not sure what happened in your case.

GNPE was ex'd after a vicious, deceitful divorce (NO adultery or abuse suggested or claimed) was initiated by her; therefore, I don't expect any such "permission" request should ex DW find another.

BTW, I wish her well considering that ChurchCo did such an effective job of indoctrination on her (LDS since birth), it's not her fault that Honesty, Kindness, Mercy & Compassion along with Repentance & Forgiving weren't on their menu as much as 'Follow the Prophet' were; Oh Well

I sorry that you are going thru another episode of pain especially since you had already put it behind you, at least to some degree.
This coming out of nowhere is not a decent way of doing it.

I appreciate all of you more than you know! Thank you so much for listening and offering your experiences and advice.

I have been remarried for several years and so has he...it is definitely jealousy on his wife’s part (as he has accidentally let her problems with this towards me slip in the past) and I am sure it was mandated as a condition of their sealing now. There are a LOT more factors of course but again, it just doesn’t matter!

It is fine and I need to be the bigger person -thanks so much being so understanding.

Too often we forget that it is US that has the power and not the church. And yet after being indoctrinated for so long we overlook that fact.

The church only has power over us if we give it permission.

Get Behind Me Rusty.

You got a letter you were allowed to keep signed by the first presidency? Frame it. All of the other times I have heard, you weren't allowed to keep a letter like that. Your priesthood leaders would read it to you.

Yes, its because you are a woman that you were told about this after-the-fact. If you were a man, your ex-wife would have to come begging to you for permission to get a sealing cancellation.

Its up to his discretion whether or not he wants to keep you in the after life. You should have been a good molly, so says Mormondo!

I question if it was actually signed be them. I would think autosigner

thedesertrat1 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I question if it was actually signed be them. I
> would think autosigner

I am sure it was an autosigner

Congrats regardless! You've been unsealed by those on high.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/12/2018 04:09PM by Elder Berry.