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Posted by: guy3 ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 05:56PM

On my mission if you masturbated, then you had to call the mission president within 24 hours. It caused serious anxiety.

What were some of your mission masturbation rules?

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Posted by: You Too? ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 07:31PM

Required to use left hand

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 10:00PM

Where's BYU Boner when we need him?

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 10:36AM

gauche.

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Posted by: caffiend ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:14AM


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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 01:27PM


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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 01:30PM

GregS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> gauche.


ganache au chocolat blanc

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Posted by: GregS ( )
Date: December 05, 2018 08:05AM

Sounds very white and delightsome.

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Posted by: Concerned Citizen 2.0 ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 09:21PM

..."if confronted with THAT urge, please call the Mission President at; 1-800-SHOWGIRLS. You will be re-directed to the Lounge phone, located in the private viewing area."

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Posted by: dogblogger ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 10:05PM

No specific rule

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Posted by: Hedning ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 10:24PM

Limiting us to two meals per day, telling us what kind of dish washing accessories we could use, must wear only blue suits and blue hats, unless they were a certain national style heavy winter hat, no eating candy bars, or other snacks at kiosks etcl... the list went on and on. We had rules about tracting until 9:30 PM; p-day should only last 3 hours etc etc etc.

Funny I don't remember any mention of masturbation on my mission. I guess none of us were doing it, or at least it did not cross my MP's wifes mind that it might be an issue for young healthy males, living in a country with some of the most attractive women in the world.

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Posted by: Guy3 ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 11:16PM

90%+ were doing it. It came about on my mission when we had a big "Repentance" zone conference where masturbation was not the focus, but not absent either. 2/3rds of the mission confessed to the MIssion president about something within 2 weeks. When I confessed he had a file on his desk with a handout about self abuse ready to go, so I knew he had that conversation like a hundred times that month.

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Posted by: Hervey Willets ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:00AM

"Nine out of ten men masturbate, and the other one's a damned
liar".

Mark Twain

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Posted by: cludgie ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 11:46PM

My mission was a long time ago, but I think it was simply, "Flog 'em if you got 'em."

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Posted by: Gheco ( )
Date: December 02, 2018 11:56PM

Would it be wrong to suggest at the next area wide meetings if it is still considered “self abuse” if you and your companion do it to each other rather than alone?

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Posted by: messygoop ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 12:52AM

The 4 minute rule. Only 4 minutes to shower or use the restroom (with the door closed). We were supposed to report to him if your comp was taking too long behind closed doors. I made it perfectly clear to every comp that I was NOT going to stand outside the restroom door while they took a dump. An unintended consequence was that some mishies were not closing the bathroom door; even when visiting a member's home.

We were supposed to visually inspect each other's bed every morning. I guess this was supposed to deter the hand wanking for the fear of stained bedding. I never got anywhere near my companion's bed or personal belongings.

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Posted by: guy3 ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 09:36AM

Is this for real or a joke? That seems extreme even for a mission. I thought my 24 rule was bad. At least that was person. My goodness.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 09:54AM

It's for real. We had essentially the same rule on my mission -- but no time limit. We were simply supposed to report up the chain anyone who spent an "excessive" time alone in the bathroom. The assumption was, of course, that they were self-pleasuring. And repeat too-long-in-the-bathroomers were ordered to keep the door open.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 11:14AM

Same. I didn't comply. What a rule.

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Posted by: Dead Cat ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 04:48PM

So.... the mission president could only last 4 minutes?

My question. Did the sisters have similar requirements?

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 11:05AM

Well, this seems to train Mishies to learn to do it quickly...which will not be good training for them if they ever DO get a woman and marry and try to be intimate....

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 11:11AM

If the church really wanted to increase the number of Missionaries they would REQUIRE regular 'Self-Abuse' rather than try to prohibit it.

Sheesh. It is a normal part of life. Like telling people they can't urinate. Ridiculous and probably harmful to try to limit this, and how awful to tell young people they have to report it to a judgmental authority figure.

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Posted by: robinsaintcloud ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 11:37AM

sorry, OT, but favorite mission rule was "elders and sisters should not attend the movies every week". So, we would skip a week every once in a while to remain compliant, but I saw about 100 movies on mission (some were double features). Some of them were great!.

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Posted by: I take it this was in the 60s? ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 04:31PM

We weren't allowed to see movies, watch TV or listen to radio.

It took me about 10 minutes to decide I had just taken a walk on part in a cult training program.

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Posted by: Guy3 ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 04:55PM

On mine technology was so limited that even Truman G. Madsen CDs were banned. I think this was preemtive before Podcasts became a thing. We were allowed to listen to general conference talks. If you were lucky you were in a flat with 20+ years of ensign magazines for variety.

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Posted by: Rodger ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 07:52PM

that's strict. we loved truman tapes on pday

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:14AM

I didn't [have to] follow any missionary master-probation rules, mostly probably because I had my own rules, which kept me off a missing.

M@t

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Posted by: Roy G Biv ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 06:41PM

Let me see, what was the rule on my mission......no more than twice a day if I recall.....but it was more of a guideline than a rule.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: December 05, 2018 06:16AM

Don't use but four fingers.

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Posted by: namarod ( )
Date: December 05, 2018 06:03PM

Every month we had a Zone Conference. During the conference, we had individual interviews with the Mission President (MP). On one interview, my guilt caught up with me and I confessed to him that I had slapped the salami a few times. He somberly looked at me and said, "Elder ******, do you know that every time you masturbate you are doing it in front of our Savior?" I didn't say anything back. How could I respond to that silly ass comment? Needless to say, I never confessed any "sins" or indiscretions to my MP again!

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Posted by: Guy3 ( )
Date: December 06, 2018 12:45PM

TO be honest that was my main thought from 14-30. It is not a healthy view of yourself, or for an interventionist God either. It breeds self-hatred and OCD tendacies, from my experience. Now I am so happy to be freed from that world view. So much happier.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 06, 2018 12:48PM

namarod Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Elder ******, do you know
> that every time you masturbate you are doing it in
> front of our Savior?"

I hope he's watching. Santa and him can enjoy my show.

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