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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 12:03PM

The holidays are looming. My inlaws will soon be here. I love them as much as I can but they are super Mormon. In other words they are The Cranks.

""Crank" is a pejorative term used for a person who holds an unshakable belief that most of his or her contemporaries consider to be false.[1] A crank belief is so wildly at variance with those commonly held that it is considered ludicrous. Cranks characteristically dismiss all evidence or arguments which contradict their own unconventional beliefs, making any rational debate a futile task and rendering them impervious to facts, evidence, and rational inference."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crank_(person)

They will play "The Forgotten Carols" over and over. They will be reading their scriptures and praying at every meal. I will probably hear a lot of Mormon stuff that I don't want to hear.

It really isn't terribly bad. It is just Mormons being themselves and these ones are not opposed to spend their holidays with an apostate. It just seems every year I come running back here to read and post in opposition to their crankiness.

Is anyone else here in this predicament? You have Mormons you love and you both tolerate each other's positions but sometimes their Mormonism drives you to your own crankiness?

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 12:13PM

Alcohol.
In copious quantities.

:)

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Posted by: Heidi GWOTR ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 02:01PM

I agree 100% with this!

Eggnog is really good for this, as you can make non and alcoholic versions.

Also, the Germans made a drink a couple of centuries ago because the local pastor didn't abide alcohol and so the folks came up with Pharisee Kaffee. Cup coffee, 2 oz rum, whip cream on top. Do not stir once the whip cream is added, as this hides the fumes of the rum.

Good luck!

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 05:45PM

Heidi GWOTR Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Cup coffee, 2 oz rum, whip cream
> on top. Do not stir once the whip cream is added,
> as this hides the fumes of the rum.

OOH, if you go for that, you can doubly offend the visiting mormons: coffee and alcohol together! Oh, the evil!

:)

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 12:23PM

It sounds like a comedy gold mine! You could treat it like a sociology experiment or like a broadway play. Definitely drink in to it!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 03:26PM

Great suggestion. Alcohol might help me but at the same time it might loosen my tongue more than I want.

I love the idea of treating it like comedy. Like a Book of Mormon I've living!


hasa diga eebowai



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2018 03:28PM by Elder Berry.

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Posted by: Devoted Exmo ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 05:13PM

There you go!

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 12:33PM

As someone who does not have relatives at all, and dreads the holidays because they point up the lack of friends and relatives, I hope I don't sound stupid but could you consider being glad that you have people who care enough about you to come visit you at all?

Even though they are weird and cranky, at least they are coming..

Just my two cents.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/03/2018 12:34PM by mel.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 03:29PM

mel Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Even though they are weird and cranky, at least
> they are coming..

Right. I have support and love from Mormons. I'm grateful for having people who care and I'm glad I'm not in their cult anymore.

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Posted by: nli ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 01:04PM

How you act or what you do to survive this depends a lot on how other family members (especially spouse!) feel about it.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 03:29PM

Trrrue.

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Posted by: Done & Done ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 06:02PM

Turn your head when you roll your eyes so they don't see. Get plenty of those heat bandages for the sore neck you are going to have.

I treat mine like the Mormon family olympics and I go for the Gold Medal for who can be the most fun. That confuses Mormons since they consider they are supposed to automatically win that category just because of course Mormons are the happiest people on the planet.

I also do all the dishes and clean up. They think I am nice. I am just getting a break from everybody and resting my neck and eyes.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:38PM

Done & Done Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> I also do all the dishes and clean up. They think
> I am nice. I am just getting a break from
> everybody and resting my neck and eyes.

LOL! You've just increased my motivation to be more helpful around the holidays.

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Posted by: dagny ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 08:20PM

Crank Christmas Bingo!

Make a Bingo card with crank sayings or actions. I'm sure we could come up with some great entries for the card if you need us.

Snicker to yourself each time you get to cross off a crank box on the card. When you get Bingo, come tell us and we will all take a drink!

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:19PM

Great Idea!

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Posted by: Pooped ( )
Date: December 03, 2018 11:57PM

Sorry that I cannot commiserate with you E.B. My mother and I are being, thankfully, shunned by our dysfunctional family. They think they are hurting us by going "no contact" but we are quite happy to be left alone. They swapped Mormonism for another religious group that gives them boat loads of sympathy for having such horrible relatives like Mom and me. YAY!

In case you want to know why we are so horrible, the answer is (short version) that we won't keep paying off their debts after years of doing so. Mom's skilled care bills don't leave her much discretionary income to throw down the rat hole dug by a spending addict. And I'm just fed up with their greed and won't throw good money after bad. A quiet Christmas in front of the fire with a few close friends is a delight.

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Posted by: ificouldhietokolob ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 10:33AM

Putting humor aside for a moment...

I have TBM family visit me, or us visit them, on holidays and other times.

When any of them start being all "mormony," I pull them aside and ask if we can just be human beings for a short time, and not mormons/non-mormons -- and remind them that they know that's a contentious subject, likely to result in bad feelings on both sides, so can we just enjoy each other as people for a while?

It usually works. In fact, they usually feel bad about slipping into full-bore-mormon-mode. Kind of like redirecting onto them the guilt they and the church tried to dump on me for many years. They get that.

Happy Holidays, EB.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:23PM

I think I'm dangerously close to needing to cross that road with my mother in law. I hate to do it but if this year she does some of the stuff she did last year I'm going to say something.

I'm glad it has worked out for you.

And
Happy Holidays, Hie!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/04/2018 12:37PM by Elder Berry.

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Posted by: anono this week ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 11:01AM

Family anxiety is a very real issue.

My family is a lot like this, last family gathering the topic went into all the church callings everyone has and at that point I just walked out and did something else, and sinners who refuse to "serve". There comes a point when a person has to make a polite exit. But for me family gathering anxiety is compounded because I'm dealing with Mormon Alpha males in a different social class. They are successful and I"m very ordinary.

But what helps me is that I really don't know what the future holds, I really think maybe I'll rise up too? anything is possible. Deep down it's optimism that gets you through.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:27PM

anono this week Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But what helps me is that I really don't know what
> the future holds, I really think maybe I'll rise
> up too? anything is possible. Deep down it's
> optimism that gets you through.

Great attitude.

In my family many people thought I would be way more successful than I've been. Actually, some of my once poorer and less successful siblings have become way more successful than me.

I'm content with my lot in life and I'm happy for them. Actually some of them seemed a lot more miserable than me when I visited with them at Thanksgiving.

But hey, I'm with you in your optimism!

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Posted by: Amyjo ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:13PM

And here I thought you meant Cranks as in Chevy Chase's National Lampoon Family.

I know they were the Griswold's, but that's what the OP reminded me of. Just remember there will be good times and happy memories despite all the dysfunction.

;-)

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 12:36PM


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Posted by: Guy3 ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 02:35PM

Just get up when they start reading scriptures. Let them know that if they bring up religion you won't ignore it, but that you will answer it fully. Like for over an hour. I did this with my Mom, and she is more careful about what she talks to me about. And it is less akward then you think. Let them pray over the food, that is mostly harmless. But I wouldn't stay for scriptures. Eat in front of your laptop then.

But stand your ground, if they keep bringing up religion answer them fully. Don't get emotional, mad, or judgment. Just be complete in your answers and experience.

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Posted by: Elder Berry ( )
Date: December 04, 2018 02:58PM

Guy3 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> But stand your ground, if they keep bringing up
> religion answer them fully.

I'm going to try.

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Posted by: Alice, ten feet tall ( )
Date: December 05, 2018 05:34AM

Great suggestions.

My TBM relatives were actually abusive, and I have PTSD, so my coping mechanisms are probably too extreme. Also, I avoid confrontation, at any cost.

I had to keep my distance, be in control as much as possible, and take frequent "breaks", to keep from going insane.

When my abusive brother come to visit, I would call the airport, and tell them that I needed special services, because I was going to pick up someone who was mentally handicapped. Actually admitting that he was handicapped--a bi-polar psychopath, with explosive temper tantrums--helped me realize what a problem he was. It calmed me to think I had help at the airport. I was able to pile him into one of those carts, and have him transported to the luggage claim, like the Mormon Royalty he imagined himself to be, and he griped and complained the whole time.

Once he was in my house, he never wanted to go anywhere, so the only way I could get a much-needed break from him was to invent some work emergency, or a birthday party, or an errand. Once, I left for too long, and my brother broke my favorite chair. During another absence, I discovered that he had been rifling through my tax and financial files. Leaving wasn't the the best option.

One thing I did, when my brother was the most abusive, was to get my children out of the house, and never let my brother be alone with them. The kids were happy to cooperate. They usually had after-school jobs and sports, etc. If you have kids, you don't need to subject them to awful people.

You could keep your cell phone on you, and an earbud in your ear, playing soothing music. In my TBM family, sports are important, and you could have a game on the TV, or go into another room to watch TV. Watch the news, if that's your usual routine. When the newspaper arrives, sit down and read it. It's your house.

If there's snow, go outside and shovel by hand, very slowly. Fill the bird feeders, go to the store and buy peanuts for the squirrels. Take the dog for a walk, which is absolutely necessary. Put up more Christmas lights, like Clark Griswold did.

My extended family are party-givers, and they are a mixed bag of religions, half of them Mormons. I enjoy their parties! Instead of attempting civil, non-argumentative conversations, or letting the Mormon crazies run rampant in an unstructured environment, they split into groups and play cards, chess, checkers, monopoly, etc. After a set time, the whistle blows, and whoever is ahead, wins. Then they switch games. The whole group can stay together and play bingo, charades, and pictionary. My cousin has a party where everyone sing Christmas carols. She has the words printed out for us.

Never have a sit-down dinner. With buffet-style eating, people can get up and leave, if a conversation is going sour. Mixing and mingling keeps conversations brief and superficial, which is what you want.

If you are the "host", you can stay busy in the kitchen, cooking and cleaning up, or go and make up the beds for everyone.

At Mormon family reunions, I take charge of the kids, and lead them on nature hikes, play ball games, horseshoes, corn-hole, croquet, or whatever is available. I bring equipment in my car. People really appreciate having their kids entertained, so they can gossip about church, without interruptions. Children are charming, and they always make me laugh.

Be creative. You will find a way.

Oh, yeah, I like the idea of treating all this like an experiment or comedy. It will definitely help to report your findings here on RFM! We can't wait! Fun for us (but not for you.)

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