Mr. Russell M Nelson (address line 1)
LDS Church (address line 2 )
Salt Lake City, Utah October 27, 2018

Subject: Healing a broken family

I am the victim of a vicious, deceitful divorce that was Knowingly ratified, condoned, & excused by LDS leaders. I am asking your interest & help to find & invoke a respectful, Christ-Like resolution to this sordid situation.

If you would personally read up the background on this, I’d be glad to visit you in your office. About 1 hour’s reading will be needed to understand the facts of this matter, 20 minutes for the essentials.

Facts:

• There was no suggestion, no claim of any adultery or abuse in our family or the divorce.
• (name’s ) written complaint was that I stopped going to church.


I am hoping my family is important enough for your personal attention because other LDS leaders have either chosen not to be involved or failed. My family, my children, & (former wife) mean Everything to me, as does living the basics of Christ-Like living (I’m NOT claiming perfection!!)

Summary: (Wife’s) financial submissions were wildly false to her advantage, she understated her income & over-stated household expenses. The $ total of her False misrepresentations amounts to about $2,000 per month. Other statements prevented my from having attorney assistance to present the facts of the matter to the court.
I was seriously depressed as well as disadvantaged by this & unable to represent myself, I was hospitalized several times with life-threatening depression.

We can discuss how the LDS church KNOWINGLY Approved, Ratified, Condoned, Excused, Sanctioned, Ignored my now former wife’s (well documented, by the way) Hatred & Lies submitted to court (in sworn statements) in order to falsify her divorce, her greediness in wanting 100% of the (community property) equity in our home (most of which was from my father’s inheritance). Then, on to discussing an equitable resolution of this sordid affair.\

After she submitted her False court documents, After our bishop saw them & acknowledged they were false, she was awarded a ‘Temple Recommend’, signaling everyone including our 9 children that the LDS church approved her actions. I understand that her ‘temple privileges’ continue to today, in spite of the above.

I would like to personally tell you that I showed her statements to our Bishop, (bishop’s name) , and to Stake President(s); (Bishop) agreed with me that they were False/Misleading, but he IMMEDIATELY began to fabricate excuses for her, refusing to place or even suggest any responsibility to her…

In other words, there is no reasonable alternative possibility or conclusion other than the LDS church was complicit with her in a deceitful, vicious, and greedy divorce.


In the (17, nearly 18) years since this sordid divorce, I have continually if not constantly:

A) Admitted, not denied my mistakes & challenges.
B) Asked that Love (Honesty, Kindness) be our First Priority
C) Pleaded for Repentance & Forgiving, from all, for all. Response: NOTHING


I don’t expect you to fully understand how painful all of this is for me, but perhaps you can imagine what it’s like to be shunned by family while calling for Repentance & Forgiving.

At the Same Time/visit, I will tell you of my continuing Love for (name), my fond memories of the experiences & children we have shared; My love for her doesn’t change because of past events, that’s because my love for her (others?) starts & ends with My Feelings, My inner desires & affection; my sincere desires to be the Best example to all involved, our children, (wife), & others…

I’m reasonably certain that all (name) will listen to & heed your counsel & advice on this matt er, she (sometimes) appears to obey the teachings of the LDS church…

“With Repentance & Forgiving, we’ll all be doing the Right Thing;
Right for today.
Right for the future.”

Please contact me at:

Sincerely, (my contact information)

My comments:
AS the church has allowed this to happen & continue

- (wife) had the choice of doing an honest divorce, splitting the property; she choose not to.
- What about Honesty & Kindness? Are they somehow exempted in cases of divorce?
- Isn’t this setting a new low of what is allowable from a Temple-Recommend holder?
- What about a church member using ‘religion’ as a Wedge against another family member?

Hate to be the one to break this to you, GNPE, but this is really a matter between you, your ex, and a good and expensive divorce lawyer. If it's water under the bridge, what good does dredging up the past do other than maybe venting your frustration at what went wrong?

If that be the case, have you tried a good honest, reputable therapist who isn't out to rip you off, but give sound advice and feedback?

TSCC isn't going to offer any kind of sound advice in any shape, size or form. Trust me, their only legal counsel is to themselves. Domestic matters are not their forte. If they ever were. They might refer you to your local ecclesiastical leader, but if he isn't a Mormon that isn't going to help you. If it were a Mormon I might add would also more likely than not be of any help either.

Amyjo (& others)

my point(s) in writing to RMN:

- RMN said that exhalation is 'by families' (4/'08)

- LDS has repeatedly said that families are "most important unit in time & eternity" (Howard Hunter, 11/'94)

- LDS frequently intervenes is far less-serious matters, probably every day on average (365 ex's a year)

- LDS has said repeatedly that only Honest members can have a TR... this contravenes that 'in your face'



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/04/2018 05:06PM by GNPE.

I understand your tactic GNPE for it is one I have tried to use extensively with TBM family members. It is often effective to one degree or another.

What has always been remarkable to me from my dealings with Mormons over a 40+ year period is that they are typically very good examples of the sort of behaviour they claim to eschew. I was a 19 year old nevermo from NY when I attended BYU where I met my then TBM (now exmo) DH. Attending BYU as a "non-member" was a strange experience to say the least. I allowed my background, beliefs and self esteem to be demeaned on a daily basis. (No one to blame here but myself, why I facilitated this is a subject for another day).

When I met DH's family it was the first time I had actually been in the presence of a Mormon family. It did not take long for me to realized that their familial relationships did not measure up to the superior standards they claimed in their propaganda. In fact, it was clear to me that my nevermo family could teach them a thing or two. I found that over the years, pointing out the hypocrisy of most Mormons was a very effective tool in leading DH to see the errors of Mormonism.

I'd say to go ahead and polish that letter up and send it off. Not only will you find that it will be quite therapeutic for you to "call the kettle black" but it might also give the recipient cause for some self examination.

LDS bottom line isn't about families or securing their eternal well being. It's all about keeping TSCC fires burning brightly.

There really is no trained clergy to save families or marriages. The LDS Social Services is a farce and a joke for the services it provides. For whatever marriages it may have helped to save, it has done more to divide and sever ties between families by the belief that the cult is the only way to happiness.

The leaders do not concern themselves with domestic matters, maybe not even their own. They're only concerned about the image they want to convey to the public. It's all a PR stunt from beginning to end. They just have to look good and keep up appearances. That's what it's all about from their angle. They really don't care for the lay people. They are not their concern unless they cause them embarrassment. And then as swiftly they call courts to have them railroaded out by means of excommunication.

That's cryptic, but the best answer for whatever questions you may have of the GA and/or RMN. They really don't care about the personal matters of members whether past or current.

I agree.

the disconnect between their Claims & reality is a wonder just in the way it's denied/ignored (regarding my first comments, others)

I know it is intensely personal for you, GNPE, but in the world of MORMONism, it is not personal. Do you think Nelson gives a darn about you or any other minion?

You are asking for empathy, reason, and justice from a sick, evil cult! Have you heard of trying to squeeze blood from a turip?

My Mormon ex-husband never gave me a dime in alimony, never paid my doctor's bills from the injuries he gave me, never apologized, and never admitted that he did anything wrong--and he almost killed me.

My attitude was: I was lucky to get out alive! So were you.

The rest of my life, moving forward from several near death experiences, has been living on borrowed time. I escaped and made a fresh start. Several years later, I married someone else, had children, made a home for us, had a career, and am happier than I ever thought possible.

Most of us still bear the scars, and it is not fair. Life is not fair--that's just the way it is. (I still have to go to the doctor for surgeries, due to the injuries my ex-husband inflicted on me. I had to have therapy for PTSD. Maybe you need therapy, too. It's expensive. The jaw surgeries and psychotherapy are not covered by insurance. Losing your assets to your wife is not fair. What you have, is your ability to earn more assets. Your children will no doubt carry on in their new lives.

Statistics show that children of a parent who leaves the MORMON cult are about 80% more likely to leave the cult! Be there for them! Be there to encourage them to NOT marry a MORMON.

Bury the past. Go ahead and get angry. Shun the idiots. Do whatever you want--but please move forward! The only thing you can control is your future--and the future is all that's important.

Sorry you had to go through all that garbage. (((hugs to you)))

My children are out. It's some nieces and nephews still stuck inside that are as good as blindfolded.

If that weren't bad enough is their arrogance. That doesn't begin and end with them. It starts from the top and works its way down.

Those GA's could really care less for the welfare of its people. If someone has real life problems, then they chalk it up to they're not living right. Not that they themselves are running a cult and one of the most dysfunctional religions on the planet.

You had 9 children? Do you know how much child support that runs to even if you live in Utah?
No sympathy here, as you followed the dictates of a cult, not thinking about how these children would feel.

GNPE, church administrators are not going to get involved in your specific complaints about a long-ago divorce. By your own admission, it's been nearly 18 years. Your ex-wife is not coming back. She is not going to admit to any wrong doing, and she will never love you again.

You needed (but didn't obtain) a good divorce lawyer back then. You may need a counselor right now.

I do understand your heartbreak. But honestly, at this point your feelings about your ex don't matter because it takes two. And she is long gone.

GNPE, what has happened to you is purely evil.

There is nothing mysterious about evil--it's that kind of thing.

It was RfM's Gatorman who said, "There's a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear-view mirror." Please look to the future.


I have a few friends who lost a good dad after their mom was counseled to "find a worthy priesthood holder."

I wish there were a way to sue TSCC for ALIENATION OF AFFECTION. Maybe if ppl would start filing that type of lawsuit and name names, this nonsense would stop.

You won't get the response you desire, but send it. They are narcissists and they just don't get it and they really don't care.

I, myself, don't care if it has been 18 years since your divorce. I do understand your pain.

I believe they need to hear these stories even if they don't give a damn.

I wrote to Packer years and years ago about my situation and the response was horrible. Worst letter I've ever received. When my ex sent a letter to Monson, the reply was something along the lines of "we wish you well." They didn't even address the issue.

This was one of the biggest eye-openers for me of anything else I experienced is that OUR SOULS AREN'T WORTH AS MUCH AS THEIR'S. THEY ARE MORE IMPORTANT. WE ARE JUST LOWLY MEMBERS.

But I still say send it. I'm sorry for all you've been through and lost. No matter how many years go by, people want to believe that the pain just goes away. No, it doesn't. I've come a long way, but there are days that the pain comes back and haunts me. For me, it has been 22 years since he left me.

I think this is solid advice. Even though I am in no way qualified to talk about this kind of thing, I think op should send the letter. The more people speak up, the more the church will realize they're doing something seriously wrong. I don't think the cult will ever admit defeat, but memebership is already dwindling and we might as well speed up the process.

cl2 came closest.

Your responses have been better & more than tscc ever thought of, they haven't gone un-appreciated.

TSCC literally Gave Up on my DW changing Forgiving me and/or repenting (of even admitting her mistakes/errors. I would never give up on her or on anyone I love...

If church leaders can't be human & live IRL, What Value are they to anyone??? They're not only fooling the members, they're fooling themselves also.

This is killing me,

Hey, we each got burned by the cult as it spilled over into our personal lives.

What else to do but pick up the pieces and move on? If you still need to grieve your losses, there's no shame in that. It shows you're human.

When you love deeply, you grieve deeply and personal. At least you can still feel. Those men running the cult I'm not too sure they know what that is.

I guess I am not only not mormonish, but old too...

When I saw the title of this thread...


I wondered why someone would write an open letter of any kind, much less a desperate letter,to Richard Milhous Nixon...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/06/2018 03:58PM by csuprovograd.