a key attribute that they were known for.

William the Conqueror

Ivan the Terrible

Charles the Mad (Charles VI, King of France)

Bloody Mary/Mary the Bloody (Mary I, Queen of England)

Thomas the Albanian-Slayer (King of Greece)

Haakon the Broad-shouldered (Haakon II, King of Norway)

Edward the Hammer of the Scots (Edward I, King of England)

I think that this tradition should also be followed in the LSD Church, so that children in Sunday School can have an easier time remembering the lives and deeds of the illustrious prophets of Mormondumb.

Just a few that come to mind:

Spencer the Lamanite Whisperer

Russell the Nickname Slayer

Thomas the Succorer of Widows

Gordon the Slick

Howard the Brief

Lorenzo the Maker of the Futile Couplet

Brigham the Harem Builder

Wilford the Harem Loser

Heber the Prohibiter


Any further suggestions?

Joseph the Conman.

Ezra the Anti-communist.

I can't remember what the couplet is. I must be way over moism. I know we used to talk about it here often.

of eternal progression: "As man is, god once was. As god is, man may one day become." (Something like that.)

It was credited to the "Prophet" Lorenzo Snow and figured prominently in conference talks, Sunday School lessons, testimonies, etc. for generations. Nobody would have ever thought that it was anything other than one of the central beliefs and doctrines of the entire faith system.

But then, one fine day, Gordon B. Hinckley, in an interview with a heathen reporter, simply waved it away as though it was an embarrassment too silly to discuss, referring to it as being "a couplet more than anything else".

-------
San Francisco Chronicle
SUNDAY INTERVIEW -- Musings of the Main Mormon
Gordon B. Hinckley, `president, prophet, seer and revelator' of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, sits at the top of one of the world's fastest-growing religions

Don Lattin, Chronicle Religion Writer

....

Q: My understanding of the Mormon Church is that you see your church as a restoration of the original church.

A: Right. Not a reformist church but a restored church.

Q: There are some significant differences in your beliefs. For instance, don't Mormons believe that God was once a man?

A [Hinckley]: I wouldn't say that. There was a little couplet coined, ``As man is, God once was. As God is, man may become.'' Now that's more of a couplet than anything else. That gets into some pretty deep theology that we don't know very much about.

----[Subsequently in the same interview, he seemed to reverse himself and commit to part of the doctrine of eternal progression, but he left a lot of confusion in his wake...and he appeared to stick with his denial that Mormons believed that God was once a man. So the "prophet" was just shooting from the hip and canceling out one of the core beliefs of Mormons as casually as one might order a cheeseburger.]

Boyd the Tolerant. No, that doesn't work, how about:

Boyd the Historian. Nah, maybe:

Boyd the Truth Defender. Nope.

Boyd the Little Factory Supervisor?

CrispingPin Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Boyd the Tolerant. No, that doesn't work, how
> about:
>
> Boyd the Historian. Nah, maybe:
>
> Boyd the Truth Defender. Nope.
>
> Boyd the Little Factory Supervisor?

That needs a hyphen: "Boyd the Little-Factory Supervisor."
Otherwise it might be interpreted that Boyd is little and
supervises a factory.

David O the Halo Haired

David the Beardless

Even I, a nevermo from the East Coast, knew the famous couplet when we lived in SLC in the early 70s! Also knew about the secret undies and that you were not supposed to let them be seen hanging on your clothesline. I read "No Many Knows My History" then so was aware of Joe Smith's many wives.I went to a small museum where several polygamous family trees were displayed, and a tour of Lion House where they were proud to say Brigham's many wives lived there. How times and the Mo Church have changed!

Also some good king names left out, "Ethelred the Unready" and Charles the Bald".

Oaks the Knife

Wally, these are hilarious!

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Dew the He-Man
Wendy the Walking Warrior

Wally Prince Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Any further suggestions?

Rusty The Wendy Spooner

Thomas The Widow Washer

Gordon The Interviewee Awarded

Ezra The Agrahater

Spencer The Gay Fencer

Harold B. Legal - Founded BYU's Law School

LeGrand Staircase Richards - Monumental Marvelous Works and Wonders in Southern Utah.

David Bad Oman McKay - Every murmurer a mercenary.

Gordon B. Wrinkley - referring to his "Depends" - "they sustain me as such."

Alvin R. Dyer - The best non-member of the Quorum of the Twelve tithing can buy.

Wendy Elementary Watson - "Detectiving" the sixth grade level of her husband's revelations as translated correctly by her partner Sherlock Sheri.



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 02/13/2019 04:18PM by cricket.

LOL!

Gordon The Sustained

I've always felt sorry for Mary Stuart ("Bloody Mary"). From what I've read, she was a sweet and gracious lady, kind to her friends, looked out for her half-sister young Elizabeth (remember that the court they grew up in was a very treacherous one). Under other circumstances, she would have been a true and loyal friend.

It is a terrific oversimplification to say that religion messed her up, but I think that is the case. She probably got it from her mother, for whom religion proved to be her deliverance from the horrible Henry VIII. (Being unable to bear a viable boy-child helped.)

Mary would probably have sent me to the stake in a heartbeat, so I'm glad that we didn't live in the same era. Mary got a bad rap for something that wasn't really her fault.

+1

Rockwell the Holy Sniper

Moses the Bush Burner

Sidney the Cult-hopper

Bennett the Babycide

Emma the Sidekick

Luman the Magician

Lucy the Spooky

I got one! How about Dieter the Defeated!?!?

Lehi the Imaginary

Nephi the Imaginary

Alma the Imaginary

Mormon(whose name shall not be spoken)the Imaginary

Moroni the Imaginary

Kimball the Writer of the Scariest Book Ever (Miracle of Forgiveness)

McKonkie the Doctrine Maker

Dunn the Never Done It

Kimball the Closeted