Posted by:
Josephina
(
)
Date: December 02, 2018 10:19AM
I am remembering this just recently, bewailing how stupid I was to be such a true believer. Think late 70's, 80's. The "spirit" was guiding so many people into the true church! It was going to grow and grow. Local prophets were especially bad. We were in the last days, tribulation was coming, and many people would recognize the value the true church held for them. Plus, as you know, the 10 lost tribes were going to be coming back. Our area was going to be bursting with members until the time came to trek to Zion (Missouri). Get ready for the avalanche, people!
Well, the years passed...there was a time when the active membership increased slightly, but it was mostly women and old people. Then the ward was dissolved, and the meetinghouse was boarded up. It's been that way for about 15 years, with no hope in sight that it can ever open up again. You have to drive quite a ways to attend a Mormon ward, and that ward is shrinking.
The LDS church is so prophetic, isn't it?
I am also reminded of the way that women are devalued in Mormonism. They had a period when there were plenty of women in the ward, but very little priesthood. In other churches, this would not have been a problem. There was also a period of time when many people who were mentally challenged in one way or another were activated/converting. When placed in a calling, their toxicity would drive normal people out of the church. I remember going into a business where a roomful of people were laughing, making jokes about the Mormon church being full of crazy people.
I don't want to put anyone down, but you have to place competent people in responsible positions. They didn't want to admit that they didn't have enough of those kind of people.
I remember how disappointed I felt that the church was going in the opposite direction than was promised, but I was still too brainwashed to call it quits and find somewhere else to go. I did end up going less, but I couldn't shake the hold that the church had placed on me from when I was young and vulnerable. I honestly feared the terrible things Old Satan was going to do to me if I left the church, even when I new that it was ridiculous. I had known many ex-Mormons, and their lives were going better than mine. It didn't make sense, but I couldn't shake the fear.
I shook Mormonism off forever four years ago, but today I am suffering from regrets. I made some bad decisions while I was a true believer. Why not? If these were true prophets, should I not make decisions according to what they say? It took me years to understand that they blabbed things out of context, but I had already suffered the consequences of following things they said.
Remember all the crap about promptings? Those promptings led me to some devastating consequences. Still I could not let go of Mormonism. I simply redefined what they said, and blamed myself for being stupid. I couldn't admit that the Mormon universe is full of magical nonsense.