For once, I'm doing it. No presents, no Xmas music, no holiday cheer, no tree, no decorations, no nothing. I want it to be as if it's not happening at all.

I've really been thinking about it. Christmas isn't much different than Mormonism. They both require social pressure to function properly, they both require a sacrifice of time and money to make it good and if you don't want to participate, you're looked at like something is REALLY wrong with you.

Welp, those reasons and many more (fuck commercialism), made me realize there isn't really any point for a guy like me to celebrate. Nothing about these holidays mean anything to me other than an obligation to spend a stupid amount of money and travel.

I would personally grin from ear to ear if all of America just stopped buying stupid shit for the holidays and commercialism burned.

I look forward to any holiday.....with my kids & grandkids.

We celebrate.

It's not about Jesus......or Santa......or trees......or gifts.


It's just getting together......having a meal, having a few drinks, & sharing lots of memories & laughs.

Bah Humbug to all the silly expectations......make new traditions.

Gather together.....go to a movie, go on a road trip,
have a pot luck.

Enjoy & Celebrate being alive.


Tutu KJ

Care packages were mailed already.

It was a short naughty and nice list this year, so didn't have a whole lot to do.

Still have some gifts to wrap for co-workers, and that's about it.

Christmas decorations stay in storage except for a wreath on the door and a menorah for Hannukah.

"You're a cold one, Mr. Grinch...…."

I know, right? Those people who think I’m a killjoy are so antisocial.

I get that.
I've ignored a few.

When we want to get together and celebrate as a family or with friends, it's nice to do it on our terms now.

I hate the obligatory travel in the dead of winter, expected gift giving, etc. I hate that from Oct to Jan you can't escape Xmas music and the frenzy and distraction it creates. But I don't have to be a part of it now except on my terms.

I also remind myself that other people have not listened to the same dumb Xmas story and songs for 65 years like me so maybe I'm just tired of it.

My family and I came to an agreement to dial it way back on gifts. Now we just have one main gift and a few stocking stuffers. We put most of the emphasis on decorations, food, music, and the company of each other.

The decorations cheer me up during the dark days of winter.

Oh good grief, at least treat yourself to a nice dinner and a movie.
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face.
Be your own Santa Claus.

I'm giving myself a Hummel Xmas this year and ordered a bunch of figurines I didn't already have in my Hummel cabinet.
Their price wasn't even close to what we would have paid out in tithes if we were still Mormons.

MERRY CHRISTMAS !

My grandmother collected Hummels. What a lovely idea!

:)

My aunt collected them too.

And then my mother bought me my first ones many years ago.

Some of them came down from my Grandmother, so they have some years on them. One I inherited from my late MIL. I ought to get them appraised. I love them. There is such a sweet innocence about them.

Years ago while still TBM a relative sent me one of the Hummel Madonnas, the 11" one with the praying hands.

Knowing how the church felt about images of the Virgin Mary I gave the figurine away to one of my catholic friends.
Argh,the dumb things we do as Mormons!

Anyway,after we left the morg 20 years ago I replaced the one I gave away and added the Flower Madonna plus the Coptic Madonna.
I was cured of Mormonism LOL

I know how it is to be alone. The holidays are the worst. But the world is changing. Christmas means something. The Christ Mass, but in this age you can do better. Yes, it’s all a myth. But within your own heart, there it is true. We are all the baby Jesus, before a corrupted world takes our innocence.

Think about it. Nobody can save you from yourself. If you don’t think that’s true, look around you. It’s a messed up world. There can be no savior. That’s logic. What, Jesus is supposed to fix everything like magic? But that’s exactly the point. You are the Christ. Joseph Smith profaned it, and shame on him, but still it’s there. God is inside. Your savior is you.

I am with you, Vahn...and I kind of did the "same" thing, in a different way, when I became a Jew.

I grew up in this family to whom Christmas [Thanksgiving as well] was this HUGE thing--Norman Rockwell SATURDAY EVENING POST covers brought to three-dimensional, breathing, life.

We were among the topmost pinnacle of real life "Norman Rockwell, "picture perfect" families in the United States....by the LOOK of us, that is: all beautiful Christmas trees and reindeer and festively-wrapped presents, and "good cheer" (which, as the festivities went on, was increasingly fueled by alcohol).

The problem was, somewhere around the middle of the picture-perfect dining room table dinners (if it hadn't happened already, earlier in the day) the alcohol in the season's festivities usually, and emphatically, kicked in, and after that (so far as I was concerned), it was tragedy.

"I was concerned" a LOT, because (so far as I was able to perceive at that time) I was the sole person in my family who would not accept my family's racism (etc.), and sure as sure, a huge, alcohol-fueled argument would break out over how "un-American" my political sensibilities, and me myself, were.

(There were also, always, strong undercurrents of "something" I could never identify when I was growing up, but which were THERE, and were obviously setting off things I couldn't understand or cope with. Really WEIRD stuff, stuff that appeared to come out of "nowhere," and for which there was never any explanation (even when I asked, and I DID ask, a number of times through the years)...until some decades later, my Mom finally told me, under great duress, that I was actually not my father's biological child, but his brother's. Uhhhh....okay: The perpetual Christmas/Thanksgiving "mysteries" solved.)

In any case, year-by-year, every Christmas started off WONDERFUL ("picture perfect"-Norman Rockwell wonderful), but almost always ended in some kind of mass family conflagration that not only ruined Christmas, but also a good part of the following New Year....and sometimes, those injuries never healed.

(One year in particular stands out in klieg lights in my memory: I was in high school, and at the Christmas dining room table, with more than a dozen relatives there, my aunt went into a tirade that I was the object of, and most everyone else joined in and began, in unison, shouting at me, because I wouldn't back down on my support for civil rights. If you are wondering: I had NOT brought up the subject, my aunt had--and she had conveniently brought along with her newspaper "evidence" to support her position on this issue.) I never really healed from that--not to this day.)

For me, one of the best things about becoming a Jew was that I no longer had to "celebrate" Christmas.

It still is: on a personal basis, and for me, this is one of the best things about me now being a Jew.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 12/09/2018 12:53PM by Tevai.

Norman Rockwell paintings are almost ads for Prozac.

I skipped it last year. Will again this year. I hate christmas. I've hated since I was 10 years old and I had to do stupid family activities that stressed me out.

Now that my marriage of ten years is on its second year of seperation I look forward to no Christmas. I told my mom I won't be coming to anything.

I thought about celebrating a screw you Jesus day, where I burn a bible and make smores over its fire. Then get drunk watching cartoons.

I hate Christmas, I probably always will.

I skipped it entirely last year.
It snowed where I was-beautiful.
It was a magical day w/ others.
Did a few walks. Very simple.
I was in a very good state.
I didn't miss anything.

I don't know what this year will BRING
But I don't know what it will TAKE either

I could do Christmas every third year.
That's about when everything wears out.

M@t

Walking through a snowy forest and then sitting down to a nice meal is a wonderful way to spend Xmas.
I LOVE snow.

Great, there goes the economy.

80% of what we buy is useless, but apparently gives somebody something to do making it.

Buy more crap!

Ok, on behalf of all America we really don't care if you celebrate Christmas, but we're a bit weirded out that you want all of us to stop buying things, even if you think those things are stupid, and the grinning is just cringey. Scratch that, scroogey!

I skipped it last year; this year I'll hop it; next year I'll jump it.

M@t

I'm wondering exactly HOW you plan on skipping Chrismas? Are you going to hole up in the back of your house, or beat it to Tahiti? Are you going to eat nothing but Ensure, for fear of indulging, or cooking yourself a "feast"? Will you close your eyes when you see Christmas lights?

I agree with Elyse. Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. I'm afraid that the only person who will suffer your loss of Christmas is YOU.

I gave up MOMON christmas. Do you have any idea how good it felt tonight to see all the cars in the Mormon parking lot, for the Messiah--AND I WAS NOT THERE? After years of tedious rehearsals and stressful performances, I'm celebrating.

Along with celebrating the NOT doing, celebrate by doing something else, that you like better. Instead of performing in the Messiah, I played some of my favorite pieces of music on the piano, for hours.

Think of rewarding yourself from breaking free of your problems. Reward yourself for finding out The Truth. Lighten up, and have some fun!

Today, on my snow hike, a bunch of people were screaming and yelling, and behaving like idiots, and annoying everyone around them. I got upset, but then realized that I was there to enjoy myself. Whenever I get into hate-mode, it ruins my fun. Then I start complaining, and that ruins the fun of the people I'm with. I just made up my mind not to be annoyed. It was that simple.

Choices work both ways. The same (unwritten) rule that allows you to NOT celebrate Christmas, is the same rule that allows people to celebrate Christmas. All sane activities can be carried out without fines, arrests, social pressure, or people thinking something is really wrong with you. The judgmental idiots are breaking the rules, and you don't need to care about what they think.

Please, DO have some fun on your days off. Sleep, read, clean the garage, eat candy, or whatever your bliss is. "Restructure" your holiday. It's impossible to "Skip" it, altogether.

I was angry, when I left the cult. "Un-Mormonizing" my Christmas, made it better, for everyone in my family. We dumped Sacrament meetings, the boring firesides, awkward parties, and we started our own traditions, like skiing on Christmas Eve day. On Christmas, we don't make the women-folk slave in the kitchen and make a huge dinner. We play, and eat the goodies that people give us, and eat cheese, fruit, sandwiches, egg nog, and it's a free-for all. Everyone fixes their own snacks, when they are hungry. We sing and harmonize the Christmas songs we like, and not the Mormon dirges. We dance.

Something positive just might come of this. We discovered that it was more satisfying to give to real charities, real people in real need, than it was to pay forced tithing to a hoax that didn't need it. Give anonymously, and no one can criticize you for it. At the same time, do NOT give to groups that advertise too much, or push you. Don't support the stores, if you don't want to. Get all of your groceries in November, and freeze stuff.

If you don't like big parties, or family gatherings, do things one-on-one with each family member.

If someone sends you a Christmas card, will you hate them for it? That just makes you more unhappy.

Guy 3, it's OK to not go, but at least write your mother a nice letter, or call her, or Face-time her.

It isn't all-or-nothing. That kind of thinking should be left behind, when we leave the cult. Compromise is possible.

Mixed bag . Enjoy together with family for a night out with dinner and drinks . Enjoy giving them something they can actually use .now what i HATE Christmas music the list of crap music is too long but a few that drive me mental Santa Baby , Wonderful Christmas time by Sir Paul , Little Drummer boy, and anything done by rock stars who I love but want to slug in the throat when they do Christmas crap . Black Friday-'Thanks for ruining Thanksgiving . office Christmas parties . bad enough I have to work with some of you and now you want me to go out on a cold snowy Wednesday night and kiss ass . Sorry no .The best part of Cristmas is,when its over and the football feast begins . new Year Day starts with Irish Coffee and goes to every alcoholic concoction until being pretty wasted by halftime of the Rose Bowl and the celebration of Christmas being OVER

1, 2, 3, 4!
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nothin' but bad
I broke my bat on Johnny's bed
Somebody snitched on me
I hid a frog in sisters bed
Somebody snitched on me
I spilled some ink on mommy's bed
I made Tommy eat a bug
Bought some gum with a penny slug
Somebody snitched on me

I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and daddy are mad
I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad
I won't be seeing Santa Clause
Somebody snitched on me
He won't come visit me because
Somebody snitched on me
Next year I'll be going straight
Next year I'll be good, just wait
I'd start now, but it's to late
Somebody snitched on me

So, I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad
So you better be good whatever you do
'Cause if you're bad, I'm warning you
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas, Nuts!
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
Mommy and daddy are mad
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad!

"Well I'm getting nuttin' for Christmas
Because I contributed to the Green-House Effect
Which melts the Polar Ice Caps
Which melts the North Pole
Where Santa Clause lives, he's mad!"
Pbbth!
Stop!

Songwriters: Roy C. Bennett / Sid Tepper
I'm Getting Nuttin' For Christmas lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Carlin America Inc

No one has to celebrate Christmas if they don't want to.However,there are lots of things you could do that you might like. Have a meal with friends, Help a poor family. Point is you can do it your way

I agree that Christmas is a lot like Mormonism. The undertones of obligation and family duty were too much for me. Making sure you get all the right gifts for people is as bad as paying a full tithe or doing a calling you hate.

I haven't celebrated Christmas for decades other than eating peppermint brownies someone may bring to work or bringing a treat myself for every one.

For decades now I give gifts during the year when *they are not expected* just because I want to and because I know the gift is actually something they will like---like for sure. It has so much more meaning than anything obligatory. No phony "Oh I love this" being said as the receipt is being perused for returns. And nothing will get me in a mall again, thank you very much Amazon.

After reading this thread though, I am seeing a parallel with Mormonism that Christmas is such a monumentally important thing that if you don't celebrate it traditionally you *must* replace it with something else. When you leave Mormonism you don't need another church and when you skip the commercialism and obligation of Christmas you don't need to replace it with anything else either.

Life itself is enough if you are good at it, and if you are not, the last week of December is a great time to practice.

I would gladly give it a pass but for my grandchildren who will be here.

christmas is a time when we remember the past. which can be bad. It's a celebration of old and new and the changing of the year. Growing up in a large mormon family it was a really really big deal. And would go days on end at the grandparents house. I'm guessing that TBMs are even more hysterical in celebrating this holiday that other Americans.

From what I can see Mexicans don't make such a big deal out of Christmas. They certainly don't buy tons of expensive gifts for extended relatives or have week long parties that never seem to end. My mexican relatives don't even remember birthdays. It's all more reasonable and low key. They don't sit through weeks of choir practice either.

Not all Mexicans are like the ones you know. They are not all like your relatives.

Actually, what does the way we all celebrate the Holidays have to do with recovering from the mormon church ?

Go to the smaller communities in the SW,NM,AZ,CO. that are heavily Hispanics.

Christmas is Las Posadas, midnight mass, posole and tamales after mass at two in the morning getting up to presents of basics socks and underwater, maybe a basket ball and some board games that everyone could play.

Nothing extravagant, just family love that turned back into family fights by new years.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/13/2018 05:23PM by tumwater.

Done and Done,

I like your line:
"Life itself is enough if you are good at it, and if you are not, the last week of December is a great time to practice."

Also I am lusting after your peppermint brownies, yum!!!

Thanks!

I tried the ignore it approach Virtually impossible. If Christmas lasted a week I think I'd actually enjoy it. By the time it finally gets here I sick of dealing with it for weeks already. It's all about the money.
A friend suggested I try embracing it rather than fighting it. Nope. Can't wait for it to be over. All the build up and bang, it's over.

DH has been under the weather this year. I told our kids that I know they’ve been good boys n girls, but Dad is my only focus for now.

We have a family phone plan, so I told them, Merry Christmas, the entire phone bill is on me for 2019. But, shopping and mailing and driving—no way!!!

I’m just gonna stay home kissin Santa Claus. :)

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> DH has been under the weather this year. I told
> our kids that I know they’ve been good boys n
> girls, but Dad is my only focus for now.

I am wishing him every good thing, most importantly healthwise, for Christmas, and for the New Year to come.


> I’m just gonna stay home kissin Santa Claus. :)

The all-time best celebration of Christmas I can think of!
(For him, too! :D )

Thanks, Tevai!

:D

My grandmother loved it and so did my mother. My parents didn't have a lot of money to spend on Christmas, but my mother did a great job of making sure we all had a nice Christmas. My grandmother also bought us small nice things that she could afford.

My dad's sister had a Christmas party from before I was born on Christmas Eve. My grandparents on my dad's side were there and always gave us pjs for Christmas. We had the party until my aunt died about 8 years ago. Her party made such a huge difference in my life when I was struggling.

I love Christmas and I work all year to make sure I get things for all those people I love. I shop sales and find things for all my family. I don't have much money for Christmas this year, but I've already got enough for almost everyone. I didn't really feel like decorating this year, but I did and it made me happy. I do all the decorating. Everyone just knows I will. I have so many cherished ornaments and decorations like the nativity that my mother made for me when I was about 22 years old. I don't know what I believe in anymore, but I put it out because my mother made it. I usually make about 5 or 6 batches of fudge because all my neighbors want it and my cousins and my aunts when they were alive. I used to make small quilts for a lot of people Sometimes I've made up to 18 in a year.

My parents have been dead 10 years now. I'm missing them A LOT this year. I've sure needed them right now.

My whole purpose for Christmas is to make everyone else's nice. I get a lot of joy out of doing so.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/12/2018 08:49PM by cl2.

Reading it gave me a Christmas spirit boost. Thanks.

Vahn,

My sentiments exactly...

Just don't give up the 'Christmas Cheer'...

All the booze you can drink for the next few weeks!

Tonight I bought 2 bottles of Bailey's Irish Cream and a 12 pack of the new Budweiser/Jim Beam brew @ 6.2% alcohol !!!!

Yippee!!!!!!

Merry Xmassssssss!!!!!

I love Christmas! I have heard Christmas Carols for 76 years and look forward to it every year. I just consider it part of our culture. Viva Christmas!!

I hear you loud and clear. I've cut back incredibly and hope to one day just let Christmas slip away. I still do some Xmas cards (just to let a few people know I'm still alive) and only buy a present for my mom and sister. Mom doesn't care about presents but sis would throw a tantrum because her birthday and Xmas are two days apart. I buy their presents well before Christmas season so it limits the amount of time I have to spend in stores that bombard me with sales promotions, billboards, and tacky Xmas background music.

I find that the less Xmas music, TV, and decorations I encounter during the season the better my mood. I actually feel more Christmas cheer when there is less Christmas kitsch.

I celebrate the days growing longer, rather than shorter. It seems rather pagan, but that's the way I roll.

Seriously, with Toys R Us now out of business, I don't know where I'll get my grandkids gift cards.

I'll try to get some cards out, just to let people know that I haven't died, but that's about it. I still get cards from one of the mishies who taught me. I have never had the nerve to tell him that I left the church. He is a fine man and has a lovely family, and I enjoy hearing from them at Christmas.

I'm getting myself a UCLA Bruin keychain to replace the car-security fob that hasn't worked for years. DH, who loves knives, has sold a couple of his old ones and is getting himself a new one that is due to arrive any day, and it delights me to see how antsy he is about getting this new one.