Date: November 19, 2018 02:17PM
A few of you here know me and my DW, so it is with some trepidation that I post. But I am so excited for her.
So those that are still connected with my DW, please do not say anything until she comes to terms with what she is thinking....what I think she is thinking.
With that said, my DW's shelf has finally broken, or at least suffered catastrophic (i hope) fractures.
She has always gone through phases where she is super-mormon, and blase-blase mormon. She is in a super-mormon phase because of Nelson's geriatric ramblings about shit that has not been relevant since the early 90's to mormon culture.
She is listening to the BOM, reading talks, etc. However, when I woke up this morning she was reading "Do we trust Him: Hard is Good" a talk from last year.
Over the weekend my daughter had the chance to tell DW for the first time part of the reason she left the church to become a jesus-jumper.
There was someone who we both knew very well in the bishopric who started asking wildly inappropriate questions of my daughter during interviews starting at 11. She never told us. While DW seemed to take it in stride, it rocked her. One of our common fights has been that because it has never been her experience that interviews are inappropriate, that it is just overblown nonsense.
Then my youngest son told her he just lies and gives them whatever answer they want to sexual questions, not that they do not ask them, but he straight up lies.
This conversation started because my sister called to ask about her 11 year old's son genital pain and see if we had any idea what they should do about it. Her husband did not want to take him to the hospital because he was afraid the doctor would tell him to masturbate, which is an unpardonable sin for them(sigh). This made DW laugh because she has never had a problem with "shower babies" because it is normal behavior.
At some level, she knows all of her children do not believe. None of them are going on missions and only two of them still go to church, which they do because it means so much to her.
She has been very sad, and left church early on Sunday and hid our room.
There are other indicators as well.
This brings up the sad part. When she has questions, I cannot be her sounding board, in fact, she does not want me to even know, because of the way I left, and the secrets I kept then.
She knows I want her out of the church, and she thinks my reasons for that are selfish, which they were for a long time. Now I just want her to be free. Free from the double-bind, and the mind-fuck that is the modern mormon church.
In fact, my biggest regret in life is that I did not take her on my journey out with me because the lack of communication that ensued led to life altering repercussions.
So three cheers to Nelson. Maybe the best thing happening to the shit show that is mormonism.
And wish her luck!