A new designer PED = Prophet Enhancing Drug was detected when Mormon President, Russell M Nelson donated one drop of his personal blood-atonement at the local Red Cross.

Through the new MLM vitamin pill company, DEW-Terra (sign up at your local Deseret Book Store) comes the spiritual crescendo substance "Troothosterone." Secret but not sacred sources reveal that Wendy Watson Nelson, the prophet's second serial significant squeeze has been supplying the 94-year-old, patriarch with daily doses in order to unleash his powers of the priesthood upon the Church and the world.

Troothosterone testing by the FDA - Faithful Drug Agency discerns this PED to be composed of human testosterone and methamphetamine with disinhibiting effect on the "testimony bearing medulla - TBM" center of the Mormon male brain.

Rumors are that due to the fountain of youthful re-invigoration of Russell "The Muscle" Nelson, Troothosterone will replace the sacrament administered to The Brethren during their traditional Thursday Meetings inside the Salt Lake Temple.

"Fasten your seatbelts! We're blasting off for Kolob!" - Russell Nelson warned his followers as he boarded his private jet bound for the latest "Ministry Tour of Iran and North Korea."

Golly, and I was so sure he was taking the one for Wendy's sake, to prove he still has his virility.

Either that or they sleep in separate bedrooms.

Do you ever wonder what Wendy's aphrodisiac might be?



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/02/2018 10:37PM by Amyjo.

The Dew

Presumably nonegenarian men with leathery judgemental faces and undoubtedly herniated scrotums.

He’s bulking up for his Friberg painting.