But they don't work.
So...?

:)

Blessings can work if you give them time to work! You just have to be really, really patient and check under the sofa cushions with some frequency! And you can’t prove me wrong! At least not congenitally wrong...

Yeah, I know.

It's like...yesterday I only had one cup of coffee in the morning instead of my usual two.

This morning, power got shut off at my home.

It musta been the missing cup of coffee that caused my power to go out!

Of course, it wasn't the 70-80MPH wind gusts hitting my house in rural, bone-dry, drought-stricken California. It wasn't the local power company's history of poor maintenance of their lines, and having been blamed for a previous fire (and rightly so), making them prone to shut off power whether it's justified or not.

No, no, it was the missing cup of coffee Monday that caused it.

I swear.

And you can't prove me wrong.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/13/2018 01:04PM by ificouldhietokolob.

Every effect has a cause.

"I hope you're proud of yourself," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "All those people without power now because you got up later than you should have!"

You mean like if my neighbors house burns to the ground but mine didn't?

I don't think much about "blessings".

Most people's blessings are like that.

The way to recognize your blessings is to brag that you got something that nobody else did and so it must have come from God so, it's a Blessing!

I take credit myself for my blessings because I worked hard for something and no credit at all for my luck because that just happened. And I know the difference. It helps to be devoid of a need to be God's favorite if you want to be able to see the difference.

"Wrong thinking will be punished; right thinking will be as quickly rewarded."

---The Talosian Keeper, 'Star Trek' pilot episode

That's how I picture mormon blessings. Mormon God is like a Talosian.

my bad experiences. I tried it out. It didn't work.

My dad wasn't into blessings. He had the MP, but he never made any big deal of it. He felt it was more of a burden. Hated home teaching. Funny thing is, my nonmormon/inactive coworkers had him as a HT and they loved him. He just went by to chat. They were very angry when they changed to another HT and canceled.

So I grew up in a home where blessings weren't ever a focus. But I tried to believe for a short time in my life. Total failure in every circumstance. P.S. My ex is still gay.

The one thing I can say about women and the church leadership is (I didn't want to have the PH), but that they seem to think that if I'm going to pray, that God wouldn't listen to me as well as he would listen to the local bishop. I didn't need some PH holder giving me blessings. I was perfectly capable of asking for myself (as a believing mormon and now if I believed in it) as some old guy I hardly knew.

My ex would be straight, but to his consternation! My dogs would still be alive miraculously. My brother would be normal. My other brother would also be normal. Both had strokes--one at birth, one at age 42.

The list goes on and on.

Nobody would be dead. Nobody would be sick. There would be no pain in the world.

Yeah, that's the thing.

See, we can't have nobody sick or dead, and no pain, 'cause that would "negate free will."

But we can have *some* people not be sick or dead or not have pain. 'Cause that's fine.

But only if it's part of "god's plan."

But if it's part of "god's plan," then why do you need a blessing in the first place? Wouldn't it just happen anyway?

Like everything else mormon/magical, it all falls apart (and really fast) if you actually think about it. Or examine it.

Free will poses no problem now, don't you know. It's gone the way of free agency.

Free agency was inconvenient because it implied that members could make their own choices. So it became mere "agency," which meant "you acting how I want." Once that was established, there was no need for free will because the question was whether you acted as the agent of MY will.

But if there is no free will, there is no need for opposition in all things. God can grant all desired blessings with no downside. Everything is easier now that the only law is obedience.

Have you tried blessing your golf balls? It could cut a few strokes off your game. No guarantees if you’re an apostate.

That was a low blow, babylo!! Golf does NOT lend itself to blessings and prayers.

Golf is a practical, in your face, demonstration of the Bell Shaped Curve.

Golf balls were always a blessing to me.

When I was young, some friends and I used to haunt a golf course. We would scamper through the rough and wade into the ponds in search of stray balls. We'd wash them in a stream or the ball cleaners and then approach golf parties and negotiate what were, for us, very good prices. It was like finding twenty dollar bills on the sidewalk nearly every day.

Only rarely did management send someone to kick us off the course. Best job I ever had. . .

Just about six months before I realized the Mormon church was a lie and I was at home from BYU I asked my Stake patriarch father for a priesthood blessing. He was puzzled that I would not tell him the purpose but agreed to the laying on of hands. It was my last desperate attempt to become straight. I was tortured beyond belief now in my twenties and could not kid myself any longer that this was just a phase. I had known since I was around seven and it had been a lot of years with this terrifying burden. I knew I had to get married and I just couldn't face it. More because I couldn't do that to a woman than anything else. I watched the gay guys at BYU head to the temple one by one and I was getting frantic. I did not want to go against God.

My mother had confided earlier that year that my father claimed he had never felt the power of the priesthood as strongly as when he had ordained me an Elder before my mission. That gave me real hope. So, outside on the lawn on a chair my father gave the blessing one Sunday.

If blessings worked I would not be gay. I would be married to a TBM wife and would have had the perfect TBM life. I would believe the BoM and that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. My natural personality is quite good at apologetics so I believe this is how it would have turned out. No apostasy in my future. I wold have endured.

Thank goodness those blessings don't work. I have had the most amazing wonderful big full gay life that I wouldn't trade for anything. Parts were harder than hell, but that shook me out of the Mormon bubble and gave me what I can die happy knowing I found.

A wonderful story.

And what might one conclude based upon the truths being displayed here? (No, this is not a test; there will be no grade assigned to any answers! Just bare your heart.)

I prefer to bare my shoulders.





ETA: I congratulate you on a thoughtful and thought-provoking OP, OPie. There is far too little deep philosophy on RfM.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 11/14/2018 12:13PM by Lot's Wife.

Yes. Far too little . . .

And EOD? Seems to be able to write innocent appearing "asides" that have more content and deeper meaning than so many other intentionally important posts. It's either a gift or maybe beer. Not sure which. You never know with that one.

Indeed a paradoxical and perplexing character, our dear Padre.

Sometimes he appears as philosopher, sometimes as acolyte of a 12-year-old deacon with, shall we say, unwashed hands.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 11/14/2018 12:32PM by Lot's Wife.

I only hope my ex can eventually find happiness, peace. That is all I have ever wanted--BEFORE we married, too. I can't even say stupid leaders. They were despicable.

Did you see the movie Bohemian Rhapsody? I didn't really want to see it. It was THE BEST. I just absolutely loved it. My boyfriend and I are going to see it in IMAX this weekend. I'm going to buy my ex a ticket to go see it. WOW! What a story.

I am always so pleased to hear about your story, Done & Done. This should be the story of all the mormon gays (let alone all gays), to have lived as you have lived.

That is very touching. Thank you. And, can't wait to see Bohemian Rhapsody!

I doubt that God would accept priesthood blessings as most LDS members expect them to work.

Ideally the priesthood should operate as follows: an elder has authority to act in the name of God or a priest through ministering angels. It should be just as if Christ were present and in charge. The priesthood substitutes when God isn't physically present.

But humans are weak vessels. People expect that they can use the priesthood to bind God to their wishes. Either the priesthood bearer or the person receiving the blessing expect that they can dictate to God what should be done.

What responsible God would agree to such terms?

The idea of "binding God" comes from the Occult.

It is a holdover from the days of Joseph Smith's family dabbling in folk magic.

A moot point. They don't and I knew that when I stood in the circle as my parents were dying...oh wait.....they didn't work 'cause I was a non believer....got it. My bad.

Not like they weren't old and sick, but it had to be your fault.

That attitude from mormons gets really old.

Tease...