So I'm married to a lifelong TBM, she has always said "How can you criticize the BOM when you havn't read it"
So we read it together (we actually would follow along on Youtube BOM dictation videos while reading)
Wow, I guess I was wrong, its way more dumb then I thought!
So much filler "It came to pass" and other redundancies
Yes an uneducated man could of wrote it, shouldn't even needed the help of a few friends and plagiarism from other novels.
And how about this maddening random nonsense (see below)


5 Now the reckoning is thus—a senine of gold, a seon of gold, a shum of gold, and a limnah of gold.

6 A senum of silver, an amnor of silver, an ezrom of silver, and an onti of silver.

7 A senum of silver was equal to a senine of gold, and either for a measure of barley, and also for a measure of every kind of grain.

8 Now the amount of a seon of gold was twice the value of a senine.

9 And a shum of gold was twice the value of a seon.

10 And a limnah of gold was the value of them all.

11 And an amnor of silver was as great as two senums.

12 And an ezrom of silver was as great as four senums.

13 And an onti was as great as them all.

14 Now this is the value of the lesser numbers of their reckoning—

15 A shiblon is half of a senum; therefore, a shiblon for half a measure of barley.

16 And a shiblum is a half of a shiblon.

17 And a leah is the half of a shiblum.

18 Now this is their number, according to their reckoning.

19 Now an antion of gold is equal to three shiblons.

He's also the source for the quip that Christian Science is neither Christian, nor a science.

Alma

"5... a senine of gold, a seon of gold, a shum of gold, and a limnah of gold.

6 A senum of silver, an amnor of silver, an ezrom of silver, and an onti of silver."


All of this ancient America Jewish metal coinage and not a bloody dime of it has ever come outta the ground! What the hell?

Plain evidence that BoM is a work of historical fiction. Something like a lame imitation of Lord of the Rings.

I'd bet a shum of gold it's a plagiarized fake.

Here's one of my favorites. It was just SO HARD to engrave characters on the plates…

Jacob 4:1
"Now behold, it came to pass that I, Jacob, having ministered much unto my people in word, (and I cannot write but a little of my words, because of the difficulty of engraving our words upon plates) and we know that the things which we write upon plates must remain;"


…that only the most SIGNIFICANT things could be noted…

1 Nephi 6:3, 5-6
"And it mattereth not to me that I am particular to give a full account of all the things of my father, for they cannot be written upon these plates, for I desire the room that I may write of the things of God…
"Wherefore, the things which are pleasing unto the world I do not write, but the things which are pleasing unto God and unto those who are not of the world.
"Wherefore, I shall give commandment unto my seed, that they shall not occupy these plates with things which are not of worth unto the children of men."


…and then, these things of worth…

3 Nephi 2:4
"And thus did pass away the ninety and sixth year; and also the ninety and seventh year; and also the ninety and eighth year; and also the ninety and ninth year;"

4 Nephi 1:6
"And thus did the thirty and eighth year pass away, and also the thirty and ninth, and forty and first, and the forty and second, yea, even until forty and nine years had passed away, and also the fifty and first, and the fifty and second; yea, and even until fifty and nine years had passed away."

4 Nephi 1:14
"And it came to pass that the seventy and first year passed away, and also the seventy and second year, yea, and in fine, till the seventy and ninth year had passed away; yea, even an hundred years had passed away…"


Oh, and what you were reading is the end result of 190 years of editing and polishing. The original 1830 book is even dumber. It read like something from Lil' Abner.

outta the cult Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------

>
> 4 Nephi 1:6
> "And thus did the thirty and eighth year pass
> away, and also the thirty and ninth, and forty and
> first, and the forty and second, yea,

What, no forty/fortieth/fortyeth (whatever) year? Did I miss something?

...and three shall be the number of thy counting.

Holy, that was funny!

I read the BOM several times and it came to pass... I could not gain a true testimony.

Today I bought a book--Ten Thousand Miles with A Dog Sled, A Narrative of Winter Travel in Interior Alaska--412 pages.

After reading the BOM, yeah, I can get through this.

It showed great kindness and respect for you to read through the Book of Mormon to give it a chance to convince you of its truth.

As a young person, I read the Bible cover to cover, thinking that I shouldn't claim a book to be true without reading it in its entirety.

That book is another stinker. Unfortunately it took me a couple of decades to declare it as such. The best thing about having read the Bible is that people who want to thump it at me can rarely say they've read all of it. I tell them we'll talk after they've read it all--cover to cover--like a novel.

I hope your wife respects your assessment of the book. I'm thinking she thinks you didn't read it with a soft heart. Is she willing to read the essays for you?

Your post tickled me no end, HusbandofTBM. Worth a limnah of Gold for sure!

My all time fav
THE BOOK OF MORMON
CHAPTER 8
32 Yea, it shall come in a day when there shall be churches built up that shall say: Come unto me, and for your money you shall be forgiven of your sins.

Mormons generally don't get irony... and juxtapositions, and puzzles, when they relate to their religion.

Then there is the fact/ possibility that J.S., Jr. was setting a trap for them - to see if they could free themselves (generally with much lies, mistreatment, troubles, heartache, torture, abuse and neglect), at least before they died.

If Mormons knew, or cared, who they were and where they were/ are going they wouldn't need 'the church' misleading them, and telling them otherwise.

M@t

HusbandofTBM Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> So I'm married to a lifelong TBM, she has always
> said "How can you criticize the BOM when you
> havn't read it"
> So we read it together (we actually would follow
> along on Youtube BOM dictation videos while
> reading)
> Wow, I guess I was wrong, its way more dumb then I
> thought!
> So much filler "It came to pass" and other
> redundancies
> Yes an uneducated man could of wrote it, shouldn't
> even needed the help of a few friends and
> plagiarism from other novels.
> And how about this maddening random nonsense (see
> below)
>
>
> 5 Now the reckoning is thus—a senine of gold, a
> seon of gold, a shum of gold, and a limnah of
> gold.
>
> 6 A senum of silver, an amnor of silver, an ezrom
> of silver, and an onti of silver.
>
> 7 A senum of silver was equal to a senine of gold,
> and either for a measure of barley, and also for a
> measure of every kind of grain.
>
> 8 Now the amount of a seon of gold was twice the
> value of a senine.
>
> 9 And a shum of gold was twice the value of a
> seon.
>
> 10 And a limnah of gold was the value of them
> all.
>
> 11 And an amnor of silver was as great as two
> senums.
>
> 12 And an ezrom of silver was as great as four
> senums.
>
> 13 And an onti was as great as them all.
>
> 14 Now this is the value of the lesser numbers of
> their reckoning—
>
> 15 A shiblon is half of a senum; therefore, a
> shiblon for half a measure of barley.
>
> 16 And a shiblum is a half of a shiblon.
>
> 17 And a leah is the half of a shiblum.
>
> 18 Now this is their number, according to their
> reckoning.
>
> 19 Now an antion of gold is equal to three
> shiblons.

What did you get out of it (what are you saying?)? Any real treasure? Any gems? Anything good?

My wife had similar complaints about my criticism of the BoM (though I had read several chapters, here and there), so I promised her that I would read all of it straight through. She's dyslexic, so she thought it would be great for both of us if I read it to her. She had me stop reading it aloud after awhile because it was too difficult for me to read without laughing.

Oh, I did finish reading it, but I'm still waiting five years later for the testimony she promised I would have after reading it.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/07/2019 01:59PM by GregS.

GregS Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> My wife had similar complaints about my criticism
> of the BoM (though I had read several chapters,
> here and there), so I promised her that I would
> read all of it straight through. She's dyslexic,
> so she thought it would be great for both of us if
> I read it to her. She had me stop reading it aloud
> after awhile because it was too difficult for me
> to read without laughing.
>
> Oh, I did finish reading it, but I'm still waiting
> five years later for the testimony she promised I
> would have after reading it.

She may have had you stop reading it because it was too boring and atrocious.

How has her test-a-monkey grown - or shrunk - since then?

I would say that her testimony has shrunk to the point of being a Jack Mormon or a Social Mormon. She insists to the missionaries, HT, VT, and RS president that God knows how strong her testimony is, though she hasn't told any of them that she frequently drinks alcohol and had asked to be relieved of all callings at her last ward.

She's trying to turn over a new leaf at this new ward, but she has a bottle of wine that comes out after visiting Mormons leave.

Wow, some great stuff here!!! "Testi-monkey" thanks for the laugh!!!

And Ch. 8:32 was kind of skipped over in my SS. :)

Just talking to a friend last week. Her husband insisted that they read the BoM together, so they did. That did it for her. Reading the book, cover-to-cover, gave her an absolute testimony that the BoM is not true, in the least. So, she's done for good; and her conviction is built on the foundation of the truth of the BoM!

I have never encountered a situation that would cause me to read the Book of Morman. Thankfully.

Was doing some early spring cleaning the other day when I ran into a BOM in the night stand drawer.

Dare I lift it outta the drawer and read it?



I'm gonna need an ezrom of whiskey just to get through the first few pages...

First I want to thank everyone involved in this forum and all your great comments (wish I could love them)! I’m a longtime mostly lurker, I did a search of the few posts I’ve done. Update: I’ve read again the BOM (ugh) since then. I made a deal with my wife if she doesn’t pay tithing I’d read it again, I’d allow missionaries over, I’d attend church occasionally…I’m of course still a nonbeliever but unfortunately she still is, and TBM as ever.
For the most part things are well though.
I’d especially like to hear from others in “mixed” relationships for how your relationships are.
(We’ve been married 20 years, and divorce hasn’t crossed my mind, so no “run away” comments please

Some people are married to murderers. Yours sounds just fine.

Be happy.

My wife used to always attend church. It was not until a bishop did the order to pay tithing or else that upset the apple cart. After that I just stopped attending, she went here and there because she was pissed about the whole tithing incident, but as time went on she found she liked Sunday's off.

I traveled on Sundays and she would go with me, we went to movies, grilled during the summer, shopping, etc. She found this was far better than sitting in a stuffy meeting with people lecturing you. And anytime she brought up the we are going to be punished, I just remined her to look around at things going on in the world, and would follow with "I am sure God is not that petty".

So who knows, time only tells.

I was in a relationship very similar to yours. IMO, it can very hard on a relationship when one is a TBM.

-How do you deal with tithing?
#I told my wife I had no problem with her paying tithing as long as I got an equal amount to do with as I choose.

-How do you deal with other TBMs in her ward?
#Mormons are always trying convert. If you go to church once in a while, they still think they have a chance.

-After a while, I would get tired of her stupid sayings from the church. My favorite, "If you understood it, your would believe"
# I'm sure your wife always has a mormon quip for you.

-What about temple marriage and <cough> sealing?
#This was a major issue for my TBM wife. She even tried to get her endowments as a single woman. The church wanted my permission, which is weird.

The marriage did end but I blame myself for a lot it. I knew she was a TBM and I was a non-believer but I married anyway. Love conquers all, right?

I’d completely forgotten about an ezrom of stuff.

BTW, another serious problem is all this was tied to measures of barley. Barley is not native to the Americas.

Oops.

"D'oh!"

--God, who's inches away from pushing the button on another flood and starting over.

https://www.josephsmithpapers.org/paper-summary/book-of-mormon-1830/277

"And it came to pass that king Lamoni was much pleased with Ammon, and caused that his bands should be loosed; and he would that Ammon should take one of his daughters to wife. But Ammon saith unto him, Nay, but I will be thy servant; therfore Ammon became a servant to king Lamoni. And it came to pass that he was set, among other servants, to watch the flocks of Lamoni, according to the custom of the Lamanites. And it came to pass that after he had been in the service of the king three days, that as he was, with the Lamanitish servants, a going forth with their flocks, to the place of water, which was called the water of Sebus; (and all the Lamanites drive their flocks hither, that they might have water;) therefore as Ammon and the servants of the king were driving forth their flocks to this place of water, behold, a certain number of the Lamanites who had been with their flocks to water, stood and scattered the flocks of Ammon, and the servants of the king, and they scattered them insomuch that they fled many ways..."

I’ll give JS credit for one thing. He did know the difference between ‘lose” and ‘loose’, and did not interchange them.

Chloroform in print.

The two worst written books I ever read were The Book of Mormon and Mien Kampf.

So only the most important precious stuff was recorded....hahahahaha...sheeeeit....apparently you can make this shit up

But it's not a *history* book, it's a *religious* history book.

/s

P.S. The sealed portion of the gold plates is probably where you can find the instructions for setting up billion dollar shell companies....