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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 11:59AM

When I first came as a convert I did not have dresses or skirts since I wear pants at work. So I wore the same thing over and over. The Senior Elder lady made a pointed remark about my clothes.

Looking at that day's outfit, she said "we are supposed to wear our Sunday Best to church."

So I went out and spent a bunch of money on clothes.

I just don't see why appearances are so important in this church. Other churches you don't even dress up at all!

It is weird to me that there is so much emphasis on looks, while there is also an emphasis on making you poor through tithing!

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 12:10PM

Catch 22

You could spend your money to get church approved clothes but nothing for tithing, or you could tithe and not have any money to buy the appropriate clothes.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 02:10PM

Exactly. That's why I can't understand the emphasis on nice clothes. Wouldn't they rather have had the money on tithing?

Doesn't make any sense.

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Posted by: NormaRae ( )
Date: January 15, 2019 10:58AM

No, because the term "nice clothes," or your Sunday best or whatever does not have anything to do with nice or costly clothes. It just means women in a skirt, men in a white shirt. It means wear the uniform and conform.

I only put on a dress a couple times a year at the most anymore. But my everyday business casual type work clothes are for the most part much nicer than anything I ever wore to mormon church. But it would be considered not "nice" enough for church. Go figure.

Most of the women I work with are very professional, many of them attorneys and tax accountants, and can be seen in VERY expensive business power suits (pant suits) that are way nicer than mormon mom dresses. But putting them up against a man with his big gut hanging over his Mr. Mac suit would project the absolute wrong image TSCC wants to project. They do not want to see women looking as powerful as men. The dress requirement sends the statement that they are the subservient class, NOT the power class.

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Posted by: sbg ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 02:13PM

Being a wiseass I would have said this is my Sunday best, you should see what I wear the rest of the week.

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Posted by: GNPE ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 02:33PM

methinks the term 'Sunday Best' is a left-over from agrarian days when most folks wore overalls & did housecleaning in a 'house dress'.

the Blacksmith, the cobbler, and the guys at the lumber mill, the coal mine & the Railway wore clothing appropriate to their occupation, the others were accountants & Bankers, with a few lawyers thrown in for good measure.

(women) teachers, secretaries & telephone operators often couldn't afford multiple outfits, they had to 'make do'.

A Classic case of Mormon Uppity-ism, Snobbishness, & 'I'm better than U are' if U ask me...

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 03:20PM


Love your answer, thank you!


Yes, it was very strange, I have worked in a professional capacity for years and to be given the once-over and be found wanting by this senior was very strange to be 'disapproved of' just for clothes...

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Posted by: exminion ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 03:52PM

When I went to BYU, females were not allowed to wear pants on the campus. Three girl friends and I were walking back from Downtown Provo, in the winter, and were bundled up in warm pants and coats. We decided to go see the campus movie, which was in the Wilkinson Center, on the way back to the dorm. We were furious, when they wouldn't let us in the movie, because we were wearing pants. I said, "Would you let us in the movie, otherwise, if we weren't wearing pants?" They said they would.

We went into the bathroom, and took off our pants, and put them into our shopping bags. Our coats came to just above the knee, and we were bare-legged, with just underpants, but they let us in.

Makes no sense.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 05:29PM

Wow! What year was this, approximately?

I do remember all schools, such as public high schools, used to have dress codes requiring dresses for women.

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Posted by: summer ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 06:51PM

"Oh, I wouldn't worry about it, I'm sure that you look just fine. We all have days when we pull old things out of the closet. That's such a great retro look."

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Posted by: Shinehah ( )
Date: January 11, 2019 07:24PM

Likely the senior lady's remark was less about your appearance and was more about trying to teach you obedience and conformity - two of the first principles of the modern church.

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Posted by: Heartless ( )
Date: January 12, 2019 04:27AM

When ever someone remarked on what I wore to church I'd simple state I wasn't a Zoramite.

The Zoramites in the Book of mormon denied people entry into their churches if they didn't have fancy clothes. The Book of mormon condemned this practice. Of course the doctrines in the book of mormon have nothing to do with the modern Brighamite church.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: January 12, 2019 10:51AM

Be RICH, Look POOR...
And vise versa.

More about looks than feelings-


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Posted by: olderelder ( )
Date: January 12, 2019 11:58AM

It's a religion whose scriptures preach prosperity is God rewarding your righteousness. Prosperous people dress well. If you don't dress well, other Mormons will think you're not prosperous and therefore not righteous. Unrighteous people should be avoided so their unrighteousness doesn't rub off on you.

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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 13, 2019 05:56PM


Thanks, that really sums it up! Poverty being contagious and all...

Also explains why the wealthiest people become the Bishop and his assistants....

Shineha, I hadn't thought of that and I think you are right.

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Posted by: kathleen ( )
Date: January 14, 2019 01:09AM

(to paraphrase) Wallace Stegner described his teacher -- "Her taste in clothing meant showing up with something on."

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2019 01:10AM by kathleen.

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Posted by: babyloncansuckit ( )
Date: January 14, 2019 01:35AM

You could wear a friar robe. It doubles as a costume for Renfair.

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Posted by: tumwater ( )
Date: January 14, 2019 02:19AM

Based on other messages on Rfm, why not ask for the official rules about appropriate dress, not some statement by someone at a general session or meeting.

Something in writing just like JS declared like polygamy, etc.


Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 01/14/2019 02:22AM by tumwater.

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Posted by: cocoaberry ( )
Date: January 14, 2019 10:27PM

The opposite was true in a couple of the wards I attended. Yes, there were always the women who were super fashionable and trendy. But, there were also women who wore the same '90s dress every Sunday. Even the bishop's wife looked like she was straight out of the 80s.

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Posted by: moremany ( )
Date: January 15, 2019 12:49AM

Looking better makes a Mormon feel better...

From the looks of it, it's all about looks.


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Posted by: mel ( )
Date: January 15, 2019 10:35AM


Great idea! I LOVE the Ren Fair! Could really get into wearing that clothing to church and seeing whether it would start a trend!


It looks like you are right.... :)

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