Every now and then I think back to my LDS days and how stupid I was and then something else pops up and I realize that stupid runs skin deep.

I mean at what point during my visit to the temple did I think nothing about a Mallet tapping three times? A bloody Mallet for heaven's sake.

'Can anyone lend me a spare mallet? I seem to have left mine at home'

Was I mental? Doing the Zombie Pay Lay Ale and waiting for the holy mallet.

Would have made more sense is someone had given me 3 hard taps on my 70s Mullet and then said...... RUN.

Is that taken from Masonic rituals or something the cult founders made up by themselves?

It's three taps with the ruby slippers that work for me. See, Dorothy had to find out for herself that the power was hers all along. When she was looking outside herself for the answer, it was inside that she found the source of her strength.

'Sparing a mallet' is very 19th century and backwoods kind of thing to say.

Yes, it is found in (some) Masonic rites.

Thanks. I'd be more surprised if it had been an original.

Can't you visualize Tommy Monson at the Pearly Gates looking everywhere for the mallet?

That’s mean.

Tommy, you left it next to your can of Diet Pepsi. You know, kind of like the nutritional equivalent of your religion.

I am a former 32nd Degree Scottish Rite and Blue Lodge Mason. I joined Freemasonry and worked on my Degrees shortly after losing my testimony. Every time I went through a Degree Ceremony, especially the first three, I would mentally say, "Holy shit!" every time I saw something that mirrored the Endowment Ceremony. There is no fucking way JS did not copy many parts of the Freemasons ceremonies and layout of the Lodge Room and Altar. Of course the meanings of both ceremonies are different, but so many of the parts are identical. Also, throughout the years, the Church has removed Masonic parts of the Endowment every time they've made changes to the ceremony

In Job’s Daughters (Masonic youth group) three raps meant stand up.

I never had a wrapper for my tapper in my tool box, or a fox that talks, or the smallest mallet on a pallet-
Or millet in my skillet, or a mullet that wasn't too short too long, but a song, so there's always that.

M@t

Hey man, don’t hate. It was like heavy metal, but all air guitar. We could rock it, couldn’t we?

All you can do is laugh at the guys who got high off their own supply. No wonder they fight so hard against their own therapy.

My cousin and I both do this regularly whenever we knock at the door at each other's house.

Tap. Tap. Tap."

"What is wanted?"

"I seek admittance into the holy of holies. I have no tokens for I have sold them all for money."

"Welcome, brother."

Then the door opens enough for a secret handshake and admittance is realized.