Posted by:
Wally Prince
(
)
Date: October 16, 2018 01:52AM
I've heard people talk about the concept of "intelligent design" when talking about the world we live in. I grant that it is complex and maybe some engineering was applied. But I'm not so sure about the "intelligent" part of the "intelligent design" concept.
Sex. I don't think god really thought this one through very well.
Basically the purpose of it is to encourage two members of the species to engage in certain squishy, messy actions with each other in order to combine biologically encoded data that, when combined, will initiate the formation of another member of the species.
The perpetuation of the species is dependent upon motivating sufficient numbers of species members to engage in said squishy, messy actions rather than, for example, spending an enjoyable day playing with sticks and eating dead animals.
In order to make people engage in what otherwise would seem like yucky activities, such activities must artificially be made to seem exciting and thrilling.
God solved this problem by making the bodies of species members produce drugs internally. We now call these drugs "hormones." When under the influence of the drugs, people become so irrationally thrilled at the prospect of hugging, smooshing and squishing with each other that they forget all about the sticks and dead animals that they would ordinarily prefer to play with if left to their own undrugged devices.
Seems like an elegant design so far, right? But in practice, the dosages of the drugs need to be carefully calibrated, released only at the right time and coordinated and linked with an appropriate counterparty who is also subject to a precise and focused dosage regime.
But OUR god got lazy and said f*** that. I'm on my break. This is good enough.
So we have a system that is subject to wild mis-calibrations, timing errors and counterparty errors. Too high a dosage at the wrong time and people try to hug, smoosh and squish with telephone poles, trees, bears, reindeer, automobiles and other inappropriate counterparties. Result: species perpetuation failure.
Too small a dosage may result in pre-consummation lack of interest. Result: species perpetuation failure.
Uncoordinated counterparty dosing may lead to failure to connect...as well as many legal issues. Result: species perpetuation failure.
Basically, the side effects of god's design are a huge mess. It seems like a smart god could have easily come up with a much better design for a species perpetuation system. OUR god's solution? Simple. Blame the species members for all of the negative side effects, even though they had no role in the design or engineering.
So here we are.
We're the "lucky" people who got stuck with the lazy, F-student god.
On other worlds, somewhere, governed by the diligent A-student gods, people are experiencing much more elegant systems involving electromagnetically charged tingling for mutually enjoyable recreating, while also enjoying a-sexual reproduction involving the production of large chocolate eggs that grow when implanted on certain glowing trees and, when the time is right, a birthing process implemented by instinctively selected caregivers, who eat away the chocolate shell to reveal the beautiful baby inside.
But no! I had to end up in this world. !$#%!!