Brother Of Jerry
Date: February 04, 2019 01:06PM
The thread about the Signal to Go to Missouri got me thinking about all the stuff that Mormons knew quite a bit about when I was a kid in the 1950s.
Ah, yes, the good old days, when Mormonism was loaded with fruitcake theology.
We used to know how Jeebus was going to show up in Missouri, and how we were going to join the party.
We knew exactly what nationalities were descended from which sons of Jacob, and which nationalities were the cool ones (NW Europe, basically), and which were second string, and which could only be equipment managers, but couldn't join the team. Thanks, Alvin R Dyer.
We knew at some point the entire government was going to collapse. (The only scenario in which a 2 year supply makes any sense at all, and even then not much sense). We knew, thanks to Cleon Skousen, that an uprising of blacks would trigger this collapse (book: The First 2,000 Years)
We knew polygamy was banned only because of the evil gummint, and it was coming back sooner or later. For not a few people, it never ceased.
We knew the Lost Ten Tribes were living somewhere in the Arctic, probably underground, since there was not a whole lot of unexplored territory on the surface left where their no doubt monumental civilization could hide. To Mormons back in the late 1950s, "Journey to the Center of the Earth" was a docudrama. (I kid)
And of course everybody knew in fine detail who would and wouldn't get their own planet, and who would and wouldn't get a TK Smoothie.
There was some debate and confusion about who could qualify for Outer Darkness. The general feeling was that women in the LDS Church didn't qualify to get sent to Outer Darkness, because, well, women didn't really qualify for much of anything except motherhood, doing what they were told, and being told to stand on a pedestal and keeping their mouths shut.
Oh, and we knew where all Native Americans and south sea islanders came from: Jerusalem. That made them a little bit cool, but not nearly as cool as the Brits and Scandinavians that settled/occupied Utah in the 19th century.
Damn, we used to know a lot of stuff.
OTOH, we had no idea Jesus cried when someone said "Mormon".
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/04/2019 01:14PM by Brother Of Jerry.