No surprise that this is a play on Gordon Lightfoot's 1976 "The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald." If you haven't yet listened to it, this is your chance.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9vST6hVRj2A[Interesting that this video has by itself received over 43 million views, or *about 2⅔ times* what the church claims as its total worldwide membership.]
"The Wreck of the Mormon Ship Zion"
The leaders are senile and deep in denial
in their fantasy church that is growing.
Enfeebled and old, they could not have foretold
of the Internet hurricane blowing.
For many a year they used guilt, shame and fear
in forcing the sheep to compliance.
"Pay, pray and obey" was all they would say
and seldom met any defiance.
Boyd Packer was a curse and made everything worse
as he sucked the joy out of existence.
The church doubled down and supported that clown
while draining wards to bare subsistence.
The lessons got dumb and the members grew numb
out of boredom and meetings unending.
They shuffled through the halls as the church built its malls
and McTemples through billions in spending.
As the Internet grew, the church imagined it knew
how to control it and thus share The Gospel.
But it couldn't be tamed, so the message became,
"Avoid non-approved sources, they're hostile."
The trite "Doubt your doubts" means they're scared we'll find out
the truth and the facts they've been hiding.
They pretend it's our soul, but their number one goal
is to keep on collecting our tithing.
Church essays, "inspired"? No, they kind of backfired,
their anonymous word salad jumble
on Facsimile Two and the sleaze of Nauvoo
causing uncounted full shelves to crumble.
When people take note of Brigham Young's racist quotes,
the new excuse sounds lame and weary –
"The black priesthood ban? He was speaking as a man;
the curse of Cain was just a theory."
From when they arrive the church steals members' lives;
its rules and demands are depressing,
While those having brains who can throw off their chains
find that freedom to live is a blessing.
The church will corrode as it slowly implodes
while promising things will get better:
"Be steadfast and true, and whatever you do,
steer clear of the CES Letter!"
You can't fix it when you have fifteen old men
whose lives are cocooned in a bubble,
Being endlessly wrong, so it doesn't take long
to burn all of their truth claims to stubble.
There's Jeff Holland's lies and Dave Bednar's dead eyes,
and Oaks and his trademark gay-hatin',
Then Nelson chimes in with his vulturine grin,
saying "Mormon's a big win for Satan."
"Stay in the boat" – though it barely can float –
"Have faith in The Lord, just like Lehi!"
But what they won't say, which will give it away,
is the water's no deeper than knee-high.
The doctrine is vague and the culture's a plague,
full of gossip, gaslighting and lyin'.
But one day it will pass, so let's all raise a glass
to the wreck of the Mormon ship Zion!