ENSIGN ARTICLE 5 Do’s (and 2 Don’ts) When Inviting Friends to Church

https://www.lds.org/ensign/2018/12/5-dos-and-2-donts-when-inviting-friends-to-church?lang=eng


if this isn't dishonest i don't know what is BUT if i think about it for a while this is exactly the kind of thing i fell for.

there were all of these nice people doing nice things and not once was i ever told that when i jointed i would be one of those idiots assigned to the chain gang.

someone in SM had some guts and in their talk said there were 3 kinds of people that are in the church:

1.the ones that are stuck via being sealed

2. ones that stay for the social part (social part no longer there so they can now leave)

and

3. the fools that really believe it and do all the work for the first two groups. this is the group that gets burned out and leaves.

feel stupid that i was in the last group but glad to get burned out and finally left after 35 years.

I live in Utah and I am the only non=Mormon most of my neighbors and coworkers know. I am going to be a target again? Thanks for the warning.

a target or a mark like the rest of us.

Here's my list:

Do's

-Encourage your friend to take a sleeping pill, everybody falls asleep in sacrament; including the bishop

-Plug your nose!
Yes, the building always smells bad.

-Bring ear plugs.
Kids are free ranged and they run wild all over the place yelling, screaming, fighting and kicking.

-Bring your checkbook.
The church wants your money. The church is broke and needs your help.

Don'ts

-Avoid the bathroom. Volunteers do a poor job because their glutton church is too cheap to pay a professional custodian.

-Expect people to be unfriendly. Members are assigned to pretend to care.

-Ask any question about JS because he was a good person that has been defamed by anti-church members.

-Expect members to know anything about their religion that isn't approved by their expert testimony.

-Bring up pesky facts that would disturb the spirit of gospel doctrine class.

I would add this one:

Don't invite friends to church on fast Sunday, because testimony meeting just freaks investigators out. Open mike night with all sorts of weirdos and cranks speaking heresy and mysticism and boring personal irrelevancies. Definitely not a good first impression.

I would say bring them so they can see what a bunch of nutty unstable weirdos they are getting with.....freak show

I concur

Dave the Atheist Wrote:
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> I concur

Me too!!!!! So many old people getting up there and sobbing!!!!! I saw the he warning signs but got sucked into coming back but if it weren’t for a friends pressure would not have!!!

I could have done without the sobbing cowboy in my first sacrament meeting. The warm welcome in RS was like rain in the desert. It wasn't the doctrine that got me. It was how nice the people were. (Which changed when I moved closer to SLC.)

Nonsense - Mormon Sob Theater is one of my fondest memories.



Not ...

So, how do you know when Fast Sunday is, if you're a non- member? Is it like election day, the first Tuesday (not on the 1st of the month) in November? How does that work? Can you bring a snack if you're a visitor?

Boy you can say that again.

Question. Do cats have some sort of spiritual significance that I don't know about? Because every fast and testimony meeting, somebody always had a "spiritual cat story". It used to drive me crazy!

I remember commenting to my mother one FaTM that we probably wouldn't hear these kind of testimonies in Vietnam. I had just learned in High School that in Korea, Vietnam and some areas in China, they eat cats.

I thought it was funny, but my mother gave me the look of death.

"Ask your friends if they have a place to worship the Savior and invite them to come worship with you, especially at times like Christmas and Easter."

That should send them running away quickly. Most other churches pull out the stops for these two holidays.

If conference falls on Easter, the chapels will be shuttered.

summer Wrote:
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> "Ask your friends if they have a place to worship
> the Savior and invite them to come worship with
> you, especially at times like Christmas and
> Easter."
>
> That should send them running away quickly. Most
> other churches pull out the stops for these two
> holidays.

I know!!! There was one crummy donated tree and this year no service at all on Christmas since it was on Tuesday.

As those old police say “move along nothing to see here” hahah

summer Wrote:
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> "Ask your friends if they have a place to worship
> the Savior."

1) Convince them they are defective
2) Convince them that they need to be "saved"
3) Totally fail to explain just exactly what they need to be "saved" from
4) Convince them that, whatever it is, you have the solution.
5) Then maybe they might want to go somewhere to "worship" this savior guy.

"Discussion of specific doctrines and beliefs can come later."

Bwa-Ha-ha-Ha-ha-ha!!-

The come right out and admit they are hiding stuff.

It's a sneaky cult, folks.

Family history and lessons for the kids. What--no baseball? No fun activities? No beach parties or ski trips? No lovely music? No uplifting sermon? No love? The Mormons have got to do better than that.

Right at the start, most of the people I know would be running away, at being told how to dress! That's one of the first things on the list, and that's as far as most Mormons get.

Oh--a real plus is that they won't be asked to give a donation on a plate. Why aren't Mormons advised to tell the investigator UP FRONT that 10% for life, is the price. Isn't there a business law about that?

DO NOT invite them to 'church'
DON'T listen to the suits
DON'T look at the sky
DON'T come prepared
DON'T think of ANYTHING
DON'T smile or fake it
DO NOT be reverent

Inviting others to worship with us at sacrament meeting is a great way to share the light and love of ourselves with family and friends. But sometimes we make it harder than it needs to be.

SOMETIMES?
WE?
What?

(1) Do it out of OBLIGATION;
Why are you inviting them? Is it for them or the cult? If you have their lack of interests in mind, they will feel your insincerity. If they think they are important to you, they may be more willing to learn about what else is important to you.

(2) DO NOT invite them to 'church' with you (and don't pay attention to the no worship times sign)
Ask your friends if they have a place to worship tscc and invite them to come be hoodwinked with you, especially at times like Christmas and Easter (when the chapels are empty or they're talking about Joseph's Myth) If they aren’t Christians, ask them if they’d like to learn more about Joseph Smith and invite them to experience a Cult worship service with you. Remember NOT to show the same respect for their beliefs that you hope they will give yours.

(3) Take NO impersonally
If your friend declines, look at them weird, but don’t think a “no” to attending TMC (The Mormon Cult/ "church") means “YES". There are a lot of reasons they have said no that have EVERYTHING to do with how they feel about the cult.

(4) Do Not help your friends "understand" the cult
If your friends accept an invitation to come to church, help them understand what to expect: how they might dress (suit, white shirt, tie, & garmies!), the LACK OF purpose and CRAZINESS of each meeting, and what will happen in the meetings—or not happen (for example, donations are not required during our meetings, but after! WITH ACCOUNTING, NO SACRAMENT for the 'initiates' and SINNERS, not worshipping Jesus, etc.). This may help them be more guarded when they come to church.

(5) Don't replace anything with anything
People are usually MORE interested in our doctrURine than they are in our fake community and bad words. Help them disconnect with people, and share how we aren't involved in the community, don't serve together, and don't really care for each other.

A bad way to introduce someone to the RBG (restored BS gospel) of JC is to start by sniffing the stinking blessings the gospel has not to offer. For example, you could try to show them how the 'church' can hurt them, and loose their family roots, WEAKEN their family, become LESS self-reliant, give meaningless service, and give their children BAD standards to DIE by. Discussion of specific doctrines and beliefs can be IGNORED, LIED ABOUT, or Swept Under The Rug.

Some people you might want to introduce them to include the EXsecretary, the missing Aries, or the low council.

(6) DON'T welcome everybody (or anybody) - be fake
If your friends attend, do what you can to make them feel less welcome and meet their match. Likewise, if you see someone at church you don’t know, don't be friendly and welcoming. Let them know how small (the 'church' said) it was to have them there. Try to see straight through their eyes, DON'T invite questions, and please don't help them understand their crazy experiences.

(7) Don't Follow Up, except with FORCE (and enforcements)
Some who may be interested in attending are afraid that they’ll be pressured into something, AND THEY WILL. As you TRY to provide a good experience where your friends can feel the Holey (dead) Ghost, DON'T share thoughts and feelings or feel like you have to force a spiritual experience (but you do). Trust the profit and don't let the spirit do any work. And if your friends don’t have time to stay for the fool meetings, like Bednard & others, MAKE THEM [feel guilty if they don't] force them to stay after church to (small) talk, thank them for not coming again and set up an inquisition to follow up.

The Least Important Invitation.
Inviting others to worship JS with us doesn’t have to be stressful for us or for them, BUT IT IS. As we invite friends, we are acting on the cult's wishes. Joy will follow as we share the light and love of ourselves with her.

This sounds very contrived and not at all friendly. I would never accept such an invitation. There are too many attached strings.

Anyone who wants to find a nice church to attend is capable of doing it on their own.

Yes, very contrived. Mormonism doesn't give members time or space to develop actual friendships with nonmembers. So when Mormons suddenly approach someone who is just an acquaintance and start asking them to "worship" with them, the alarms go off. If regular people know anything about Mormons, it's that they're proselytizers. "Here come the Mormons. They want only one thing." Besides, chances are non-Mormon acquaintances already know someone is a Mormon from the things they say and do, so if the non-Mormons are the slightest bit interested they would approach the Mormon about it.

Mormons are completely unaware how un-worshipful their "worship" is.

First red flags, then blue flags, and then the white flag!

Everyone talked about "fellowshipping" someone. Then a guy got up and started to cry really hard and he snorted really loud. Both my friend and I just lost it. We were having a hard time not laughing. We ran out of there quickly when we had a chance.

It was HORRIBLE.

I was always skeptical about taking my nonmormon friends to church. I must have known deep down how weird it was. The only reason he went with me is because I was visiting him and his wife in the Seattle area and I wanted to go to church, so he drove me there.

Taking people to church on Christmas and Easter when the holidays are barely mentioned is not good advice.

When was Mormonism ever noted for giving (forgiving) good advice?

You have a point,lol, but taking a visitor to church on the two holiest day of the year and barely having the occasion acknowledged is offputting to many Mormons. Imagine how outsiders will react.

Totally!

Why is this article called "5 Things" when it lists 7 things?

DO Not bring visitors
DO Not leave early
DON'T introduce others
DO Not tell the truth
DON'T smile
DO Not share
DO Not care
DUDE-

Hahahaha!!!

Dude......