Date: March 13, 2019 08:02PM
Stranger--I'm so sorry that you Mormon family has subjected you to so much unhappiness. My own TBM parents loved me, but they were very strict, and believed in "tough love." However, my siblings were unbearable! One older brother beat me and tortured me, all of his life, until I broke off all contact with him when I had children of my own, who needed to be protected from him. He was sued several times for sexual harassment, yet always took on an air of Mormon male superiority, because he looked like our important GA relative. He spoke like our GA, imitating his voice and gestures perfectly. He prayed like our GA. Our oldest brother stole away my parent's estate, from the rest of us. When our parents died, my sister and I broke off all contact. She and her husband were/are faithful Mormons, and they still found our Mormon family to be unbearable.
We made the right decision. We didn't join in the family business with them, and, years later, my oldest brother's children stole all the money from the family business, and left the country. Recently, one of them, who was in the bishopric, forged a fake Will for our other brother, and the beneficiaries of his real Will sued him, but he had already sold the assets and spent most of the money, so they recovered only half. Our nieces and nephews are too warped to hold jobs, so they wander around, mooching off of other family members. Still--their nastiness and cruelty is my main complaint about those people.
In my experience, these people never change. Not ever. It might help you to read about sociopaths and narcissists. You will understand that you are not to blame, that you couldn't form a normal relationship with them. You will understand that you did the right thing for you at this time!
Stranger wrote: "I love my brother and I wish him well, but I just can't do this anymore. Every interaction with my family leaves me sick with anxiety for days, and I'm just done. My family has decided that I am selfish, apostate, and mentally ill, and nothing I do or say or accomplish will ever change that, so I'm just done. I'm done trying and I'm done doing "the right thing" when it costs me so much."
I was forced into making this same choice, along with my sister and her husband and all of our children. I would be literally sick for days. I have PTSD from the childhood abuse from my older brother, who was the school bully, but went on a mission, and his pious self-righteous act made the darling of the ward.
Congratulations! I swear, some of the most joyous moments are the ones in which I can add-on my freedom! I celebrate on the nights of the ward Christmas party and the Christmas Fireside--that I'm not there! I celebrate every weekend, that I don't have to put up with Mormon demands, negativity, and punishment. You will have a wonderful time on Friday! 1) You will be true to yourself. 2)You will be with people who genuinely like you.
I will be thinking of you on Friday. Sorry you have suffered in the past--for nothing--it's so unnecessary.