and getting people to do things for you.

Aw..heck. I like you all so much, here it is for free.

In contemporary terms, it can be summed up in the following phrase "Be like Nelson!"

That's a short way of referring to this great secret which I now describe in more detail.

The secret is to pretend that you have a special connection with Jesus and can tell people what Jesus is feeling about certain things.

If you want people to do certain things or change their behavior in ways that you prefer, first remind them that Jesus can't be here right now because of some stuff. But remind them also that he loves everybody and he's looking in and monitoring what's going on...and he wants people to know when things offend him, make him sad, make him happy or make him exuberant or make him very angry.

That was the first step to achieving a "Be Like Nelson!" successful life.

Next step is to put your new "Be like Nelson!" secrets into practice. (You should repeat "Be Like Nelson!" 3 times every morning in front of a mirror to better integrate this secret to success into your daily life).

To be like Nelson in both word and deed, you have to convince people around you that Jesus has selected you to tell people what's on Jesus's mind and, more importantly, how their actions make Jesus feel.

Here are some examples:

"Jesus feels sad when you say 'Mormon' instead of using his name, so you need to knock it off and use his name."

"Jesus feels sad when you don't share. So...you need to give me some donuts."

"Jesus feels very angry when you get upset about trivial things. That's why your negative reaction to me using your credit card without permission is going to damage your relationship with Jesus."

If you practice every day, you will eventually get to a point where you can...let's say it all together..."Be like Nelson!" (This is usually followed by huge applause and cheers at our "Be Like Nelson!" seminars.)

The above is just a sampler of the life-changing information that can be available to you. The $29.95 offer still stands for the premium series of "Be Like Nelson!" DVDs and books. Hurry before supplies run out.

Like Kimball, he has convinced thousands of otherwise intelligent people that his very survival is a miracle that must be explained in supernatural terms.

Available at Deseret Books, just in time for Christmas.

I would sign up for your seminar, but it applies only to men.

exminion Wrote:
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> Available at Deseret Books, just in time for
> Christmas.
>


I was thinking more like the clearance aisle at Wal-Mart.

our brand new "Be Like Wendy!" series of life-changing DVDs and books will be out the week before Christmas. ;o)

LOL. I forgot that we women have Wendy as our leader, now.

Seriously, I'm expecting a barrage of books from her.

Upvote

Will you take 1 Senum plus 3 Shiblum instead?

I reckon I'm going to just keep stumbling along because I refuse to "Be like Nelson!" .

But wait!! Call now and we'll add a copy of the ancient papyri that Joseph Smith used to translate the Book of Abraham.
Just pay separate fee for shipping and handling.

Be like Nelson, and dress like Wendy ?

No thanks, I like my lifestyle so much more than that.

Of course, you could always dress like Nelson and be like Wendy...

Actually, that might work...