How's it going to keep growing without a really good slogan that encapsulates the pure essence of what it means to be a devout Mormon.

I think I have found that perfect slogan. It'll fit on bumper stickers, t-shirts, badges and bookmarks.

"WEAR FUNNY UNDERWEAR AND DO NOT DRINK GREEN TEA!"

That's what Mormonism is really all about. Sure, there are details to be explored. But that's why the slogan is there.

"What about the funny underwear and green tea? I want to learn more."

"Mormon Heaven is Sexy!"

"Righteousness means never having to say you're sorry!"

"Live like your eternity depends upon it."

"The Poor will always be with us, so we've go that going for us!"

"Jesus is divine and his MLM will save you, so sign up now!"

"If mormonism weren't true, don't you think mormons would be the first to sound the alarm? So join us before you die and go to a lesser kingdom...FOREVER!"

"You were born to go to Heaven; get your map from mormonism!"

"Relax! Just because we say so doesn't mean you really have to live with your parents AND your kids for all eternity!"

"You have a minimum of over 100 billion brothers and sisters but yet Heaven will NOT be crowded!"

"As a ghawd, only Jesus will have your cell phone number and there will be no telemarketing calls, EVER!"

"Mormon sex is often impersonal, which is part of the Plan of Salvation."

"It may seem boring to obey all the rules...might as well get used to being a ghawd, right?"

I can't believe no one has offered this one yet:

"Honestly, It's not for everyone"

(recently announced by the Nebraska office of tourism)

“We make dumb look good.”

“The other family that makes you an offer you can’t refuse.”

“Give until it hurts.”

We're anal about everything all the time.

The Mormons have come up with some pretty good slogans on their own:

"We don't know that we teach that."

"Some things that are true aren't very useful"

"The thinking has been done."


But these don't touch the very heart and soul of Mormonism, in the spiritual sense, so I vote for "Wear funny underwear and don't drink green tea."

It has one:

"The thinking has been done."

edit: didn't notice it had already been posted above...!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/19/2018 09:04AM by ificouldhietokolob.

Over the years, I have ventured to ask a few Mormons I semi-trusted what they thought about it.

Never mind the Mollies and Peter Priesthoods. They have already bought it.

By and large, most of the Mormons I asked didn't believe that anyone had ever had the chutzpah to say such a thing. Wasn't it published in the Ensign or another church magazine, in the mid-
1940s? Anybody have the original source?

When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done.

When the prophet speaks, the debate is over.

We can be confident that they will not lead us astray.

Citations:

“When our leaders speak, the thinking has been done. When they propose a plan–it is God’s Plan. When they point the way, there is no other which is safe. When they give directions, it should mark the end of controversy, God works in no other way. To think otherwise, without immediate repentance, may cost one his faith, may destroy his testimony, and leave him a stranger to the kingdom of God.” (Ward Teachers Message, Deseret News, Church Section p. 5, May 26, 1945.)

“We are most fortunate to have a living prophet at the head of the Church to guide us, and all who heed his counsel will be partakers of the promised blessings which will not be enjoyed by those who fail to accept his messages…Whose side are we on? When the prophet speaks the debate is over” (N. Eldon Tanner, “The Debate is Over,” Ensign, August 1979, p. 2).

“As we look to the prophets for guidance, we can be confident that they will not lead us astray” (L. Aldin Porter, “Search the Prophets,” Ensign, April 2002, p. 31).

God will never allow the Prophet/Top Leader guy of the church to lead it astray. It's like a 10-year-old box of cornflakes that says "Fresh" on the box. Does saying it make it so?

If the Prophet/Top Leader guy says that you can trust him because God will never let him lead you astray, well...what if he was actually leading you astray when he said that and God let him do it? It's a logical conundrum, a riddle, a funny puzzle. But it's not a statement I can have any high confidence in.

This is Wilford Woodruff speaking as the Prophet/President/Top Prophet Guy when the Manifesto came out:

"The Lord will never permit me or any other man who stands as President of this Church to lead you astray. It is not in the programme. It is not in the mind of God. If I were to attempt that, the Lord would remove me out of my place, and so He will any other man who attempts to lead the children of men astray from the oracles of God and from their duty. (Sixty-first Semiannual General Conference of the Church, Monday, October 6, 1890, Salt Lake City, Utah. Reported in Deseret Evening News, October 11, 1890, p. 2.)

I like the old standard:

"I'm a Latter-day Saint
I Pay, Pray & Obey"

Shinehah--that's probably the most accurate slogan, but that old standard needs updating, now that superfluous prayers have been eliminated from the old 3-hour block.

"Pay and Obey"

Shorter, simpler, even more spot-on

We'll ___BLANK___ you before you know it

Do you mean the essence of stale, musty carpet with cheerios ground into it, with a subtle hint of disposable diapers that lingers in every mormon church? That might be hard to get into a bumper sticker unless its a scratch and sniff.

Roy G Biv Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Do you mean the essence of stale, musty carpet
> with cheerios ground into it, with a subtle hint
> of disposable diapers that lingers in every mormon
> church? That might be hard to get into a bumper
> sticker unless its a scratch and sniff.

Forgot the cloth walls...

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 10/23/2018 11:08PM by GNPE.

We're all walking to the Promised Land (aka Missouri);the people there now will Welcome us with Open Arms, we KNOW you'll love it there!

Old farts ruin all our fun.

+1000

Let us put you in touch with your local franchisee; please give me your address, email, & phone!

I borrowed this from someone's moniker:

"Every member a janitor."

"Want to learn more about a religion whose followers wear magic panties and refuse to drink green tea? Call this number..."

"From giant Quakers on the Moon to magical underwear, learn about Mormonism, now!"

We as a church can do No Wrong; BUT YOU WILL!

The underwear we wear is more important than how we treat people.

"Young men, your salvation comes down to one thing: what you do with your penis! If you let your penis point the way, it will lead you down the road to ruin and damnation! Holy Jesus, did you see Sis. Jamison this morning!!?? How'd you like to populate worlds without end with her! Now, where were we...? Oh, yes, if you use your penis for personal pleasure, you will be delivering yourself to the adversary; he won't have to do a thing, you will have done it for him!

"So let this be your guiding light: 'Always never be aroused until you marry in the Temple!' Remember this or burn in hell!"
--J. Avery West, Delta, UT 1st Ward Deacon's Quorum Advisor, the little snots!

elderolddog Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

> "So let this be your guiding light: 'Always never
> be aroused until you marry in the Temple!'
> Remember this or burn in hell!"
> --J. Avery West, Delta, UT 1st Ward Deacon's
> Quorum Advisor, the little snots!


On top of lousy doctrine, terrible grammar/sentence construction.
My jr. high school English teacher, Ms. Shilling: Spinning in her grave (If she's dead & buried, that is)

The few, the gullible, the Mormons! (Well, the members of the multi billion dollar corporate cult masquerading as a church and formerly known as Mormons).

I see what you did there Norma hahah

To rework a bit of Bill Maher: When Christianity doesn't have enough bullsh!t for you.

The Glory of [Our] God is Ignorance.

After all, when you go back and see the first black and white (newspaper like) editions of the official church magazine (I think it started in the late 1800's) it said at the top of the first page of each edition, "The Glory of God is Intelligence." That slogan has been used for decades in mormon meetings. It's a familiar one. So why not adapt it to be more truthful?

More slogans:

Our God is Money.

Where financials are kept secret.

Endure to the end...tithe, tithe, tithe!

P.s. I had to enter a code to make this post: NNHNM. Wow the BoM might be true! (joke) Oops, no vowels, oh well.

The glory of ghawd is only what I give him.

Don't believe in us?
Ask if we care.

You think we are nice?
You just wait!

Just believe what we say...life in the Mormon matrix is awesome!!

We are not who we pretend to be.

"Mormonism, where you never, ever take off your mask!"

"Mormonism, where if you die and don't go Heaven, we'll cheerfully refund your money."

"Mormonism, where if you're not male, it sucks to be you."

"We're the 'Normons'" [The No More, Not So Normal, Mormons]

Want To Meet Us? We won't tell you when we meet!
Want to know what we believe and how we worship?

We don't! Think

M@t

'murica's own shit-for-brains cult.

Mormonism: Servility and endurance is everything!

Mormonism: You'll never be or give enough!

Mormonism: You're just a number to us!

Mormonism: You'll be a member. It's just a matter of time!

Hie to Kolob
And Bye to this world!

Our church is true,
Just ask Joseph Smith

Curelom tastes like chicken!

Want to be more than a man?
Then be a Morman!

Don't have enough to do?
Give us a call
And we'll give you a calling

Mormonism:
We have gold tablets
Pearl of great price
And keys of the Priesthood
What do you have?

Do you ever feel like a cog in a wheel?
Join us,you'll fit right in!

LOL ooh so true

Jesus used to be a Mormon. Then Rusty Nelson stabbed him in the back...

The Church of the Picked-On

It fits right in as to how they have always seen themselves from the cult's inception. They were persecuted and picked on, never the persecutors and always the innocent who were driven from place to place until they finally had to flee allll the way to the Great Basin.

Jesus Wants You to be His Bitch.

BECOME A GOD!

Talk to some of our representatives to see if Godhood is for you. We have been in the god making business for close to 200 years.

Want to GET LOST?
FOLLOW US!

M@t

..."What's in your wallet?"

..."We have a Temple Recommend and 10% of your hard earned money!"

I want to wear a badge that says ASK ME ABOUT MY FUNNY UNDERWEAR.

Never again will anyone allow their children to bother me on a plane, in the waiting lounge, or any other part of the airport.

Covering Up the Mountain Meadows Massacre since 1857...

It doesn't have an essence.
It has no soul, for that matter.

"Abandon all hope
Ye who enter here"