MMM--not that one---the other one: Mormon Martyr Mindset.

"Tis better far for us to strive, our useless cares from us to drive."

Or, translated, "Quit whining and pay your tithing."


Come, come ye Saints, no toil nor labor fear, but with joy, wend your ways.

"We don't have paid clergy and we don't even have paid janitors now. God wants you to be thrilled to ignore your family and whistle while you work. Smiles everyone!"




My father was bishop for eleven years of my youth. I barely saw him and when I did it was usually for discipline or to make sure I was doing my chores. I grew to hate him as a teenager. He was a good man but I never even realized that until much later in life and our relationship became something wonderful in the end. But we were robbed by that church of what should have been all along.

And my favorite--"And should we die before our journey's through, Happy Day! All is well!"

Yay! We died doing the Prophet's bidding. How fantastic is that!




Any Mormons lurking, I want you to know one thing. The Mormon church is damaging your family and you are losing time doing callings that you will never get back. Time together should be learning about each other not learning about how to stifle all that is natural and good within yourself, learning to truly connect.

I miss my dad today like I missed him even when he was here.

All is well, Mormons? Go to hell!

Done & Done Wrote:

> My father was bishop for eleven years of my youth. I barely saw him

Yes. This is so hypocritical, saying the family is so important yet making people do crap that takes their time away.

Mormon-speak took me a while to learn:

children=only important as future tithe payers
callings=unpaid chores;
"I'll call you"=please go away
"It's what makes us different"= there is no reason for it

D&D and Mel.

I haven't shown your posts to DH yet. But things just turned the corner of where DH and I will relocate. Long story, but thanks to you, things will be different around here.

kathleen Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Long story, but thanks to you, things will be different around here.

Glad for you!!! :) :) :)

You're going to be moving?

Please keep me informed. You have my e-mail.

Are you leaving Cali or just your area?

Thanks, Amyjo. :)

I think I have your email all wrong. I will try to send you something today. Let me know.

Will do!

D&D, sorry about the turn taken in your thread. You deserve better.

Yes, my fault and I apologize for that, D&D.
Your thread made me and DH say, Damn the torpedos, we need to get near our sons. They miss their dad. They say you can’t follow you children, but we are going to. They ended up in Utah bc of BYU and this horrible religion. No more separation for us. Lucky their wives adore me.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2019 02:39PM by kathleen.

All is well, All is well . . . as the song goes, haha.

Here's to damning the torpedos!

I understand with the complaint that the Mormon cult comes first before family. In my family, my 92 year old grandma lives with my aunt in bountiful Utah. Grandma has only lived in Utah since august of 2018 right when grandpa died.

Well now the aunt and uncle want to go on a senior mission for the cult and leave the country. never mind about grandma who needs 24 hours watching over.

SO now grandma is moving back to Arizona where she just came from in august of 2018, where she can be with her other kids.

So does my aunt not realize that when she leaves out of the country for her senior mission, that she will never see her mother again?

That's the Mormonism for you, it's a shame that my aunt has lost her priorities. My tbm mother and uncles don't understand her mindset, but again they don't live in bountiful like my aunt does.

frankie Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Well now the aunt and uncle want to go on a senior
> mission for the cult and leave the country. never
> mind about grandma who needs 24 hours watching
> over.

Sounds to me that they are selfish, don't want to take care of grandma, and use the cult as an excuse. My take on it.

Her parents are 80 and 86. The mission is at the bottom of South America. I'm sure that within that 3 years, at least my aunt will have passed away.

You don't know until you've lost them how important it is to spend time with them. I spent time with my parents, BUT I still miss them A LOT every day even after 10 years. I wish I had spent more time with them.

As for my father, he wasn't into callings. He was into supporting his family. He taught school and ran his farm. We didn't see him much either unless we were working on the farm all summer long, but he was gone during the days as he was over FFA and worked year round for the school district. My mother did the child rearing, all of it. I was lucky that my family wasn't SO MORMON.

How about death before dishonor?

I hated those morality tales (that I've since learned that are bunk). I think the more common one used in the church was "It's better to come home (from a mission) in a pine box than to come home early."

Do you know what it was like to listen to young men and women say that [while serving on a mission] this was the greatest time of their life and they wouldn't mind if it was their time to die?

It made me sick to hear that. I never shared that view and I was ready to go back home after a year of being a volunteer. But my TBM Mom would have died from embarrassment. She was actually upset because she didn't know how to explain that Messy came home "honorably" one month early.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/12/2019 03:18PM by messygoop.

messygoop Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Death before Dishonor....

Glad you made it back, Messy. Again, this is likening knocking on door and selling religion to some sort of military battle...which it isn't.

Having all missions last the same 2 years regardless of circumstances is just as ridiculous and inflexible as prescribing all churches to have the same music, same 2-hour block, same subjects for speeches. Inflexible and unreasonable.

I mean, most life events you have a choice-you can do college in 6 years or 3 years or never, you can work full-time or part-time, but the Mission is the same for everyone. Just more teaching blind obedience.

We have a blended family: his (2-raised Catholic), mine (1-raised Mormon), & ours (1-raised with a little of everything, but started out Mormon).

When our youngest was about 4, I was bringing his sister to Mormon church and asked if he wanted to come. He responded that Mormon church says family comes first and if God wanted him at church, his big brother wouldn't go away on Sunday (shared custody). He said he was staying home with his brother. I couldn't argue with his logic. He was right.

He understood it from the start.

geekchick Wrote:

> He responded that Mormon church says family comes first

Unless they happen to live across the street and are compelled to go to a different ward.

> He understood it from the start.

Smart kid.

I love this story. And the little children shall lead them, or something like that.

That's really sad about your dad.

I wonder if he had regrets about all that wasted time ?

Mormon doesn't make sense, because of all the half-truths, but often Mormons say the very flat-out OPPOSITE of the Truth.

For example, "Court of Love,"
Or, "Fast Sunday,"

For example, Mormon couples are promised that if they go on a mission, that their entire family will be blessed! You have probably heard that as many times as I have. How does that make sense, that neglect makes anything better?

My cousin had to leave her ill mother to go be Mission President's Matron (or whatever they call the MP's wife). Her 95-year-old mother lived in assisted living, nearby, and she died while my cousin was on the mission. My 73-year-old cousin flew back for her mother's funeral, alone, half-way across the world, and she was not well, herself. The non-Mormon half of the family would say, "Where the Hell is your husband?" No one praised him for being such a dedicated MP.

My neighbors left on a senior mission, when their daughter was having marital problems. He sold his business, and used the money to pay for their mission. The daughter got divorced, with 13 children, and had no place to live, because the missionary parents were renting their house, and no business in which she could have worked to support her family. The ward didn't offer to give them room and board. They were a disaster.

I, too, wonder if these people just flee away on a mission, to escape their problems, and leave everything in "God's hands." Mormon denial and superstition.

Another neighbor couple went on a mission, and while they were gone, the business partner absconded with all the money from their business, and left the country. When they got home, they had to start over, at age 68.

The neighbors directly across the street kept going on multiple senior missions, while both of their daughters had affairs and lost their marriages and custody of their children. The neighbor's wife would come home sick, and as soon as she recovered, they would go on another mission. After the third mission, they came home, and she died a week later. During that mission, the renters started a house fire.

Families, and businesses, and your life need you to be present. They thrive only with nurturing and hard work. Damn, if you have to neglect something, neglect the heartless cult--not the people in your life who need you. Mormon fools!

exminion,

Wow some horrendous stories here. How sad about those lives damaged and people in their senior years giving up or losing so much for such stupid reasons.

Thanks for the cautionary tales, Ex!

I always made it clear when callings were being offered to me, I made it clear that my family and work always came first since I'm self employed. I always called my shots and they knew when to back off.

Which is interesting.

Church power gets pretty small when met with clear and principled limits.

Eric3 Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Which is interesting.
>
> Church power gets pretty small when met with clear
> and principled limits.

For the longest time, the church got away with conditioning members to accept callings that they could not possibly fulfill. It was part of the brainwashing because you couldn't say "No". It was taught that if you said no, then you were personally saying No to the Lord.

Exactly. The bishop was only the conduit for the calling coming from God. That is what I was taught. I'm sure my father believed that and because of that he always served no matter what they asked. And that is how they get good people to place church above family.

When I hear the lyric, "Working for the church while your family dies," from Arcade Fire's Neon Bible album, the words take on greater significance knowing at least a few of the singers were involved with the Mormon church as youth.

Done & Done, I am truly sorry for your missed time with your Dad because of the MormonCult...and this kind of church commitment screams cult BIG time in my book. I am happy that you finally had wonderful together time you can cling to and remember.

I regretably have only two good memories with my Dad and that is it because he and alchoholism were best pals. For a long while, I can say I had nothing but hate for him. Our family of five children was a mess....in an alcoholic family you learn to not talk, to keep secrets, and sadly, not to trust anyone.

I needed counseling to understand and manage the hurdles, but this I fortunately found. Here I received the tools to learn to try and replace hate with knowledge and then finally, hopefully, some level of sanity and forgiveness. I wish I could have learned my dad's story from he himself before he died of alcoholic related causes which would have been a miracle indeed. And, learning info from other family members, especially my mother, was a lost cause, there would certainly not be a miracle here either as no one would/could talk...they had all learned well to zip those lips. But, there was one exception to this silence - one thing that did get said multiple times - which was, "You are just stirring up THINGS that can't be changed and are better left buried. You are causing nothing but trouble and sadness, so find something else to do." Yeah? who is it better for? Certainly not me.

I did find out that Mormonism was a factor in all of this, with my Dad's parents both leaving Denmark for the new, better life they were promised in Utah by conman Joey. And, my Dad came from a family of 9 children so that part was definitely Mormon related.

I wish I could get the TBMs I love to read and absorb the rest of your post-thoughts; loved how you expressed them. Thanks.



Edited 3 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2019 03:45PM by presleynfactsrock.

Guess I was thinking about my little Pop today, and thought of your thread, D&D.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/16/2019 09:15PM by kathleen.