The temple ceremony was revealed word by word because of its importance. This ceremony is essential to salvation and cannot be changed...except when we change it all the times.


We do not get involved in politics, except on those instances when we do

God has revealed the fullness of the gospel, a restoration of the original church...except when it looks bad and we need to change it.

The Prophets cannot lead the church astray, unless we realize later that what he said sounds nuts, then he was retroactively speaking as a mere man

Polygamy is both a requirement to enter heaven and a practice worthy of excommunication. It was restored to never be removed from the earth, unless we lose money.

Blacks were cursed and simultaneously never cursed, so we needed a revelation to grant them the priesthood while it was never the will of god

Woman are to obey their husbands unless kate kelly makes a fuss

Gender was assigned before we came to this earth, unless those teachings makes us look bad in which case we don't know why people are gay, we only know that we love them,,,wait or should we ban their kids?

The church's official name is...oh wait the RLDS copyrighted that name, ok we are mormons, nope, god does not want us to be Mormons, oh wait he does, oh wait he doesn't.

BREAKING: The lamanites are jewish, oh you discovered DNA science, then they were not

The BOM is a historical record, unless you find evidence it could not be, then it is an inspired book, not a historical record

The POGP was translated from papyrus...unless. wait we deciphered ancient Egyptian hieroglyphs? uuuh.. well it is not a translation, dummies. but we will still play the Anton whatshisname card to the kids, its an all-time favorite.

The lord wants us to meet day and night on the sabbath. The lord has realized that is really expensive and time consuming, so he has told us 3 hours, oh wait that is really long so he is amending it to two.

"The prophets being called of god" thing turned out to be a mess with BY, so we will just set up a corporation and the longest serving will be the next president, cuz god would remove any incapable man from leading his church, unless they end up a vegetable...oh wait the we are not doing it be revelation...

See, the church is unchanging, this proves we are the original, restored church of God.

Long slow clap while standing. Succinct and artful way to put it. I'd like to see any TBM find a rebuttal for that.

The Mormon God is a God of love, except when he encourages spouses to divorce each other over loss of belief, and children to disavow their apostate parents and withdraw visits to grand children, and treat their gay kids like pariahs. When the gay kids kill themselves no one says at their funeral "God called them home--he needed them more."

Not much has changed since Biblical times with the need to put lamb's blood over your door frame.

Thank you. Very kind of you. There is the church outside the doors and a totally different church once you join and have to help make the sausage.

It seems that God and politicians are very similar in that each can say something clearly and definitively, and in both cases they need someone to explain that they really didn't mean that.

Prophets, seers, and revelators--God's spin doctors.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2019 10:45AM by CrispingPin.

Families are forever and are the basic unit of the church but if you don't play by our rules you can wait outside the temple while they are married.

Wow! Some really eye-opening comments today!



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/04/2019 11:07AM by kathleen.

In another post you were saying that you always hoped to find here that "one line" that would make some family member see the truth. After reading this post by sb I feel like this is the one that would crack my TBM family.

I've been thinking about this one all morning. I saved it. I have a terrible urge to send it to them. I want to so badly. But, I know, nothing will work. Not even this layout of how wishy washy their church and prophets are and how wishy washy their supposed God is since he is not only part of the deal, but the cause of the mess. "The same yesterday, today, and forever," my ass!

The OP plays to the intellect and reason so I keep thinking this one is the one that would work since my family is very intelligent---all while my family is still trying to find that one special line that will rekindle my testimony! Makes this whole thing a draw. I guess everyone has to find their own way out. Still . . .

Thank you so much. Mormons posses a magical substance that allows them to gap any disparity in logic, doctrine, history, science or speech: blind faith. Combined with confirmation bias, it makes it impossible to have reason be anywhere near a religious conversation.

SB--I love your post, and the responses.

I'm archiving this, too.

I like the opinion of the OP.


I just want to mention a new (to me at least) trend among mormon apologists, specifically when the dismal prophetic powers of their chief god-wisperer is under discussion:

"Why don't you tell us what you think a prophet is and does. He's not a fortune-teller."


My thought is always, "You've anointed and sustained this bozo as 'prophet' - tell us what that means to you, specifically as to his job functions."

The response is typically some weasel-words amounting to "gather and lead the flock." The utter failure to actually deliver a meaningful prophesy is of course never faced head-on.

I agreed. If anyone gave them a litmus test, it was Jesus: by their fruits ye shall know them:

Prophesies, abysmal record

Allegiance to original teachings: horrible

Ability to bring people to real happiness: nope

Putting others before self: no, church first

New scripture: nope

Unchanging gospel: nope

Growth: negative

Superpowers: none

Infallibility: always wrong and trying to keep up with the rest of the world, to whom they always cave

Seer: not since Joe

Revelations: have admitted they go by inspiration, not revelation

Indeed. What does a Mormon prophet do?

Mormons love to say that God always works through a prophet and the "restored" church, ha ha, has a--ta dah!---Prophet! In the Bible God picked his prophets. Talked to them. Appeared to them. Set bushes on fire for them and etched some stones with his mighty finger. He taught one how to build an ark. Turned some staffs into snakes. Turned rivers red, parted the seas.

Isaiah had visions and made a prophecy of the Messiah. God himself said to Jeremiah, "Get yourself ready." Then he told Jeremiah stuff to do like stopping people from continuing to sacrifice their children to Moloch. How about Ezekiel. Again, God himself said to Ezekiel, "Son of Man, stand on your feet and I will speak to you." Then he told him stuff to do. Sometimes he sent chariots of fire for his prophets. Ahhh . . . Those were the days.

Of course none of this compares to the marvelous works and wonders of Modern day prophets who receive revelations from a notepad on their night stand and who have saved women from wearing too many earrings, and stopped their followers from the great sin of saying the word "Mormon." They funded Prop 8 and made their followers lose a lot of Moolah and then in an attempt to save face they kicked the kids of Gays out. They make changes to the most correct book and stammer when asked about DNA or steel and wheat and chariots and horses. They cough when asked about the BoA and funeral papyri.

That's what a Mormon prophet is and does.

Mormons, of course, would never use the word 'infallible" - that term has too obvious echoes of the Vatican. No, their chief god-wisperer is "inerrant".


Lucky for the Mo's the English-language provides a handy alternative to that term favored by the Church of Babylon.

I have never been wrong.

I thought I did once, but I was mistaken.

Great post. You caught the MormonCult in the act.

Excellent!