"Struggling with the addiction to masturbation? Reach out to me and we will beat it together" -- Jesus






https://www.theverge.com/2018/12/17/18144520/russian-troll-ira-senate-intelligence-committee-report-masturbation-hotline-blackmail

"You can't hold hands with God when you are masturbating."

Or when you're not masturbating.

Or any other time.

Masturbation is a gateway drug to rape. It also leads to sexual dysfunction, erodes family values, and is a top ten cause of disease.

– Lonnie Childs

CrispingPin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Masturbation is a...top ten cause of disease.

Just wash your hands first.
Geez.

:)

It also makes you go blind

And don't forget that it makes you gay, according to Spencer W. Kimball.

Jesus cries and a kitten dies each time a person rubs one out.

Spencer Kimball wrote that when you (a man) masturbate the next step is to masturbate with another man. Mutual masturbation...and that leads to homosexuality.

So the only thing keeping me away from being gay is not masturbating?!! I think Kimball may have been gay.

> Spencer Kimball wrote that when you (a man)
> masturbate the next step is to masturbate with
> another man. Mutual masturbation...and that leads
> to homosexuality.

You missed a step, praydude. Kimball said masturbation leads to masturbation with another man, which leads to homosexuality, which leads to bestiality.



> I think Kimball may have been gay.

I believe that as well--and for the same reasons.

I only need reading glasses so far...just saying....

a kitten dies everytime a female does it,

a puppy dies for males.

Guess I'm a serial killer of puppies then. How is the species not extinct yet?

Poor puppies!!! I love puppies. I now hate males forever!
Wait, that’s not true , is it?

Problem is, there's never an employee around to wash my hands when I'm finished.

I'd rather hold my **** thank you.

Reach around me and we will beat it together -- Jesus

1 - 800 - stop beating; Press '1' for males, '2' for women, '3' for Mormons (Ready for a recorded msg from Hoax, Kimball & Rusty!) , '4' for all others...



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 12/23/2018 03:12AM by GNPE.

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> "Struggling with the addiction to masturbation? Reach out to me and we will beat it together" -- Jesus
>
> https://www.theverge.com/2018/12/17/18144520/russi
> an-troll-ira-senate-intelligence-committee-report-
> masturbation-hotline-blackmail

Beat It [by yourself] Jesus. You're the master. Bait is for fishing!
I won't reach out to you Jesus but you can reach out to me.
You might not catch me but I might not fall either.
I'm still climbing. I'm addicted to it. Getting higher!

Forget the hotline. Some need a cold line.
Some can't hold the line; others do just fine.

M@t

Does the LDS church have such a hotline?

And are there recordings of Boyd Packer ruminating about 'factories' on said hotline?

I have found it hard to call when I’m all tied up to the bed post.




__________


Is it a 1-900 number?


______

Transcript from an actual call started like this:


(Heavy breathing for a few seconds....) Hi.. what are you wearing?

Heh. Heh. Heh.

Russia Used SexToys To "Foment Discord" Says News Article:

https://youtu.be/xJadNzsIVxU

(If you’re *still* a victim of the most ridiculous propaganda campaign eveh, watch the above to the end.)

....did Spencer Kimball really write that..??! Yeah I'd say he was struggling with some issues.... o.O